Apr. 6th, 2017

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
ugh, nightmares.
I had to cancel yesterday because I hadn't slept, and now I've managed five and a half hours sleep in inconvenient pieces
full of Prison Break nightmares which seem unfair given I don't even watch it
some mess of chemical mind control and being in prisons and the whole thing being run by bad men
and in the middle of it all philosophical ponderings that people like stories that bring the world and its power plays down to a scale they can wrap their heads around, and then up the stakes until the while world hangs on it.

which, yeah, but I'd still quite like a good night's sleep, actually, and maybe to feel rested instead of blergh.

My anxiety levels have actually dropped a bit about this LJ thing but are still on the kind of high alert that feels further action is necessary before things get worse
but with these givens it isn't because not signing what I can't agree with so all done

I'm philosophically unprepared fr all done bye bye, even when nobody has been posting over there anyway.

oh well.



On the plus side I didn't dream Legends of Tomorrow.

The bits of the finale that made it to where I could see them were a teensy bit rough for someone that's there for Captain Cold and Heatwave.

Read more... )



Honestly I'm kind of glad what I wanted Mick and Len for is a secondary world fantasy au they grow up in. Canon can't bork that and if I break them I can fix them.



I'm not best pleased about being awake right now.





Also, not all anxiety is because of tv and lj. RL in the tiny proximate sense rolls along as per usual, but reading the news is really tense. Why politicians want to drive us off a cliff I don't know, but it's kind of distressing.

I should go and eat a food and feel different later.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Today I have been doing much better than yesterday because today I ate a food.
Yesterday I just didn't feel well enough to.

Today I also watched a couple more episodes of Agent Carter season two.
it seems to be a lot about kissing. and who people are in love with. and women getting things they need by manipulating kissing.
I mean the bit where she memory zaps that guy repeatedly so he'll make the same pants driven mistake every time could be read as funny, but could also be considered creepy. So I don't think it subverts it much just to show that women use that stuff.
I'm beginning to think retro sexism is pretty much sexism.

Plus doing things because of her brother is... not the way I'd have written it. I saw an old sort of propaganda movie that was all about how cool it was to go be a woman soldier in world war two, and it had a bit where an older lady said how she and many of her generation were doing much in world war one. So if you want inspiration from somewhere, why not like that?

Also? That bit where the lady on the front desk went to be a field agent? Of course she can, has same training, protects the base. But it's all well and good saying it's because they trust her, but logically it means she's no longer suitable to do her regular duties. I mean the place is supposed to be properly secret, so if someone can recognise the receptionist from SSR field activity, the whole office is sunk.
Obviously that's only important if the secrecy thing is important, but still.



I'm feeling a bit critical of many things.

But I only changed the picture settings like three times today. Maybe can get used to it? Setting the color to coolest seems to have made it look more right to me, but I can put it back to normal if I wants.



If I can get anxiety levels back down to basic twitchy instead of so many alarums I'll count it a big win.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I went to the dancings but it did not work out very well.
I was dizzy and did sitting down dancing instead, which doesn't work very well.
I think being awake since 0530ish is not compatible with dancing.

but it should be, because dancing usually makes feel better.

I did shoppings and bought a yoga mat as well as the usual foods. I have put it under all the exercises I have taped to the bookcase. It will make me feel like I'm making progress towards this exercise thing.

I tired now.

But I did all the things I set out tom albeit slowly and feeling blergh, and that's the best some days get.

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beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
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