beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
I think mass media is really bad for our sense of agency.
Or, you know, not, if you're the kind of person who does anything other than watch TV
so I mean my. My sense of ever being able to get shit done. My sense of being listened to.

Because the humans through the black window do not listen. They never, ever listen. And they never so much as do what I would want them to. Or, okay, yes, sometimes, fairly often episode by episode, but season by season or in who gets to survive or in character arcs as a whole or just in whose story the box thinks it is? Never.

It feels like having the door slammed in my face so damn often.

So this is a lot why I don't start so many new shows or listen watch as much as I could. I know it's going to give me scraps and then take them away. Why even start?

And I just feel so disconnected from characters I used to care about whenever the story they're given takes them so far away from whatever I used to value about them. It's like getting dumped by my TV friends. Again.

And it's usually on really important things like the shows being sexist and racist and hollowing out stories of some groups to serve others.

Or sometimes it's like in comics where storytelling is cyclical, so on the one hand you know your heroes are only depowered for now, or only dead for a cycle, but on the other you mostly don't get redemption arcs that stick either. Villain is villain is villain, sooner or later, no matter what they do or why they do it. There's no way out.

And a lot of the stories just aren't asking the questions I do. Don't see the same ethical dilemmas. Actually believe that humanity is a thing you can lose and rights are for people in the right categories.

Or the stories that do ask are just... really depressing.

I don't know.

I don't know how I'd fix things.

Make everything more Star Trek? Not recent kabooms Star Trek, make friends with everyone Star Trek.

But it just really grindingly gets to me that it's not me as gets to fix anything anyway. I'm just sitting here being small. The TV never listens.

And my solution used to be that I would write the better things and then my version would be so clearly better all the ther stories would change to match, but somewhere along the way I got too depressed to actually believe I even could.

I also stopped writing fanfic at some point, and that's a whole genre for getting the TV to listen to us.

Probably should go back to fixing that.
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beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)

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