beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
It started out with trying to swap a wrong color bridesmaid dress while out with the hen night, and ended up with saving mortal!Odin from a Xenomorph invasion.

... okay, it started out with accidentally magic soulmate marrying Draco Malfoy and ended up with the registry office marriage to make it official, but that is somewhat more embarrassing.

Rolling up to my own wedding wearing the blood of my enemies and formal armour provided by Asgardians is pretty much life goals, though.



Yes I realise xenomorph blood is too corrosive for fashion statements and I'm generally more fond of diplomatic solutions, but xenomorphs were the shock troops, they had scouts out that were pretty much humans, just colder, and it is really hard to get diplomatic with either zombies or aliens who consider you a nice place to breed.



So. ... Draco Malfoy. ... I neither watch the films nor read Harry Potter. But I read the fanfic by Astolat and the one with the curtains and the dancing was memorable and... yeah. Draco Malfoy.

... got distracted on the wiki. I much prefer the age gap to book Draco from here rather than the whole decade to the actor. But neither were really what I'd consider my type. Morally questionable magic user, sure, but... really?



ANYway



Draco had been given a ring by his father, one which looked so plain it seemed almost cheap. It had a shield on it large enough to cover several fingers to the knuckle, but the whole thing was plain silver metal. Looked unfinished.

He kept trying to figure out the magic, but it wouldn't answer to him, yet.

He also got access to a secret library. He thought it was a backhanded insult from his father, because it contained so many toys, old fashioned half broken things. But the library of misfit toys had some useful texts and a lot of fun reading in it, so it was fine by him. And his father never went in there, so, peace and quiet.

I got in while searching for someone in an emergency. Whatever building it was physically in ... well, my dream libraries are almost always in the school library at St Lawrences, so the corridors outside it were a little kids school. Not Hogwarts, the age of a prep school you'd go to before that. Finding Draco and his library behind a door that didn't usually open was a bit of a surprise, though it seemed to make sense of the toys and so forth.

I imagine getting there by magic made its physical location a bit of a surprise too.

ANYway, that room was not the real secret, and it was entirely possible Draco's father hadn't known that. The ring was a key, and it unlocked the secret of how to step through the looking glass. But it wouldn't work for him alone, it only woke up when I got there, and the shield went from misty metal to highly polished, with a green glow. Draco hadn't meant to take me with him anywhere, but we both kind of dissolved into the light and streamed through a glowing mirror.

The looking glass library at first seemed to have just the same toys and books and so forth, but the 'toys' turned out to be people, bound into particular shapes, like the fox man, for being tricksy. They were not best pleased about still being there, but unbinding them was beyond our immediate knowledge. But the library was going to do a lot to expand that knowledge, since every fun story was now a textbook, and the few texbooks were more adult adventures.

How we got from there to magic married the dream decided to skip over. In any decent plot it would be the good bit. Two complete strangers trapped the wrong side of the glass have to learn to live and work together and end up soulbound, that's the whole interesting bit of the novel.

My dream decided to skip to PWP.

It couldn't do that with Captain Cold more?

Eh.



So! Anyway!

We walk back into the real world magic married, but not legally wed.

And Draco Malfoy has just married a muggle. Granted one with a good library based grasp of magic theory now, and a knack with mirrors as transport, but. His parents are going to go spare.

And because reasons, we need to get all the paperwork formally bound and done and dusted before a whole moon is up.


Again plot ought to go here, but no, we skipped to the hen night.



So at the hen night there's a minor sartorial disaster, and someone decides to get their bridesmaid dress out early. But oh noes! It is pink! Bright pepto bismol pink, no less. It's the right style and size, but on closer examination the label is for someone else. The shop mixed up two orders. And now we're on a quest, to go get the real dress back, and swap it for the pink monstrosity.

When we finally track the other party down they're at the wedding, wearing a mismatched 'nude' tone instead of the pink everyone else has on. They see our girl in the pink one, they collar each other immediately. Life saver! We get invites to the party. And our appropriate dress back.

... I must say, I wouldn't have thought of 'nude' toned dresses for bridesmaids, especially a veritable human rainbow of them, but now I'm awake I'm quite amused at the blending of traditions they represent. Like, aspiring middle class meets skyclad.

Beats heck out of pink.



But then at this total stranger's wedding reception party, held outside with some little tents, we see a bunch of strangely recognisable people. Like, Thor seems to be making puzzled faces at the punch. And Odin collected up a really piled up buffet plate, before wandering around the corner again.

After trying to get Thor's attention a few times (he's distracted because this time being mortal comes with ageing, and sagging wasn't something he'd ever thought about), we finally all set off around the corner after Odin

and straight into an ambush.

Thankfully I have a rounders bat on me
as you do
and a nice wooden sword with the end stake pointed.

... I'm not sure what theme of hen night makes these the obvious accoutrements, but now I want it...



The fight was epic. Fending off the attacker's real and sharp blade with my rounders bat in my left hand, weaving my wooden sword around in my right, until I duck and twist just right and jab right in around his armour, straight in the armpit...

and reflexively pull it, because I've never been in a real fight before.

I was so frustrated. It was such a beautiful move! Awake me could never pull it off! Perfectly executed, then I screw it up by forgetting I'm *actually* trying to kill them this time.

