beccaelizabeth: Captain Jack Harkness smiles after Ianto propositions him (Jack stopwatch smile)
And I didn't even panic much about it :-)
... because I was busy wondering if I had in fact broken my arm on the way there or if it was basically fine except for when I moved it like that...

I don't have photos on my camera because mum did paying for photos and also because my bag was locked in the car because I hurt my arm and bags are heavy.

The day started fine and proceeded on schedule, it just had a few bumps in it. Like when I got out of the bus, checked my pockets, checked my bags, slid on a metal cover and went SPLAT on my back. Landed on my right hand I think. I didn't bang my head, though my hat fell off, but mum said to leave it off anyway. My right hand got all pavement printed and now I need to get my tail coat cleaned because floor, but mum said there weren't any mud, so that was probably okays. My arm hurt a bit but I could move my fingers and twist my hand and it's fine if it's staying still or resting like for typing, it's just push and pull and lift that are... definitely not fine. So I figure it's probably mostly okay, but since that happened on the way in to Norwich, that was what I was thinking about all day instead of worrying about standing up in front of hundreds of people. So that worked out!

... *facepalm* ...

Read more... )

That was a long day.

Everyone was proud and said I did well. Lots of family impressed. Pretty cool.

And now I have a shiny fancy looking certificate I have already filed with the rest of the college things, under my bed. Mum said I should frame it and put it on a wall, but I don't actually feel the need to do that. ... I might get it out and stare at it a few times, but that's a whole different thing.

Graduation ceremony = finally and completely done with 11 years at City College.

*blinks a lot*

... I think I'm okay with that.


Oct. 23rd, 2013 04:32 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Saturday is Big Fancy Ceremony in the Cathedral to say I've got my degree.

... I gave serious thought to going to a convention instead, but, Grandpa has been looking forward to it.

So I managed the tickets bit and the robe booking bit (because we play expensive dress up for a day for this), and the transport and wheels parts are for other relatives, so I'm pretty much non stressed about this. Saturday will be stress, this week not so much.

but my mum has stress. and everyone has what to wear stress, especially since wheelchairs guarantee you a front row seat. so I've been sitting and listening to mum on the phone trying to decide which of the invisible outfits to wear.

Read more... )
beccaelizabeth: Captain Jack Harkness smiles after Ianto propositions him (Jack stopwatch smile)
My letter arrived from City College.

I am pleased to confirm that the City College Norwich Awards Board held on 11 July 2013 recommended [beccaelizabeth] for the award of English with Cultural Studies BA (HONS) - 1st.

*does the happy dance*

my maths was right and my grades were (just barely) right and I got 70.1% all told on the final transcript and I got a First!

*bouncy punch the air happy dance again*


(Yes I know I kind of knew this already from doing the maths myself but now I have a LETTER and that means I actually have my degree. For reals. In my hand.)

The graduation ceremony is in October so I get to have another happy dance day then as well.

I finally have my degree!
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Exploring the extent of gender difference


This dissertation explores the depiction of gender in Doctor Who, a long running text, 1963-present, with multiple authors. Across half a century of popular television the representation of men and women changes, influenced by changes in social and cultural context that reshaped discourses of gender. I focus on Chapman’s account of the creation of classic Doctor Who in 1963, the story The Aztecs [1964], and seasons 5-7 of the new series, 2009-2012. Originally character design focused on creating audience identification figures to induce loyalty, providing both men and women with characters they would both understand and want to be. That has always been in tension with the demand of the plot that characters make mistakes and be endangered. The Doctor is always the expert hero, travelling with a female companion; many critics see the divide along gender lines, a powerful man protecting weak women. The Aztecs can be read that way: women, expert in humanities, argue about morality and kindness, and fail; men, expert in science and violence, successfully protect them. The division of power and spheres of influence set structures that influenced later seasons, producing tensions that were resolved differently in different decades. By 2009 The Doctor and Rory demonstrate different models of masculinity, differences in class, and tensions between expectations that males use power violently and approaches that emphasise communication and caring. Amy and River show different femininities, including stereotypes such as motherhood or dangerous manipulative sexual attractiveness, but fight against them, refusing to be boxed in and used by others for such roles. Success for both genders requires flexible approaches drawing on skills previously associated with the opposite sex. Previously gendered divisions became conflicts within each individual, highlighting and questioning the limits of both genders’ stereotypes. This reflects the increased importance of the feminine in society, culture, and science fiction.

13,196 words.

*** *** ***

This dissertation was for my English with Cultural Studies BA (Hons) and it got 65%
My best mark for an essay was 80%, so it's really not my best work.
But it was the best I could do after having been ill so much this year, to a deadline, in word count.

Word Count also explains why there's so many Appendices - quotes count towards the word limit, appendices don't. For the other 10 years I've been at college indented quotes over 40 words don't count towards the word limit, which was much less clunky and irritating.

