Jun. 4th, 2017

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Reality is full of Very Bad.

I wish people could all be okay
and politics just be talk and shouting and discuss all the time.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
So I was thinking about heaven and hell
and I think why I'm not sold on them as concepts is a lot of the essential bits are pretty much like now, only more judgey.

Like, heaven is a good place, and hell is outside and full of bad stuff happening.

My flat is pretty much a good place, full of all the eats I choose and entertainment I want etc, and outside is people making such noises I have to guess if police or ambulances are needed, and further away stuff that gets on the news that is Very Bad.

And it's miserable in here.

I mean, no bad is directly happening to me, but knowing there is bad is miserable.

So I am unconvinced that heaven can ever be a thing If there is hell, because how could the kind of people heaven is meant to be for put up with that? I mean I'm a bit of a useless human quite often, but I care enough that all that bad stuff happening to other people feels really bad. So how could heaven be for good people to, like, sit there forever, while anyone else burns?

Can't work that way.

Either it goes all Buffy in Heaven and feeds them fake news and is a basic lie, or there can't be a hell if we're going to build heaven.

So I reckon there's a lot of work to do to figure out how to either get everyone out of hell or make it stop sucking there.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
sometimes I think about how long it has been since humans could see further than line of sight. in generations, in evolutionary time, it's a blink.

And I think about the sheer number of humans we're surrounded with now. I mean, that's gone up so much in my lifetime, let alone across the last century or so. Humans are sincerely not used to this, to passing thousands of people, to knowing a tiny bit about seven billion.

So when I see something in the news and hear about bad things, I get so wound up, and it makes perfect sense. If that was happening close enough I could see it without a camera and had those kinds of numbers hurt in the era of tiny villages, that would be affecting like everyone I even knew. I mean if judging just by people I see regular or talk to, probably still would be.

Getting jumpy is pretty rational, if that's the size of things.

But the world has changed, and tech has changed, and scale is a whole new thing now.

So now I have to talk my jumpy system into the concept 'nothing to do with me' when it is really and sincerely not wired for it.

And it feels bad, because shouldn't we feel bad about bad things?

Except no, is not doing any good, actually.


My tiny small Sunday actually only included moving a few more things around on a few more shelves, doing a bit of cleaning, and reading some stuff. Nothing worth the stress. And my feelings, bad or otherwise, do absolutely nothing to the world outside my head, so I don't need to feel things about feeling them in the first place. So I shall feel calm, eventually, because only calm things are actually happening right here.

... but humans are not quite wired for this, and it all goes complicated.


beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)

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