beccaelizabeth (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beccaelizabeth) wrote2015-07-24 04:14 pm
beccaelizabeth) wrote2015-07-24 04:14 pm
Entry tags:
- btvs,
- buffy,
- buffyverse,
- food
Pretty good eatings, and Buffy
I added a whole bunch of cheesly to the leftovers of yesterdays quorn mince and dolmio pasta sauce and pasta. Six slices cut up small, heat leftovers for 3 minutes then add cheesly then heat three more minutes and stir. Melty cheese redistributes pretty evenly through pasta sauce and quorn mince. And it all tastes much better. Which is the first time I can say that about anything I've done with cheesly, usually it requires melting to be edible at all, but this time it just tasted good. I shall have to do this more. Especially because using teh quorn mince and teh dolmio sauce means having very many meals of sort of bolognese. Many. All at once. So finding some way to make the leftovers taste better than the first day? Yaays.
Also watched more Buffy the Vampire Slayer, up to Doomed.
I like how Willow's magic misuse is treated this season. Applying the word magic addiction to it was a misstep in later seasons, but she definitely turns to magic to make herself feel better and avoid having to deal with actual reality. Also, she tried to curse Oz and Veruca and invoked some serious darkness, when all they'd done was shag. That's borderline evil right there, usually the people that do that are the ones Buffy et al fight. She stopped at the last minute and then Veruca tried to kill her, which on the one hand is the same narrative move as Ted turning out to be an evil robot, where the good guys are secretly justified in their bad actions, but on the other kind of makes what Veruca did understandable? I mean, they were ready to cut Amy's head off to protect Buffy, attacking evil Willow for casting curses would be the same thing. Mostly though it's the Ted thing, and once again, not cool. Moral complexity and making people live with their choices and consequences, much cooler. But then Willow continues on that badness and gets consequences repeatedly, so, kind of better eventually, just poorly executed.
The addiction arc made it more like physical drugs with a high. It should have been more like gambling, where it's just trying to do this one thing that will fix all previous mistakes. Willow tries to fix her problems with magic and then fix the problems magic causes with more magic. And despite being advised by people who know more than her ie Giles that she's not in the best space to do magic, and despite her closest friends pointing out that it does not tend to go great, she's all full speed ahead with doing more magic. She just pout sulks and accuses them of not liking her whenever they point out that maybe dark forces are, you know, dark? And difficult? And going wrong?
So then character arc, leads up to the offer to become a vengeance demon. She wants dark power? Here's the darkest. Plenty of power. Just sign up to cause suffering on purpose! And of course Willow isn't there, she doesn't cause suffering on purpose, nope, not her, that's the edge she keeps pulling back from. Indeed even later at her darkest she's more about ending suffering. But that isn't the only moral issue here. Like, her basic problem is she's calling on everyone to support her, but assuming she's the only one that can know best about what she should do. People disagreeing is reacted to like an attack. When really it's advice. Everyone can have their opinion. And supporting a friend's emotional stuff isn't the same as supporting how they deal with it. Like the time with the beer bottle. Magic is not beer, but if she'd responded to their magic interventions the way she did when it was beer, whole lot less pain all round.
I like the arc. I like that Willow is weirdly self centered and condescending. It's a reasonable development. It's like, she wants power because she feels she never had any, but when she gets enough power it can hurt people she still doesn't notice because it's only a tiny little thing, what, Willow hurt people, no, too small! She isn't updating her self image or taking into account things like emotional pain or really maturing much. So like when she hurt Oz by carrying on with Xander and she just kept trying to get Oz to react the way she wanted, this magic stuff is that same attitude with more spells. Even when she's trying to fix things it's because of her bad feelings not theirs. Very teenage.
Also in Pangs when she's trying to be all understanding about the vengeance spirit just because they're native american, that looks pretty pro vengeance. Like the 'justice demon' from later. So you can see why vengeance demon recruitment looked possible.
... I'm not keen on Pangs because it manages to have a whole story about native americans without actual alive native americans having a reaction. I'm pretty sure they still exist. And aren't trying to exterminate their oppressors. So the anti vengeance argument could be made by people who weren't guilty white people? That... that seems like a necessary thing.