Dissertations take a long time, and my initial plan didn't end up looking much like the finished thing, especially as regards how many episodes I was looking at. There were only supposed to be two, The Aztecs and A Good Man Goes to War, but I barely looked at the one and couldn't for the life of me focus on only the other. By the end of it I'm not sure I even agree with me, but there you go, it's done now.

I said if I got over 60% I'd show people. So.

Appendices and References
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)

Amy Screams, The Doctor Yells: Gender in Stephen Moffat’s
Doctor Who

Exploring the extent of gender difference


Read more... )

Chapter One: Doctor Who: Casting for Loyalty

Read more... )

Chapter Two: The Doctor and masculinities

Read more... )

Chapter Three: Companions and Femininities

Read more... )


Read more... )

Go here for comments, questions, feedback, and arguments.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
A lot of this should be photos, but I can't figure out how to put them in just yet. Bit of a pain really.


Read more... )

Read more... )

Comments and feedback (including 'here is how to put your pictures in' comments) here please.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Dissertation mark is finally up on the college website.
... I am still poking it and checking it and being all, "Really? Really really? Proper really really?"
And I put it in my spreadsheet and if I did the spreadsheet accurately I am :-D

... but also weirdly tearful.

... I got, for the Dissertation, 65%

Before this last year that would have been my worst grade ever, but considering the limitations imposed by health this year, that's a bit awesome.


Read more... )

So that was two months between handing things in and finding out how I did.
Two months in which I did a whole lot of absolutely nothing.
My plans for the future are similarly packed.
... possibly I need a new plan?
*looks up MAs at UEA again*
... *remembers how bored I've been for some years now* ...

On the plus side, if I can think of anything I still want to study, I have a good degree to start applying with.

... wow, that's still weird. I have a degree. It is done and I passed and everything.

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I read a Britpick meta about getting degrees, which was called University Education. I realised my education was an exception to basically ever part.

I study at College, not University. Read more... )

Er, I started off talking about Me At University, and have ended up with the educational equivalent of What's It All About Anyway, Really, When You Get Right Down To It?.
Read more... )

Okay then, I have a goal for the next... rest of my life: Actually start writing the things that will change the world again. Design some utopias and put them out there. Write the SF that extrapolates into the near future and see how we cope. Write the fantasy that I'm fairly convinced is what Sufficiently Advanced Technology is going to make of the future if we don't kill ourselves first. Or possibly even if we do. Just, in general, write. Make the heroes we want to see. Stop complaining and start trying to change things.

Well, complain in a different form, that'll be a big part of it.

But write.

and maybe if the scripts seem workable the new models of funding and production will provide a venue for finished work, even if I can't fit in the old boxes.

... next I need to decide what to write first. starting with which bit of F&SF I'll be playing in.

... also to learn how to ignore that I'm not, in fact, very good at it at all.
everyone's rubbish to start with. I might have 70 years to practice.
beccaelizabeth: Captain Jack Harkness smiles after Ianto propositions him (Jack stopwatch smile)
Thanks you everyone who offered help at all. Lots of helpful. I'm sure I'm going to regret not taking more of it, but people were nice.

I have finished.
Two hard copies of dissertation, printed and bound, including abstract and contents and appendices and references and bibliography, plus one log book, plus CD of all everything ever, plus upload of dissertation.
Handed in to appropriate desk, receipts received.

I am done.

Read more... )

I am done with my BA degree, with college, potentially with education if I so wish.

*blinks a lot*

... now I need a new plan.

... that could take a while...
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I was supposed to do a presentation made of advice to the 2nd years at some point around the start of the 2nd semester.
At that point my entire presentation would have been 'try not to get ill, and if ill, try not to take meds that you quit for Reasons last time'.
So I did not so much do that.
Teach says I will not fail from not having done that. So that's nice.
But I have been thinking what I would say in my presentation now:

Do not do what I did.

Start early, as early as humanly possible. You never know when you'll get ill and lose eight weeks.

Read more... )

Do not do as I did. Start early. Work often. Actually hand stuff in at progression points. Feedback is lovely, but tricky to use when you find yourself with two weeks to... well, write the thing. Progression points are a reasonable distance apart and you will deeply regret blowing through them with that whooshing deadline sound.

Listen to your teachers, for they know what they'll be marking you on.

It is vastly frustrating to reach the end of the course and mostly be wishing I had another month or two.

Good luck.

... in an actual presentation I would also be telling exactly what I learned about Doctor Who.
I tried doing that in the presentation for Diss Prep and got a rather terrible mark for it. I greatly fear I would not now be much improved.



Mar. 27th, 2013 02:21 pm
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I went to college. Got there an hour early, got on the computer and worked on my bibliography. I realised it's not as close to done as I had thought, because I need to write each and all Doctor Who episodes I mention individually in proper format in the bibliography. I can't just say a season and year, it has to look like this:

'A Day in the Death' (2008) Torchwood, Series 2, episode 10. BBC Two Television, 5 March.

