Aug. 5th, 2017

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Today I read Blood Trail, the second Blood book by Huff.
Is good and I shall have thinky thoughts about it later
but first be very squicked about the whole
werewolf mating urges when in heat don't care if related.
I mean, the horror and murder and attempted skinning is one thing
but the actively avoided incest is just yuck.

... *sigh*

A lot of the book is about mating urges, dominance hierarchies, and where those get tangled, as well as the general urge to show off to establish better standing and deal with your feelings
some threads of that I would rather were left out.

Other thing book keeps circling is difference between law and justice.
Hypothesises that certain groups, gender, ethnic, class, religion, disability, and here supernatural species, will not be treated equally by the law, so seeking justice requires stepping outside the law and taking it into your own hands.
Which is pretty central to the PI thing.
And the cop boyfriend vampire boyfriend bit.

Problem is it depends on being all 'you know what people are like'
while being, you know, people
who are acting justly and fairly and as if rule of law should apply here.

It's like all the arguments anout false consciousness where of course we see through to objective truths but they need protecting from wrong thinking.

Seems like the thing where humans are advancing the argument about other humans kind of proves it's a wrong argument.

And the people that do treat x group wrongly are, in this case, people who were dicks anyway before they even knew.

And the solution, in this book individual extra judicial execution, is extra shit because (a) same number of murderers, just doing exactly what the other guys feared and (b) only so much as preserves fearful status quo for that one family of minority group.

Basically I'm just real tired of anything, ever, that says preserving the masquerade and staying in the closet is the solution. Sod that. Civil rights and systemic change is the only way to protect the next guy, and the next, and the next.

Supernatural pride parade or bust.

... but the book runs through its argument in a coherent fashion and I can get this counter argument to what the characters concluded straight from the textual behaviour of other characters, so, it's not like the book thinks it's simple. The protagonist's conclusions are not the whole story. Complex is good.

Just with bits where I'd rather it didn't go there.

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Today I have
not done much.

I sorted through a box of xmas things I haven't used for a couple of years because I suspected I was allergic to them. I am now pretty sure I'm allergic to them. So those can go away.

I also decided I'm never going to get around to reading the wolf books, and won't be using them for werewolfs anyway, and am unlikely to write rangers who would need to know. So. Out.

The four fold way isn't even in my catalog and I can't muster the interest to read enough to see what species of woo it is, so, out.

this is progress, just, boring and small.

I shelved the best of sf and f collection that I've been meaning to review. I've been carrying it back and forth between rooms for weeks, I'm apparently not reviewing it. There was some good stuff, like Naomi Novik, and there was some less good stuff, and I whall move on and read other things.

Today I have mostly been reading Blue Beetle / Booster Good and feeling sad, because canon didn't leave much room for them. But there has been more canon since the Bery Bad Thing, and then the whole Rebirth thing happened, and maybe I should buy more canon and maybe it wouldn't be miserable? But mostly the fic even with happy endings is making me miserable, so possibly not.

That's the problem with the real OTPs, either canon gives them a happy ending but it's an ending so you're sad, or everything is awful always, which, you know, is a problem.


Um, I might also be grinding my gears on that whole thing where I'm going to be (older) pretty soon and everyone I went to school with is (older) too and look how much I haven't even done. Like, time travel stories are bad for me yet I keep thinking on them. But my life pisses me off because I can't see the branch points. Just like one long line to here. And here is just... me. And that feels like a thing.

Eh, I'll feel better after my birthday, I always do, it's just a couple weeks before it get all... thing.

Also the bit where I have no plan, no friends, and definitely no superhero team
but that's fiiiiiiiiine.

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Sometimes it really freaks me out how many of my fictional heroes are younger than me now.
I mean not counting immortals, there's a whole lot of twenty something or even thirty something heroes, the sort I used to look up to and use the idea of to get me through the dark.
And now I kind of want to feed them and make sure they dress warm and just... go save the world before all that stuff can get to them.
Cause it shouldn't be the youngers job.
Except they're the grown ups with the competence, so, actually it is.

Freaks me out.

And like there's still Tony Stark or Phil Coulson or, depending on interpretation and era, Hawkeye and Batman and all sorts. If I count the Justice Society there's plenty of grandpa heroes. It's not that the map gets empty from here.

It's more that they're all, like, leaders. Pinnacle of a long career.

I don't really empathise with that part.

And it's ever harder to write myself into the story. I mean, there's plenty of me, if I count the olds who try and stop the hero by saying it's too dangerous, or suggesting there might be ethical issues with their approach, but there's not exactly a lot who are supposed to have a point.

I'm just reading a lot of JLI era fanfic right now and they're all so young
they don't only make me feel inspired, they make me feel guilty
and woefully under achieved.

I should go read a different set of stories. They exist. They even exist in arms reach.

It's just passage of time or lack thereof in comics worlds make everything super highlight the me being older thing.

... beats the alternative.


beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)

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