On the other hand, 'a bear! you made a bear!' etc
it is pretty hilarious
just clunky and not about native americans at all at all, just people feeling guilty about having power.
they've got a vampire in their living room and never once compare it, either way up. not textually, obviously. Humans swept in and eliminated demons, by the mythology of the show. Demons were there first. But humans continue to kill demons, because demons continue to kill humans.
... I was going to say that's different than native americans now, but there's some stuff on tumblr about police shootings of indigenous people that's kind of disturbing, so I don't actually know.
Angel following Buffy around without talking was just plain creepy. I haven't been watching Angel this time around so it's even more creepy, there's no context, there's just random ex boyfriend hiding and grabbing people. I'm glad he's gone.
Spike returning and Riley being introduced as a love interest are kind of heavily paralleled. Also, Buffy and Riley meet cute pretty rapidly dissolves into trying to kick the shit out of each other, they just don't see each other clearly enough to know that. I have this theory that on the whole dating a hitting should not involve the same individuals. I know martial artists might complicate this theory, but I'm just going to draw a simple line and say it's not good.
... I have never, I think, believed that Buffy/Spike was healthy. They're so very very screwed up. But the way they're screwed up together makes interesting story and really helps Spike. Don't know about Buffy though.
The bit where Buffy's cursed to marry Spike though, the episode starts with her being all um about Riley because there's no pain so there's no fire. And then, Spike kisses. And the conclusion at the end is she's so over that bad boy thing. That, right there, would have been so helpful. But it doesn't last.
When Spike and Buffy are kissing and the curse wears off, the looks on their faces... it seems to me like Spike was waiting for a reaction before his reaction landed. Like, okay, surprised and ready to have a large feeling of SOMEthing, but until Buffy was all 'ew' I do believe there were entirely other reactions possible. He's always been obsessed with the Slayer, even when it was Dru trying to get him to pay attention, and Harm kicked him out because of it. Well, also the staking thing, as she should have. But I think right there in season 4 Spike would not have been averse to more kissing, if such had been Buffy's reaction. Which is fun.
Spike and Harm was so... he's just that abusive bastard who turns up when he's out of money and needs somewhere to crash. He's classic. Of course he loves you! Where's the drink? Ew.
Harmony kicking him out is yaayness.
Spike's low point in Doomed is :-(
Xander being entirely willing to help him commit suicide... I know Xander has a single and consistent opinion on vampires, I know that since he killed his friend in episode 1 he's decided vampires: a bad thing, and that they're pretty much not people, and on the whole should be staked. So he's consistent. I just... I can't be having with people who don't respond to suicide attempts with attempts to help them live.
I'm more creeped out by Xander on this rewatch than I ever have been before. It's like, he's supposed to be a normal guy? But he's kind of a bully, albeit one without the social standing to bully effectively, he's a jerk to his ex, following Cordelia around to insult her, even though he did then spend money on her I don't think that makes up for the poking her a lot in the first place, and sometimes I don't see what his good qualities are supposed to be. When he's the only one turning up to fight the good fight, sure, he looks good, but if there were others, as there should be in a reasonable worldbuild, then he's... not awesome.
If that's meant to be an ordinary guy then, well, Willow's new approach is looking good.
I like Giles though. He's not at his best this year, kind of flailing around trying to be supportive without the authority and daily involvement his teaching role used to give. But he doesn't suck the ways Xander does.
... using talking about demons and magic to be pretentious and pick up girls, on a level with saying he was in Pink Floyd, that's kind of hilarious and one hopes he grew out of that a while ago.
But the actress age makes that tricky? imdb says Phina Oruche, born 1972, so she's 18 years younger than Anthony Stewart Head and one hopes he wouldn't have been chatting her up until at least 1990, at which point she would be about the same age as Cordelia in season 3, giving a whole different spin to Giles telling Wesley to go for it with the 'you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone' line. If Giles trying to pick people up with the Pink Floyd line a mere 7 years before meeting Buffy, that... that seems awkward.
