So the thing with depression is:
I used to daydream about Ted Kord, science hero gadgeteer inventor and basically fun guy, funny and friendly and super dedicated to his best friend.
And then it was more about Tony Stark, billionaire science hero gadgeteer inventor, life of the party when he's wearing his public persona, working through PTSD and depression and fighting off alcoholism when he's just being himself.
And now I'm pretty much daydreaming on villains.
Harry Wells, billionaire science hero inventor and one time murderer because reasons, is only a little bit dark side
but Eobard Thawne is at least as interesting, once he's wearing Wells, and pretty much a serial killer.
And still the whole scientist inventor getting stuff done thing is a theme.
But I used to think I was the kind of person who could get along with Ted Kord and fit into that kind of superhero life, and then I felt for Tony and his screwed over life, and then I just... it's like I'd felt bad for so long I felt like I *was* bad, and then what?
Well then supervillains.
I mean, they might be murdery threats to your existence in an ongoing sort of way, but only on the grounds you get in their way, not because they're judgey.( Read more... )
But a lot of this theory sounding stuff is fancy justification for a simple thing:
when I feel bad I hang out with bad in my head.
And I try to make it better.