'Genesis of the Daleks' (2006) Doctor Who, episode 1. Directed by David Maloney. Written by Terry Nation. First broadcast 1975 [DVD]. London: BBC DVD.

... those are the exact examples in Cite it Right, the how to book.

I must use the full title of an episode the first time it is mentioned but after that I can use 6.7 or whatever, the episode numbers.

But teacher explained the really good trick that will get the words down to count Read more... )

The important thing I should take from this day is, if I get the citations right and the word count rearranged, I will pass and get my degree. That should really relieve the pressure.
... it doesn't, but it obviously should.

Now I need to actually sleep since I haven't for more than a couple hours in a couple days and my eyes are all blurs.
beccaelizabeth: When you say words a lot they don't mean anything.  Or maybe they don't mean anything anyway and we just think they do. (literature)
13,830 words out of 12000 plus or minus 10%. I'm actually feeling like it's possible to get down to word count.
Of course I still need to write a proper introduction that fits, and I feel like I've just taken out the 2.5K words that made it actually interesting in the first place, but... progress!

The problem is after a while you're reading and editing and reading and editing and eventually words cease to have all meaning and it's just word blah word blah word word word. There are words and you're sure at some point they meant something but goodness knows what it is now.

Also, my thread of argument about River Song is as twisty and doubled back as her timeline. I feel like it would make more sense if I unravelled it and started again, but then again, I sit down to write a fresh version and nothing happens. My word doesn't have... er, that's a typo, I meant my brain doesn't have words in that are in logical helpful order, just word blah word blah word word word.

I said I would send the editing and formatting corrections he'd asked for. I figure if I send them before 0900 it's the same as sending them on Thursday. I have done the formatting thing and feel pretty good about the editing progress and I'm sure if I give my brain a break for an episode or something I'll have more editing in me.

... I'm also increasingly sure those really were the most interesting bits I cut. Everything I cut is definitely for sure in another file waiting to be pasted back in, but it's still not a nice feeling.

Drat it all.

Okay. Drink. Biological maintenance.
Another episode of Doctor Who, with note taking.
(Which is necessary. I'm not wasting time. I found an episode that reminded me I either needed a few thousand more words or to just turn one paragraph into a sentence saying I needed a few thousand more words, or else I couldn't make an argument that weren't contradicted every which way by said episode.)

(3 weeks. I hates this having to convince myself it's necessary to do ANY any things.)
(But I will not starve today for I had soup. So that's okay.)


Mar. 15th, 2013 06:04 pm
beccaelizabeth: When you say words a lot they don't mean anything.  Or maybe they don't mean anything anyway and we just think they do. (literature)
Have sent today's version of the dissertation to teacher as agreed at meeting last week.
argh argh what a mess argh.
still 16000 words, still no introduction, and the femininities chapter sort of turns into the conclusion without stopping to say so.

also I re-read the instructions and apparently I'm supposed to have given a talk at the start of the semester? I really hope someone formally decided I didn't have to. That's happened before, I have Special Circumstances or something, that would be helpful due to the whole panic and woe thing. But I'd quite like to not fail due to being forgot, so I asked about it.

also today I hung up the laundry to dry, but I think I forgot it in the washing machine for a bit long, cause now it smells funny. reckon I'm going to put it back in and wash it again.

I have covered all the topics I meant to, except when I had to just delete a whole paragraph because you can't possibly go off on that really interesting tangent within this word limit. and it's not even a tangent, because race-and-gender and sexuality-and-gender are like class-and-gender always things that are in a particular performance of gender. It's significant that a character changes when they're played by a black woman and a white woman. Though I'm not so sure how much 'changes' is exactly right, given that girl with a gun is sort of central to River either way. It's interesting that when guys get flirty and use lipstick for evil they're omnisexual guys, not het guys. And the Doctor's status as a Lord is pretty easy to argue as being his most consistent feature, so when he's trying to be a 'normal bloke' that's not just trying to perform gender, bloke, but class, of the day job and pubs and football variety. Eccentric aristocrat investigator scientist is the Doctor, so trying to hide investigator he also hid... well, not eccentric, obviously, but his class he tried to hide. Can't just say 'gender' and not those bits, even if it would help my word count.

I still have nothing to say about The Aztecs I couldn't have got from the summary. If I'm going to delete anything completely it would be that. But then I'd end up with a splodge of information about the creation of the show in teh 60s which I refer to a bunch later but which isn't the most directly relevant thing to the recreation of the show in the 21st century or under different showrunners.

*big sigh*

I don't waaaaant to deletes it! My words mine!
... rubbish words, I know. Must make tidy and academic.
... every single assignment I've ever handed in has come back telling me I need to sound more academic. I'm just aiming for use of full sentences and actual paragraphs. The rest is fine by me.