I think however we're meant to just take it as an example of Hollywood casting. The character is very probably meant to be older than the actress. Probably.
Also he may well have met her very recently, when she'd be well out of Awkward age, but the Pink Floyd line only gets worse.
:eyeroll:
'Like' is a shifty benchmark though. I like Ethan, but he'd be an absolutely terrible idea as anything but a fictional character.
... I ramble a lot, and it's very messy. Oh well.
Buffy and Riley: in Doomed they kind of break up, because secrets revealed, need space, and then Buffy is all you know what no. But Riley responds by following her around and telling her off? That seems wrong. And then he has that speech which has one good bit, about how we get by with a little help from our friends, but then also zooms off into telling Buffy she's stupid and she secretly likes sitting around in the dark being lonely, or whatever he phrased it as. And that was proper creepy. Like, she's decided she doesn't want a romantic relationship with him, that's a world of different from her actually being alone, let alone lonely. He's telling her how to run her life because she doesn't want to get smoochy with him? Ew.
Double Ew that the writers seem to agree with him.
Like, Buffy was being scared because relationships have gone wrong before, with death and badness. Riley kind of knows that, but then calls her stupid and says she must want it that way and her thoughts are what makes badness happen, and she's all you don't know me and ugh psych majors.
But then by the end of teh episode there's kissing again? And I can't see why.
Like, I can see why him literally catching her when she falls is a good and positive trait in a guy, and an excellent reason to team up and work together, but I don't see why things skip back to romance.
Also it seems unhelpful rather than romantic that they only got as far as kissing because they couldn't actually talk. Like, there's some ugly in there, because many many stories silence women and just make with the kissing. This was symmetrical silencing, but not actually a good thing.
Relationships in this show seem kind of creepy all over. I'm not voting for Riley as a good thing. Potentially, sure, but all the flaws were there from the get go. 'What are you' rather than who, focusing on her strength and speed to the exclusion of her personal qualities, this was stuff Buffy noticed and called him on. It wasn't stuff he fixed before there was kissing again. And all that bit about how their jobs are awesome and fun, where she says the last person who thought that was in a coma, that... doesn't seem fixed either. Issues with her strength and chasing excitement kind of persist and thread through to the breakup.
Breaking up then seems reasonable.
... possibly I'm anti relationships. Meh.
Breaking up with Giles just because demons are real is pretty stupid though, because demons are real everywhere, so just disappearing from around Giles doesn't help at all. Harms, rather, because now you can't see them from not having the knowing. But it's probably a comfortable sort of not seeing.
Willow in teh Wicca group is being kind of actively stupid. Like, maybe they're written very teenage college well meaning, but they're not the 'wanna-blessed-bes', Willow is. She's not a wiccan. It isn't a religion for her. She doesn't worship the Lord and Lady or any variation thereon. She calls on whatever dark powers will get stuff done, the darker the better, and dark means something very different in her invocations and theirs. She's diving into the morally dark, what with the curses and pain and vengeance motif. There's another dark that's more about night time and nature and the womb, a generative sort of under earth dark. That's not what Willow's paying attention to at all. So she goes to a religion group and gets bored of them for doing religion instead of spells? Willow's in the wrong there. Same mistake as when Amy was all 'Goddess Hecate work thy will' but kept trying to tell Hecate what she in fact willed. Nope, she's the Goddess, worship tends to involve doing what she wants, not giving orders. Rebound to make you a rat seems harsh, but, hellmouth. Treating all the powers, any of them, dark or otherwise, as if they're just there to follow orders? Missing a lot of points. And Willow treats them like software or something, just plug in the words and make stuff happen. There's no sense of living pagan pantheons waiting to have an ongoing relationship with their worshippers. For that matter, Willow has no time for relationships between worshippers. She doesn't seem to make friends at the Wicca group, or try to. She's contemptuous of them. Except for Tara, who, well, starts out thinking Willow is best, just like Willow thinks.
