beccaelizabeth (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beccaelizabeth) wrote2017-04-24 04:17 pm
beccaelizabeth) wrote2017-04-24 04:17 pm
Entry tags:
Let's go steal a kingdom
Ugh, communication tasks day is the worst. I need assistance because phone but the people that usually help are not available. So then I just spin my wheels all day nearly but not quite getting anything done.
Today's dream was way better though. Me, Phil Coulson, and Leonard Snart. Who seem like they'd never get along but really Coulson would be perfectly pleasant while using him shamelessly, and Snart would wait for the double cross Coulson knows to expect, and it'd end up kind of like paying him to help but messier.
But. Dream. In a magic using fantasy world, where Snart was still a thief, but Coulson was some kind of cleric of Justice.
There was a kingdom that just lost its king, and a race for potential heirs to get to the throne and claim it. Only it was the kind of chaotic evil kingdom where a certain amount of wastage was expected at this stage of proceedings. Think Stardust, and all the princes offing each other. So we were down all the princes and the princess was missing, but there was this baby.
So I got this badass moment of awesome where I was alone in this village with a baby sling strapped in front, all the warm wrapped gloves and boots sticking out the sides, bouncing a bit and making shush shush noises. While surrounded by evil dudes who were there to simplify the family tree again. And I was outnumbered, and they had weapons, and I was standing there waiting for them anyway. Got to make a little speech. Live as though the world were as it should be, protect the innocent, do what you can. Sometimes this is the gig. And they're all laughing and expecting me to give up, and I just get more calm. And I realise I'm having a Paladin moment and feel a whole sparkly blessing mantle settle over me, which is frankly embarrassing, but at that point I'll take it. And Coulson turns up close enough to see this, and is appropriately impressed. Sometimes the job is the job and you've just got to do.
So the fight kicks off and I'm awesome, obviously, and everything is working out that possibly can, because paladin blessing, and still, I'm outnumbered all to hell, this is famous last stand time. Especially since it's not me they need to take out, it's the tiny bundle I'm guarding. But when they finally get through my guard, they get the straps, and the whole bundle just unravels.
No baby. Baby long gone.
What, you think I'd stand there in plain sight making speeches if I had someone to protect? Hell no. Sent the kid out of there with the rogues.
... and this is why you need a mixed alignment party.
So Coulson, in back and in range now, makes enough difference that the attackers can't be bothered to risk their necks just for a trick, and they run off, and suddenly I survived against really ridiculous odds.
I love that part.
But then later, we get to the throne room, and everyone is arguing about who even gets to try. Who knows who is really a descendent? But there's a magic stone for just exactly this purpose, and while everyone is arguing, and not incidentally blocking me and the baby from getting anywhere near it, I tell Len to go get his hands on it.
And as soon as he does it lights up like a shiny star, because guess what, as far as the magic is concerned, bastards count, and Len apparently is one. Or descends from one, on his mother's side.
And the look on his face is priceless, because oh hell no, except now it's all his and he doesn't walk away from what he's stolen. And the look on my face is smug, because I actually expected this. So Len sits on the throne as if he'd planned this all along, and everyone realises the guy in charge is now badass enough that their petty plots are just not going to cut it.
So we stole ourselves a kingdom.
And when the locals are all cleared out of the throne room Len glares at me, and I pretty much just hand him the baby, and remind him any time he wants to walk away the kid is right there to take over.
... and he can follow all the likely implications of that, and now he's scowling, but in that way that means he's going to ice anyone that ever puts a hand on this kid. And he swears up and down he's out of there as soon as the kid is of age. Because king, ugh.
So I stole a kingdom and a regent who can both do the job and leg it when job is done. I rule.
... well, I don't have to rule, that being the point here.
And Coulson, whose role here is pretty much to check we're all legit, is stymied, because he knows the legal descendents of the previous king and all the known bastards and this? This is unexpected.
So. First I show him what I've got in my pocket. Which is a stone that lights up when you say Lumos. And then Len shows him what he's still got in his pocket. Which is a stone that reacts to magic users, and doesn't even need the keyword. And then Coulson is still stuck, because we didn't actually *use* either of them. So I point out, the stone isn't looking for this generation's heir. The stone is looking for descendents of the line of King Baruch, the king that had it made. And really, what kind of guy needs a magic stone to tell him if his kids are his? And it's like a thousand years old. So that's like a thousand years of bastards and children of bastards. Really, at this point, it's a surprise when you pick it up and *aren't* descended from a king.
So now Coulson feels conflicted, because he likes the outcome, but the process isn't strictly lawful.
... told you, not a paladin, embarrassing to play one...