I'm stuck at the moment between thinking I will faaaaaaiiiiiiilllll completely (arrgh arrgh arrgh)
and getting worried about maybe I will get above 60% (like almost every other unit ever) and then I have to worry if I get 65% and a First or if I've calculated wrong or if I'll just miss it or or or or or


I have 31 days left. Hand in day is 15th April. I have two more weeks to get feedback from teacher. (I hope he answers his email promptly this time.) I have quite a lot of words that are quite a lot on topic even if I'm having slight problems remembering what I read where, I've got lots of notes I can find it.

Logically I have quite a lot of time.
Logically I should be able to hand in something that will pass.

... logic and brains are only passing acquaintances, aren't they?
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
That essay I was highlighting this afternoon, where the myth reference nagged at me?
Had probably got Promethean and Protean mixed up.
The Doctor as Promethean figure actually kind of fits, but it was in a paragraph talking about the very changeable nature of both the character and the show, so probably it meant the other P.

also in this afternoon's reading: social moors. Probably means mores.
less amusing than the sexual morays I have previously read of.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Went to college :-)
Arrived with 10 minutes to spare, yaays.
... nearly missed bus. had to catch bus at the bus stop that is only half way to the proper bus stop they'd like you to use.

Talked to teacher for half an hour. Not sure I said anything useful. Though apparently I can base my whole dissertation around being really fed up at Freud, as long as I say useful theory things and avoid the whole swearings thing.
... now I can't remember very much of what was said. I wrote it down. I hope I remembered to save it in the right place so I can get at it from here.

I have two weeks to write something. A chapter, an introduction, a small tiny bit. ANYthing.
I can totally do that in two weeks, right?

I had grand plans for the rest of the day but less of them worked than I'd hoped.
I went to Waterstones on the way to the bus and tried to order books, but Seanan McGuire books can no longer be ordered, except if I want to skip the next three in the series and then only maybe.
I just started, and now I can't get. *sulk*

I got the bus to City College but they have changed everything when I wasn't looking.
The food place is like cut in half now, small, and the food stuffs they sell are smaller. There were no burgers, let alone vegetarian burgers, and also they no longer sell Ribena, or hula hoops, or plain ready salted crisps. Everything was cheese. I thought it was just the stupid new building that had gone useless with the food, but no, it's college. There was nothing much I could eat. I could have had egg beans chips, which would usually be good, but I'm tired and clumsy and didn't fancy wearing beans the rest of the day.
Also everything was New and Different and I did not approve.
So I ended up buying Sprite, from the available options, but Sprite gives me hiccups.
So that was a fun afternoon.

I talked to a finance adviser at college, because the student grant didn't work this time and I thought it should. It's not a disaster if it doesn't, I have few credits left and have been saving up, but what kind of idiot scheme pays for all but your last year? So they will be phoning and asking and sent me some forms to fill in to ask college to pay for it if the student loans company won't.

I went to the library and filled in 3 interlibrary loans forms. £3 for 3 books, instead of £100 on Amazon.
I don't know how long it will take them to get them but I have 60 days left for them to be useful so that should work.

I photocopied a bunch of things. That did not go so well. The photocopier had randomly decided to not copy like an inch of page, but only on random pages. Other pages, like the ones I checked at first, worked perfectly well. Between all the copies I made I have all the inches now but that was just unhelpful.

And I had intended to stay in the library and Get Work Done and then go to dancing lessons, but, I had hiccups, and then I started aching in most of my joints, and then I decided bugger that for a lark and went home.

I tried to get the bus back to the city centre but I was distracted with trying not to have hiccups and it zoomed past without me sticking my hand out.
The timetable reckoned it wasn't due for another five minutes at least so that was just unhelpful.

So I walked instead, and I walked up to Sainsbury's which is opposite the bus station.
I bought the egg potato things I wanted eventually. Only Sainsbury's have them, but they are very good to eat. I am eating one now. Clearly it was worth the detour.
It should have been a five minute errand but they were hiding so it took longer, and by the time I got back outside and went to cross the road to the bus station, I got to watch my bus home zoom majestically past.

So I had half an hour to wait.

By this point I was so tired I got confused about which bus goes to home. It's not confusing. I know for long times which bus goes to home. But today I had to ask a human because I just could not figure it out in the middle of the busy bus station with the people and the buses and a dozen different stands and the boards that didn't say anything helpful.

So then I got the bus, eventually, and it dropped me off at my house because it is the best bus, and I got home with no misadventures.

But Ow. My back and shoulders and hips all concur. Ow.

So now I have two weeks, a stack of books with lots of helpful markers in, on Doctor Who episode, and...
an intimidatingly blank piece of metaphorical paper. Blinking cursor. White screen. Argh.
But I have been doing this studying thing since 2002 and my brain appears to be back and I can and will sit down and write something. Anything at all. And then he will tell me where it is rubbish and we will have helpful progress.
Two weeks.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Has a meeting today at 12. So I set the alarm for 0930. I slept, eventually. So now I'm just tired and cranky but after sleeping. Also my dream slipped away again. Not remembering dreams is weird for me. Do not like it. Being stuck in only the awake world, not nice.