Tara is super sweet but Willow is not the world's best girlfriend there. Not awful initially, but if what they've got in common is thinking Willow and magic are great, Willow needs to work on that.
but again BtVS seems to think that saving your life equals great dating material, which, well, obviously there's some plus points there, but other stuff matters too?
I'm very much liking watching these, and when I get apparently sulky about their relationships and stuff it's in that way where you like watching the story but kind of want to talk to the characters before they do the thing again, only, well, it's repeats, they always do the thing again.
Only mostly though. Like, there's a lot of debate about the feminism of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I'm finding myself dissatisfied around the edges this time because women don't get to be strong and competent and confident. Like, confidence equals fail, that seems to be a sign they're going wrong. Powerful, burdened and apologetic, while spending a lot of time wondering why their love lives don't work, that seems more the thing. And then the guys are... not awesome, yet they live that equation where save the day means getting the girl. Or, well, girl gets the girl too, same way, save the day first. Only this time through I'm like, yeah, but. Because there's probably lots of people saving lots of days, and possibly they should be, like, not a bully? Not a stalker? Not following you after you say no? Not demonstrating they care primarily through beating things up? Especially that last.
But then I don't know exactly what I would want, or what precisely I mean, and it's mostly feeling grumbly around the edges.
I shall continue to watch more happily though.
Also watched more Buffy the Vampire Slayer, up to Doomed.
I like how Willow's magic misuse is treated this season. Applying the word magic addiction to it was a misstep in later seasons, but she definitely turns to magic to make herself feel better and avoid having to deal with actual reality. Also, she tried to curse Oz and Veruca and invoked some serious darkness, when all they'd done was shag. That's borderline evil right there, usually the people that do that are the ones Buffy et al fight. She stopped at the last minute and then Veruca tried to kill her, which on the one hand is the same narrative move as Ted turning out to be an evil robot, where the good guys are secretly justified in their bad actions, but on the other kind of makes what Veruca did understandable? I mean, they were ready to cut Amy's head off to protect Buffy, attacking evil Willow for casting curses would be the same thing. Mostly though it's the Ted thing, and once again, not cool. Moral complexity and making people live with their choices and consequences, much cooler. But then Willow continues on that badness and gets consequences repeatedly, so, kind of better eventually, just poorly executed.
The addiction arc made it more like physical drugs with a high. It should have been more like gambling, where it's just trying to do this one thing that will fix all previous mistakes. Willow tries to fix her problems with magic and then fix the problems magic causes with more magic. And despite being advised by people who know more than her ie Giles that she's not in the best space to do magic, and despite her closest friends pointing out that it does not tend to go great, she's all full speed ahead with doing more magic. She just pout sulks and accuses them of not liking her whenever they point out that maybe dark forces are, you know, dark? And difficult? And going wrong?
So then character arc, leads up to the offer to become a vengeance demon. She wants dark power? Here's the darkest. Plenty of power. Just sign up to cause suffering on purpose! And of course Willow isn't there, she doesn't cause suffering on purpose, nope, not her, that's the edge she keeps pulling back from. Indeed even later at her darkest she's more about ending suffering. But that isn't the only moral issue here. Like, her basic problem is she's calling on everyone to support her, but assuming she's the only one that can know best about what she should do. People disagreeing is reacted to like an attack. When really it's advice. Everyone can have their opinion. And supporting a friend's emotional stuff isn't the same as supporting how they deal with it. Like the time with the beer bottle. Magic is not beer, but if she'd responded to their magic interventions the way she did when it was beer, whole lot less pain all round.
I like the arc. I like that Willow is weirdly self centered and condescending. It's a reasonable development. It's like, she wants power because she feels she never had any, but when she gets enough power it can hurt people she still doesn't notice because it's only a tiny little thing, what, Willow hurt people, no, too small! She isn't updating her self image or taking into account things like emotional pain or really maturing much. So like when she hurt Oz by carrying on with Xander and she just kept trying to get Oz to react the way she wanted, this magic stuff is that same attitude with more spells. Even when she's trying to fix things it's because of her bad feelings not theirs. Very teenage.