So I skip back out of his reach to get myself together again, and find Odin at my shoulder. He touches the wooden sword and I know he's done something to it, but no time to find out what. I'm back in the fight again, and this time when I strike, the sword strikes harder. It whips forward, a set of wooden chevrons on an internal chain, and the extra reach surprises the enemy to get him right in the chest. It hits the armour, but to our mutual surprise, it goes straight through. Gets him right in the heart. He drops, and the sword pulls itself back like a snake curled to strike, feeling somehow smug.

Let me tell you, a smug weapon that was a minute ago a toy is a disturbing thing, even in your own hand.



But we just saved Odin from some pretty dead looking dudes, so Thor, his friends, and as it turns out Loki, are all pretty pleased with us.

Unfortunately all his *enemies* are now paying attention.

I don't know what kind of bridesmaids I'd invited to this thing, but I felt it an appropriate time to split us up and say I'd see them at the wedding.

I went with Thor and his lot, because Things were Afoot.




So there was a lot of running around, and then we ended up in a room which looked like all art gallery pictures with fancy frames, but on closer reflection were just mirrors set to teleport. Loki had led us here because there should be a portal between realms here, but all we could find were these little local things. Which reminded me of Draco, so he turned up again. But we couldn't get Odin clear. Portal could be sensed, not seen, not found. All these eye level mirrors weren't it, and the one full length one felt like it ought to be, but was even shorter range than the rest, just tumbling you out another mirror in the room. Conundrum.

But then I noticed the frame for the big mirror wasn't set quite flush with the wall.

I set my sword to the gap and we pried at it until the big mirror swung open.

And out of the gap sailed a big cube of mirrors.

... not a cube, the ends and top and bottom were all the same shape as the door, the sides were big squares. But the really importantly memorable bit was as soon as the big mirrors block floated clear of the corridor containing it, it started positively boiling with xenomorphs. A roiling seethe of alien parts. And the only reason we had so much as an instant to react was so many tried to come through at once they couldn't fit.

I had my weapons, but I also had a healthy jolt of terror, so I made a cunning plan.

Run away.

And since they like movement they bolted straight after me.

I hit the wall nearest them, dived into a mirror there, and made sure both hands hit the frame in turn. The leading hand set the destination, and helped me vault in, but the trailing hand reset it. Could have lost fingers. Didn't. So I rolled out a mirror as far from the cube as I could reach... and the xenomorphs rolled out their original cube. Which, as I said, was a trap, if overloaded. Thrashing alien parts hit other parts, aliens got confused, annoyed, and bitey. Suddenly they're a roiling mass of pissed off xenomorph with each other's tails in their mouths, thrown back in a loop whenever one gets out, too crammed in to get out anyway.

My ouroborous trap bought time for the magic users, and they herded the whole mess into the portal Loki'd been planning to use. Which meant the xenomorphs were trying to invade another realm, one entirely pointless and inimical to them, but also meant we couldn't use that way.

And I looked around and wondered out loud if Odin hadn't been better off before we 'rescued' him.

Which, on the whole, met agreement.

So, Draco, well supplied with mirrors, could take Odin and get gone a sneakier way. While Loki, who ought to be best at sneaky, stayed with us, because we know full well his Odin impression can fool anyone.

I stuck with Loki!Odin, because... reasons? Adventure? It seemed like where the fun is?

And I said I'd see Draco there.



So me and the Asgardians charged off with the new duty of drawing as much attention to ourselves as possible. Which, let's face it, is the natural state of Asgardians. We just set out in a straight line to our next logical objective and set off as many alarms as possible.

And it was glorious.



But in the frustrating fashion of dreams, it was a bit light on detail, so all that goes here is something something plot plot Winning.



I mean that would be the good bit. Obviously. We set up a great big problem, and now we need a solution, and all I got is a rolling fight.

So probably the Winning happened in the other plot thread, where Draco needs to impress Odin, and show he can finish fights I started. Rather than, as one might reasonably consider wiser, run away and leave me to it. Partnership even when partner might not make it to appreciate the efforts.



But that left me, Thor, Lady Sif, and likely the warriors three, plus Loki, all lying around somewhat exhausted as the plot got resolved somewhere else.

And I have a wedding to attend.

Which, even if I can get to it in time, is going to be a real sartorial statement. Though as previously mentioned, I felt well satisfied with this whole 'blood of my enemies' look, it's not what you'd call a wedding classic. And I had a tail coat all picked out ready.

But we have Loki. Who at this point likes me. So not only shall I go to the ball, I get the realm's best honor guard to get me there.

I tell Loki he/she has my entire encouragement to outshine the bride, they've very much earned it.


So I walk in, in new formal armour, with a kind of tail coat look, rounders bat made mostly of magic by now on my shield side, wooden sword on my weapon hand with new ability to curl up all serpentine and give the impression it's looking around interested. On the groom's side, wizards in formal robes, faces changing from contempt-with-lemons to something trying not to resemble awe, and on the bride's a lot of my family, in their aspirational wedding best, trying to look like of course they knew and supported me. And up front a set of bridesmaid's in nude look gauzy dresses. And Draco Malfoy, gobsmacked and proud.


It was hilarious and glorious.



And if anything could ever get Draco Malfoy's family to accept marrying a muggle, I imagine it's rolling up to the wedding with actual Asgardian gods in your entourage.

I mean, that's a conversation stopper.




Pity as a plot it would take so much filling the holes to make it either hilarious or glorious to the reader, let alone grandly romantic. I'd have to put in a lot of awake work.

But that was very fun dreaming.
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beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
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