So I have to go talk about my dissertation.
... yeah, that's going to go well.

Read more... )
... and I've been typing for 45 minutes and I actually needed to be getting up and going to college.
Oh dear.
Going to miss the intended bus and get the one that's a bit tighter for time then.
Must dash.
... do not want. drat it. cannot teleport to college, must go now.
beccaelizabeth: When you say words a lot they don't mean anything.  Or maybe they don't mean anything anyway and we just think they do. (literature)
my hand hurts. handwriting sucks. I don't know why I started handwriting my DW notes. No, wait, I do, because I was eating soup at the time and couldn't get my laptop out. That's a suck reason to continue a habit that leaves my hand hurting. Except the habit continues to include eating while watching Doctor Who, so the problem continues to apply.

I made notes on The Doctor's Wife. Read more... )

Am also reading theory books. Triumph of a Time Lord I've got as far as checking the bibliography (read it read it own it read it hmmm maybe the librarian can get hold of that one but mostly read it) and reading the introduction. It seems unlikely to be specifically helpful to a focus on gender in Moffatt's era. But it's a lot more readable than some of the other stuff.

Science Fiction Audiences keeps either being about Star Trek or repeating stuff from The Unfolding Text that was boring in the first place. Read more... )

Do you think it's theoretically possible to have seen all the things and heard all the things and read all the books and read all the comics? It feels impossible, but then it feels impossible to read all the fanfic until I'm actually poking around trying to find new things to read.
Not so much new Doctor Who things though, I've barely read any of those, and them usually because they turn up on my f-list.

There's bits about Audiences that are all about fans. Like about reading what fans write on forums or on LJ and treating it just as serious as the Serious Academia. Which it is, just with less Foucault, usually.
I can therefore quote a theory dude pointing out this is Serious Thinkings and then go poking around on DW and LJ for what other people think of A Good Man Goes to War specifically and gender in the TARDIS in general.
... and again, there's never any reading all of that.

On the one hand I could read all the gender stuff in the library and just keep going and going and going. On the other everyone keeps citing the same people, who I have read, and the same books about science fiction, which I have read, and neither what I've read nor the remaining books seem to be specifically relevant to gender on television or gender in science fiction let alone both.

All the books, none the finding things.
I'd like to be better at that part.

By Thursday I'm planning to have a new list of to-read to give to the librarian, books I can't find in any of the libraries I can physically get to. Then I give them 50p for each title and they magic them from afar.
Librarians have awesome powers.

I should also ask for librarian advice.

I'll get tutor advice too.

I'm bored and my hand hurts and also quite a lot of my arm.
I might have to take a day off to not use my writing hand.

... I knew that, that's why I have a computer for college, so this is just me being an idiot.
double boo.
beccaelizabeth: When you say words a lot they don't mean anything.  Or maybe they don't mean anything anyway and we just think they do. (literature)
It is frustrating when the index makes it look like a book has a ton of relevant stuff all the way through it
but when I bring it home to read it turns out every references is either
Terry Nation (who wrote for Doctor Who)
Douglas Adams (who wrote for Doctor Who)
or Peter Cushing (who played Doctor Who in the movies)
and only the one chapter is in fact vaguely theory type stuff about Doctor Who.
On the one hand, I have finished reading the useful bits of British Science Fiction Television: A Hitchhiker's Guide. Which is yaay. On the other, I could have photocopied pages 52-71 and instead I brought home a 300 page hardback. :-/
Also I'd forgotten I have already photocopied the interesting bits, and the reason I hadn't photocopied pages 52-71 was they were not in fact interesting. I've got a bunch of sticky notes in there but they're mostly the bright pink of pick a fight with this. Also they're mostly on statements about how rubbish the Doctor Who FX were (compared to what? Compared to Star Trek, apparently, but really? And the BBC used Doctor Who to try out new tech, like chroma key, so it was sometimes 'rubbish' in a really quite cutting edge way while trying to figure out what to do with it.), or contradictory statements where the Doctor kissing girls is weird American imposition one page, adult exploration of sexuality the next. Yes, the TV movie was egregiously awful, but that doesn't make kissing American.
Also it seems to be calling fandom the result of entrepreneurs seeing a marketing opportunity just like Star Trek. Fan organisations and conventions are marketing? It's possible it is talking about American cons and means to contrast with British ones, but it makes it sound like cons are in fact American, which, really, no.
... and having complained about this on the internet I can throw those markers out. Doesn't leave many.

The bit where it reckons casting Billie Piper was because of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, rather than, say, twenty five years of Doctor Who companions, is just bizarre. What's the connection? Casting a pop 'starlet'? Is there something I don't know about Buffy stars? All the chapter offers is that RTD likes Whedon, and really, which writers don't now?

More useful to quote about 2005: "Themes that marked the programme as a product of its time included an unprecedented acknowledgement of the Doctor's sexuality and a marked emphasis on female agency. Strong female characters abounded and almost all the episodes were either resolved by female intervention or concluded with a female character in the position of power with responsibility for the future."