Also in Pangs when she's trying to be all understanding about the vengeance spirit just because they're native american, that looks pretty pro vengeance. Like the 'justice demon' from later. So you can see why vengeance demon recruitment looked possible.
... I'm not keen on Pangs because it manages to have a whole story about native americans without actual alive native americans having a reaction. I'm pretty sure they still exist. And aren't trying to exterminate their oppressors. So the anti vengeance argument could be made by people who weren't guilty white people? That... that seems like a necessary thing.
On the other hand, 'a bear! you made a bear!' etc
it is pretty hilarious
just clunky and not about native americans at all at all, just people feeling guilty about having power.
they've got a vampire in their living room and never once compare it, either way up. not textually, obviously. Humans swept in and eliminated demons, by the mythology of the show. Demons were there first. But humans continue to kill demons, because demons continue to kill humans.
... I was going to say that's different than native americans now, but there's some stuff on tumblr about police shootings of indigenous people that's kind of disturbing, so I don't actually know.
Angel following Buffy around without talking was just plain creepy. I haven't been watching Angel this time around so it's even more creepy, there's no context, there's just random ex boyfriend hiding and grabbing people. I'm glad he's gone.
Spike returning and Riley being introduced as a love interest are kind of heavily paralleled. Also, Buffy and Riley meet cute pretty rapidly dissolves into trying to kick the shit out of each other, they just don't see each other clearly enough to know that. I have this theory that on the whole dating a hitting should not involve the same individuals. I know martial artists might complicate this theory, but I'm just going to draw a simple line and say it's not good.
... I have never, I think, believed that Buffy/Spike was healthy. They're so very very screwed up. But the way they're screwed up together makes interesting story and really helps Spike. Don't know about Buffy though.
The bit where Buffy's cursed to marry Spike though, the episode starts with her being all um about Riley because there's no pain so there's no fire. And then, Spike kisses. And the conclusion at the end is she's so over that bad boy thing. That, right there, would have been so helpful. But it doesn't last.
When Spike and Buffy are kissing and the curse wears off, the looks on their faces... it seems to me like Spike was waiting for a reaction before his reaction landed. Like, okay, surprised and ready to have a large feeling of SOMEthing, but until Buffy was all 'ew' I do believe there were entirely other reactions possible. He's always been obsessed with the Slayer, even when it was Dru trying to get him to pay attention, and Harm kicked him out because of it. Well, also the staking thing, as she should have. But I think right there in season 4 Spike would not have been averse to more kissing, if such had been Buffy's reaction. Which is fun.
Spike and Harm was so... he's just that abusive bastard who turns up when he's out of money and needs somewhere to crash. He's classic. Of course he loves you! Where's the drink? Ew.
Harmony kicking him out is yaayness.
Spike's low point in Doomed is :-(
Xander being entirely willing to help him commit suicide... I know Xander has a single and consistent opinion on vampires, I know that since he killed his friend in episode 1 he's decided vampires: a bad thing, and that they're pretty much not people, and on the whole should be staked. So he's consistent. I just... I can't be having with people who don't respond to suicide attempts with attempts to help them live.
I'm more creeped out by Xander on this rewatch than I ever have been before. It's like, he's supposed to be a normal guy? But he's kind of a bully, albeit one without the social standing to bully effectively, he's a jerk to his ex, following Cordelia around to insult her, even though he did then spend money on her I don't think that makes up for the poking her a lot in the first place, and sometimes I don't see what his good qualities are supposed to be. When he's the only one turning up to fight the good fight, sure, he looks good, but if there were others, as there should be in a reasonable worldbuild, then he's... not awesome.
If that's meant to be an ordinary guy then, well, Willow's new approach is looking good.
I like Giles though. He's not at his best this year, kind of flailing around trying to be supportive without the authority and daily involvement his teaching role used to give. But he doesn't suck the ways Xander does.
... using talking about demons and magic to be pretentious and pick up girls, on a level with saying he was in Pink Floyd, that's kind of hilarious and one hopes he grew out of that a while ago.