... that has both a green and a pink marker, because yaay, womens! But, er, this is new to 2005?

The bit right before it about the TV movie: "The Doctor was adrift in San Francisco and the plot now reflected American interest in action and romance and plot preoccupations familiar from Star Trek. For the first time, the Doctor kissed a woman and spoke about his family."

... and here precision ought to count, because he spoke about his family in Tomb of the Cybermen (a story arc mentioned earlier in the chapter), and talked to his family rather a lot due to travelling with his granddaughter.
Then it goes on to be all half human is a Spock thing, interest in Earth as mother's planet is Oedipal, etc etc
Though I'd think there's quite a long way between 'wishes to be friends with same species as his mother' and, you know, Oedipus.

But again, it skips the ways family had been (for at least one story) important in the classic series (Victoria, Nyssa, Tegan), and in the 2005 series, and calls it American to be interested.
That's just weird.

But the chapter starts off with saying "Doctor Who had found his niche as a British character living American B-movie adventures" so *big shrugs*

I need to read more and more substantial stuff. And I need to write something. Anything. Small things.

I'm looking forward to this course ending. Don't know what I'll do next, but is hard to find the fun doing this.
beccaelizabeth: Seal of Rassilon with bi pride colors (Rassilon)
I decided to focus on A Good Man Goes to War. Because. I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've been rewatching the Amy and Rory and 11 and River episodes. I'm up to A Christmas Carol. There's a lot of very upsetting themes in these things. It's not just Daleks and Cybermens and Silurians, it's suicide and child abuse and... well, more suicide and scared children. I'm used to things having more of a cloak on, but here the monsters are, mostly human looking and frightened of plausible things.

And then there's the time travel stuff, and trying to sort it out in your head. Which is a bit less plausible. But still really about things like losing a child or not really knowing the important things about someone you love.

Read more... )

I was going to write something more proper lit theory ish though.

Things I have been reading lately... were not as useful as I might have hoped.

Read more... )

So: theory things
weave Trasker and Mulvey and that TARDIS thingy together better
find more to say about the military bits

... feel a horrible sinking sensation as one becomes convinced this wouldn't fill an essay, much less a dissertation.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know what I'm handing in tomorrow, this is my best shot thus far, I have nothing.

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
My grade for last semester is in
For the Life Writing class I pretty much didn't turn up to with the teacher I always get rubbish grades from
who has different ideas about how grammar and punctuation work than... every style guide I own and most everything I've ever read.


Which is, just, on the grade boundary for a 2:1

I am slightly frustrated that her feedback is things like 'is this from the Reader' when following the [name] and reading the Bibliography would show yes, it is in fact from the Reader, and hey, the bibliography is right there at the end of the page. Or, "did you get feedback on this on BB? Did you edit the work? Did it begin from an exercise in class? " when my commentary says "This piece started as an entry on my online journal" and "Feedback there and in class" led to "I revised the opening" and "I only strengthened the zombie metaphor, editing out a reference to being distracted by shiny things that seemed inconsistent with zombies to some readers."
So I got feedback online and in class
I revised and edited the work in response to it
and it didn't start from an exercise, it started from my online journal, the exact page which is linked to in the bibliography.
But that was in the 'needs improvement' section so that's areas I lost marks in.
Which is frustrating, because I thought that was pretty clear.
Also frustrating is being told it jolts and is disjointed and I explained it's meant to jolt and be stumbling. And if that was a problem then some feedback to that effect at an earlier stage would have been nice. And it's not that I didn't turn up to class and get feedback, it's that I showed her and didn't get feedback.

Also it says the science fiction is too strong and it is supposed to be life writing. I had a whole paragraph about how Haiti deals with mental illness through zombies. But okay, I'm a science fiction writer, and I didn't turn up for lessons enough to know what Life Writing is. That's just a bit sad, that's not frustrating.

I have plugged the numbers in to my giant spreadsheet of grade calculation and reckon I now need to get at least 64% on my dissertation to get a First overall.
If I pass at all, hand something in and make at least 40%, I will get a 2:1.
But it would be a disappointing 2:1 because until this year with the being ill 63% was my worst mark ever and that was for Modernism with this same teacher and I loathe Modernism something fierce.

Okay, my employee is here so I'll stop chewing over the grade and go take things to the library and get more books.

The plan is to go see The Hobbit. I hope this works out.


Jan. 21st, 2013 05:21 pm
beccaelizabeth: When you say words a lot they don't mean anything.  Or maybe they don't mean anything anyway and we just think they do. (literature)
I have read all the things. Specifically I have read all the things I happen to have in the house.
*epic employee frustration deleted*
So I'll be going to the library on Thursday. As we planned to last Thursday.
Or of course I could become the kind of human who can get all the way to the library by herself, but that has not been the case for some time now and I'm not betting much on it.