But the actress age makes that tricky? imdb says Phina Oruche, born 1972, so she's 18 years younger than Anthony Stewart Head and one hopes he wouldn't have been chatting her up until at least 1990, at which point she would be about the same age as Cordelia in season 3, giving a whole different spin to Giles telling Wesley to go for it with the 'you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone' line. If Giles trying to pick people up with the Pink Floyd line a mere 7 years before meeting Buffy, that... that seems awkward.
I think however we're meant to just take it as an example of Hollywood casting. The character is very probably meant to be older than the actress. Probably.
Also he may well have met her very recently, when she'd be well out of Awkward age, but the Pink Floyd line only gets worse.
:eyeroll:
'Like' is a shifty benchmark though. I like Ethan, but he'd be an absolutely terrible idea as anything but a fictional character.
... I ramble a lot, and it's very messy. Oh well.
Buffy and Riley: in Doomed they kind of break up, because secrets revealed, need space, and then Buffy is all you know what no. But Riley responds by following her around and telling her off? That seems wrong. And then he has that speech which has one good bit, about how we get by with a little help from our friends, but then also zooms off into telling Buffy she's stupid and she secretly likes sitting around in the dark being lonely, or whatever he phrased it as. And that was proper creepy. Like, she's decided she doesn't want a romantic relationship with him, that's a world of different from her actually being alone, let alone lonely. He's telling her how to run her life because she doesn't want to get smoochy with him? Ew.
Double Ew that the writers seem to agree with him.
Like, Buffy was being scared because relationships have gone wrong before, with death and badness. Riley kind of knows that, but then calls her stupid and says she must want it that way and her thoughts are what makes badness happen, and she's all you don't know me and ugh psych majors.
But then by the end of teh episode there's kissing again? And I can't see why.
Like, I can see why him literally catching her when she falls is a good and positive trait in a guy, and an excellent reason to team up and work together, but I don't see why things skip back to romance.
Also it seems unhelpful rather than romantic that they only got as far as kissing because they couldn't actually talk. Like, there's some ugly in there, because many many stories silence women and just make with the kissing. This was symmetrical silencing, but not actually a good thing.
Relationships in this show seem kind of creepy all over. I'm not voting for Riley as a good thing. Potentially, sure, but all the flaws were there from the get go. 'What are you' rather than who, focusing on her strength and speed to the exclusion of her personal qualities, this was stuff Buffy noticed and called him on. It wasn't stuff he fixed before there was kissing again. And all that bit about how their jobs are awesome and fun, where she says the last person who thought that was in a coma, that... doesn't seem fixed either. Issues with her strength and chasing excitement kind of persist and thread through to the breakup.
Breaking up then seems reasonable.
... possibly I'm anti relationships. Meh.
Breaking up with Giles just because demons are real is pretty stupid though, because demons are real everywhere, so just disappearing from around Giles doesn't help at all. Harms, rather, because now you can't see them from not having the knowing. But it's probably a comfortable sort of not seeing.
Willow in teh Wicca group is being kind of actively stupid. Like, maybe they're written very teenage college well meaning, but they're not the 'wanna-blessed-bes', Willow is. She's not a wiccan. It isn't a religion for her. She doesn't worship the Lord and Lady or any variation thereon. She calls on whatever dark powers will get stuff done, the darker the better, and dark means something very different in her invocations and theirs. She's diving into the morally dark, what with the curses and pain and vengeance motif. There's another dark that's more about night time and nature and the womb, a generative sort of under earth dark. That's not what Willow's paying attention to at all. So she goes to a religion group and gets bored of them for doing religion instead of spells? Willow's in the wrong there. Same mistake as when Amy was all 'Goddess Hecate work thy will' but kept trying to tell Hecate what she in fact willed. Nope, she's the Goddess, worship tends to involve doing what she wants, not giving orders. Rebound to make you a rat seems harsh, but, hellmouth. Treating all the powers, any of them, dark or otherwise, as if they're just there to follow orders? Missing a lot of points. And Willow treats them like software or something, just plug in the words and make stuff happen. There's no sense of living pagan pantheons waiting to have an ongoing relationship with their worshippers. For that matter, Willow has no time for relationships between worshippers. She doesn't seem to make friends at the Wicca group, or try to. She's contemptuous of them. Except for Tara, who, well, starts out thinking Willow is best, just like Willow thinks.