I thought about just ordering the books to buy but (a) the ones that still exist cost about £50 each because academic (b) about half the list does not in fact still exist and (c) nowhere has them in stock as such, they just reckon they could order them from America, which will clearly not take the whole semester or anything.

All I need to do is catch the 4 bus up to the UEA library. It shouldn't be hard.
... except for it is and I just have to make my peace with that or spend the week doing the mental equivalent of wheels-in-mud.

So I have read all the things I have in the house. Which aren't the most useful or appropriate things, but are quite interesting in their way. I have done plural hours work every day for several weeks now. Some of that work is rewatching Doctor Who episodes and writing down who saves who and who screams for who and how it works out, but that's useful, and also counts as my lunch hour. I have put little post it bookmarks next to all the interesting things in the books. I have books that are now half made of post it but I'm sure it'll be useful eventually. I have highlightered all the photocopied things, even though most of them are daft.

I have not made words go in a row in even a vaguely essay outline ish way.

I have one week before next progression point.

I have feeling of impending doom.

Feeling of impending doom is counterproductive because I end up curled up under a blanket feeling sick and going over old plots in my head, as opposed to doing anything vaguely useful at all. It's annoying.

It's also the best I can manage, because if I throw more effort into it I do not in fact get more result out, I just get wore out in that wheel spinning way.

Why this stupid annoying timing? I started working towards this in 2002. Why now I all stuck all the time?

... actually mum pointed out why now, because I've been working towards this since 2002, so it's a teensy tiny bit important and stressful.


Brains. Who'd have them.

Okay, I started reading at 0630, I watched Charmed somewhere in the middle and did some hiding under a blanket but otherwise took notes and read Doctor Who books, I'm calling today Done.

... how does more not get done?

*big sigh*
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Been reading a lot about gender and action heroes and also Doctor Who and how they designed identification figures for a loyalty program for a family audience.

One of the essays suggests that companions are identification figures for children because of the screaming bits. The parts where they're powerless are parts children can identify with. And then the parts where they're having adventures in time and space are the attractive fantasy parts.

So I was thinking, there's a lot of grump about screaming women that need rescuing. It is sometimes even well aimed grump. It's annoying when the only thing women do is scream and need rescuing. But I hadn't thought before about the powerless parts being about making them someone to identify with. Cause we all start out screaming. If it was powerless = women identify I'd be annoyed and it would be a stupid idea. But it's the child part. Every kid knows the monsters are real because every kid starts out stranded ignorant among giants, totally dependent on others for rescue. Everyone can understand that bit.

So I reckon it's only a problem if one person only gets that bit. Because then there's no attractive fantasy, or no role model to look at it from another point of view. The planning thingies for inventing Doctor Who point out that children aren't interested in the adventures of kids the same age or younger, but they don't say why that I recall. I speculate they're interested in people who can do more than them. Because once you know monsters exist, you want to know how monsters can be defeated.

Yelling for help is one pretty good way when you're a kid. Again, it's annoying if one person yells and someone else comes to help every single time. And it's annoying if it's always women screaming. But I've been grumpy previously about the screams-and-dies combination so popular in movies. And before the credits in certain TV shows. Screaming should be socially useful, serving as an alert to others who can help or protect themselves according to their resources. And in Doctor Who it does work that way. Yelling 'Doctor' happens a lot - a lot a lot - but it has the cardinal virtue of actually working. Yell for help, get help. Get by with a little help from your friends.

It's like how the Doctor consistently reckons running, fear, even being a coward, as good things. Because then you haven't slaughtered billions, and fear keeps you fast so you have a better chance of surviving. It's very anti action movie in that respect. Run away and figure things out, do lots of talking, bring friends along because they keep things interesting but also because then they protect you while you figure things out.

So being powerless and screaming aren't necessarily annoying, because they have their place. It's just they tend to be unbalanced, especially because gender. There are imbalances of knowledge and power, and since the Doctor is a bloke who knows everything and can do almost everything, it tends to be the blokes who are ahead on points. Which is why we need a female Doctor as soon as possible. A female person of color Doctor. Because otherwise this imbalance is built in. But the other way to balance things out is to introduce someone who knows things, sometimes more than the Doctor, and can do things, sometimes more than the Doctor, and is not a white bloke.

Hello River Song.

It was annoying she was black that one time because she was also kind of evil and criminal and stuff. She turned white for her redemption arc. That's a bit of a problem. But it's kind of cool that River was black that one time because (a) Time Lords can just change, it's a silly category for Time Lords, the Doctor could be black later (which I think he said in a Sarah Jane Adventures bit but can't remember for sure) and (b) River is cooler than the Doctor and River was black and is a woman.

River isn't always cooler than the Doctor, they take turns. And they rescue each other. And when the Doctor rescues River it's generally because she's whistled him up like a cab, so he's part of her plan.

I like it.