Tara is super sweet but Willow is not the world's best girlfriend there. Not awful initially, but if what they've got in common is thinking Willow and magic are great, Willow needs to work on that.
but again BtVS seems to think that saving your life equals great dating material, which, well, obviously there's some plus points there, but other stuff matters too?
I'm very much liking watching these, and when I get apparently sulky about their relationships and stuff it's in that way where you like watching the story but kind of want to talk to the characters before they do the thing again, only, well, it's repeats, they always do the thing again.
Only mostly though. Like, there's a lot of debate about the feminism of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I'm finding myself dissatisfied around the edges this time because women don't get to be strong and competent and confident. Like, confidence equals fail, that seems to be a sign they're going wrong. Powerful, burdened and apologetic, while spending a lot of time wondering why their love lives don't work, that seems more the thing. And then the guys are... not awesome, yet they live that equation where save the day means getting the girl. Or, well, girl gets the girl too, same way, save the day first. Only this time through I'm like, yeah, but. Because there's probably lots of people saving lots of days, and possibly they should be, like, not a bully? Not a stalker? Not following you after you say no? Not demonstrating they care primarily through beating things up? Especially that last.
But then I don't know exactly what I would want, or what precisely I mean, and it's mostly feeling grumbly around the edges.
I shall continue to watch more happily though.
no subject
no subject
I disagreed with the Wicca group. I'm working from memory here, but the leader came across as bossy and not supportive of the obviously shy Tara. A bunch of women talking without accomplishing anything. They could have been a book group and the dynamics wouldn't have changed.
(In fact I'm currently struggling through BBC's Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrel and the opening episode with a bunch of men declaiming the practice of magic, revering only that which is written down, seems analogous.)
That said, Willow was also wrong. It's always bothered me that there is no spiritual aspect to her magic. I have many complicated thoughts and feelings about it, but generally, if you're going to call on gods, do it with some understanding and respect. You can certainly work magic without calling on specific deities but on the universal life force (or however you want to describe it) but Willow does not do this. "treats them like software" is accurate. And in a show that is quite clear that the supernatural is real, that's not just disturbing it's potentially dangerous.
no subject
I think you took it seriously when it was just humor. Notice that in the same episode later, Xander risks his life in the old school avoiding falling rocks to save Spike who was stuck. I don't think Xander would have helped Spike kill himself if it was treated seriously.
he's a jerk to his ex, following Cordelia around to insult her, even though he did then spend money on her I don't think that makes up for the poking her a lot in the first place
I don't remember Xander following Cordelia around to insult her after the break up, Cordelia was the one doing the poking and insulting. Xander defends himself when she insults him and sometimes he just takes it, but he never started the insults after they broke up.
no subject
Xander literally followed Cordelia into a shop repeatedly in order to insult and antagonise her. that was eventually how he found out she worked there. he saw her through the window and went in to be rude to her.
Cordelia did indeed insult him a lot too, but Cordelia is definitely a bully in high school, in the mean girl way, and it's pointed out textually.
no subject
I don't know about this one. If Xander really wanted Spike dead, he wouldn't have saved him later in the same episode. The show is known for using humor even about serious matters, like Anya trying to get Xander's friends to wish him dead, which was so twisted and wrong, but was played for humor.
Xander literally followed Cordelia into a shop repeatedly in order to insult and antagonise her.
Just rewatched Choices, Xander going into the shop was a follow up to Cordelia's earlier insult in the same episode. In Choices, Xander was telling his friends about his summer road trip, and then Cordelia just cut in not only to insult Xander, but also to throw digs at his friends. When Xander sees her at the shop, he literally says, "I have a theory. Your snide remarks earlier? I'm guessing grapes a little on the sour side. "
If Cordelia hadn't started the whole thing in the beginning of the episode, I don't think Xander would have walked into the shop for a pay back.
I'll give you The Prom, though. He clearly went in there to mock Cordelia.