So, why, if these are to me the important parts of River Song, did I say I would write about A Good Man Goes to War?
... because there's Rory and nursing stuff in there that's easier to get at than anything Rory related elsewhere. Though I did just get four pages of notes out of rewatching Vampires of Venice when I only have that notepad to keep track of who screams for help, who rescues who, and what cool stuff does Amy get to do. Because again I picked a bad episode for Amy getting to do cool stuff.

River is older looking than the others except for when she's the same age or a baby. As identification strategies go this is afaik unique. She's a one person team TARDIS.

Team TARDIS has changed a lot since the beginning though. The different ages were meant to be three different age bands for three different segments of the audience, like grandparent, parent, child, but a teenager because of that children don't like younger children bit. The teenager kept getting older, the Doctor kept getting younger, and now instead of being someone's Grandfather he's usually being referred to as a parent, were you a dad, I could be your dad, no you look about nine, or calling him Uncle Doctor. They all got closer together. It's like there's only one interesting age now.

I want to fix it back to being lots of ages because I find people younger than me increasingly less interesting (sorry). Which is what the first inventing them people thought was true about audiences. So it's probably not just me.
Also it's depressing when only people younger than me get to have interesting stuff happen to them.

But you can tell more stories with more variety of people.

But they've managed to have the oldest, the couple in the middle, and the baby, while at the same time making everyone kind of the same, and making the baby also be the one who knows most and bosses everyone around.

... I think I've seen a diagram of that family in some self help books...

I need to turn my random meanderings into something worth handing in for a progression point, and I have a week to do it.
... I really, really miss that semester I was ill. I'd quite like that much extra time back now. But even then I'd be coming up on the first progression point and I'd still have a bunch of nothing so basically I'm just being a bit rubbish.

Also I forgot breakfast today and only turned my computer on to check the date for sell bys purposes so I'll go see to that now.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Today I got two whole hours of reading for college done, and have run out of printed and photocopied things to read. There's still a couple on the computer and these two library books and four books I own that I should have taken notes from by now, I'm not run out of work or anything, but I was quite pleased at progress. And I got the laundry done, a whole load of blacks, so I need to hang those up. I was also going to go back and do more work later but instead felt sick and went to have a lie down and now it's evening again. Since I woke up at 0530 and now again at 1730 I don't know what is up with my sleep.

I think District 9 made me feel ill. Also it was really boring. But either I coincidentally felt more nausea the longer I watched it or the shaky camera totally made me ill. I should have stopped watching but I was sulking about feeling ill and decided to ignore it until it went away. That never really works very well.

I've been reading a lot about women in science fiction. Read more... )

I need to go up to CCN library and put these books back. So I need to finish the books. Probably should have been reading and taking notes from them instead of just highlightering the photocopied stuff, but highlighter is easier. Though I keep running out. I end up with a big stack of pink highlighter I never use and just use up the yellow and orange. I should possibly just buy the yellow and orange then.

Also I need to go to the UEA library and have days up there. Or if it starts being open 24 hours again I could ignore the being nocturnal and go up overnight. That would be very long nights though, the last and first buses are like 12 hours apart, do I want 12 hours in the library in the dark? ... actually that sounds like fun, but possibly not very practical. I could probably always get a taxi back though.

I don't want to be nocturnal, it's annoying. I just keep on sleeping all day anyway.

Okay, more reading to do.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Once again I did an hour of studying before I found myself staring into space planning what college courses I'd get Tony Stark to pay for as I got qualifications suitable to plan a space colony.
I studied some more time after that in theory, but I think I managed like a paragraph in half an hour.
My brain is just not steerable.

then I ate vegetable noodles (very yum) and watched Babylon AD (WTF? deleted now.)

A lot of the random reading I grabbed about gender and science fiction just leaves me wondering which film they were watching. I mean, there's a lot about Star Wars and that original trilogy, and there's one essay based on the idea Leia isn't sexy Read more... )

If I could find one argument solid enough to apply to Doctor Who and then annoying enough to get in a proper argument with then I'd be golden, I could write lots if I could start like that. But mostly so far I'm discovering what Doctor Who is not. Doctor Who is not science fiction blockbuster movies, or action movies, or ... things that are not Doctor Who.

So I need to get the right books out now my brain is working again.

Can totally do that. Just as soon as things open again.


Dec. 18th, 2012 11:34 am
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Forgot to put the batteries back in my alarm clock. Instead, woke myself up discovering the exact angle at which putting weight on my left foot hurts.
It was fine all yesterday. I guess converse hi tops are useful like that. Nice supported foot. Today though, ow.
Which is true for a great many places today.
I think I'll be leaving slightly more than usual for the cleaner to do. Because all that bending stretching stuff right now... ow.

In other news, woke up thinking about A Good Man Goes to War, which is of the good because I'm supposed to be doing my dissertation on it.

It's not one about how being smart or tricksy gets the solution, it's a 'I get by with a little help from my friends'. Only some of those friends are former enemies. Read more... )


beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)

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