But we tell him, tell the story. Tell it loudly. Tell everyone.
Because, we just changed the game.
And in a country famous for its thieves, one of the most famous thieves in the world just stole the throne.
The people are going to love that.
The nobility won't, but the nobility just thinned their own ranks pretty thoroughly. They're not the biggest power right now.
And if anyone, or a really large slice of them, can pass the stone test, the old cold way of deciding by elimination simply won't work any more. It was one thing when it meant a handful of nobles killing each other off, but if they're going to bring that kind of thing out to the commoners, the commons are going to start caring. And they're not about to stand for it.
And if a commoner can pass the test and gain all the magic backed power of the throne, well then, they're all going to want to try it. And it'll be like every other struggle for power.
And, basically, how does Coulson feel about this thing known as democracy?
So I woke up feeling smugly badass, I can tell you, stealing a kingdom, putting my guy on the throne to protect the baby heir, and in so doing starting the dismantling of monarchy as a corrupt system.
Epic.
And then back in real life I'm stuck on the day's tasks because if I pick up the phone I'll just stutter and fail at making sense in English.
So, you know, the dream was a teensy bit better.
Today's dream was way better though. Me, Phil Coulson, and Leonard Snart. Who seem like they'd never get along but really Coulson would be perfectly pleasant while using him shamelessly, and Snart would wait for the double cross Coulson knows to expect, and it'd end up kind of like paying him to help but messier.
But. Dream. In a magic using fantasy world, where Snart was still a thief, but Coulson was some kind of cleric of Justice.
There was a kingdom that just lost its king, and a race for potential heirs to get to the throne and claim it. Only it was the kind of chaotic evil kingdom where a certain amount of wastage was expected at this stage of proceedings. Think Stardust, and all the princes offing each other. So we were down all the princes and the princess was missing, but there was this baby.
So I got this badass moment of awesome where I was alone in this village with a baby sling strapped in front, all the warm wrapped gloves and boots sticking out the sides, bouncing a bit and making shush shush noises. While surrounded by evil dudes who were there to simplify the family tree again. And I was outnumbered, and they had weapons, and I was standing there waiting for them anyway. Got to make a little speech. Live as though the world were as it should be, protect the innocent, do what you can. Sometimes this is the gig. And they're all laughing and expecting me to give up, and I just get more calm. And I realise I'm having a Paladin moment and feel a whole sparkly blessing mantle settle over me, which is frankly embarrassing, but at that point I'll take it. And Coulson turns up close enough to see this, and is appropriately impressed. Sometimes the job is the job and you've just got to do.
So the fight kicks off and I'm awesome, obviously, and everything is working out that possibly can, because paladin blessing, and still, I'm outnumbered all to hell, this is famous last stand time. Especially since it's not me they need to take out, it's the tiny bundle I'm guarding. But when they finally get through my guard, they get the straps, and the whole bundle just unravels.
No baby. Baby long gone.
What, you think I'd stand there in plain sight making speeches if I had someone to protect? Hell no. Sent the kid out of there with the rogues.
... and this is why you need a mixed alignment party.
So Coulson, in back and in range now, makes enough difference that the attackers can't be bothered to risk their necks just for a trick, and they run off, and suddenly I survived against really ridiculous odds.
I love that part.
But then later, we get to the throne room, and everyone is arguing about who even gets to try. Who knows who is really a descendent? But there's a magic stone for just exactly this purpose, and while everyone is arguing, and not incidentally blocking me and the baby from getting anywhere near it, I tell Len to go get his hands on it.
And as soon as he does it lights up like a shiny star, because guess what, as far as the magic is concerned, bastards count, and Len apparently is one. Or descends from one, on his mother's side.
And the look on his face is priceless, because oh hell no, except now it's all his and he doesn't walk away from what he's stolen. And the look on my face is smug, because I actually expected this. So Len sits on the throne as if he'd planned this all along, and everyone realises the guy in charge is now badass enough that their petty plots are just not going to cut it.
So we stole ourselves a kingdom.
And when the locals are all cleared out of the throne room Len glares at me, and I pretty much just hand him the baby, and remind him any time he wants to walk away the kid is right there to take over.
... and he can follow all the likely implications of that, and now he's scowling, but in that way that means he's going to ice anyone that ever puts a hand on this kid. And he swears up and down he's out of there as soon as the kid is of age. Because king, ugh.
So I stole a kingdom and a regent who can both do the job and leg it when job is done. I rule.
... well, I don't have to rule, that being the point here.
And Coulson, whose role here is pretty much to check we're all legit, is stymied, because he knows the legal descendents of the previous king and all the known bastards and this? This is unexpected.
So. First I show him what I've got in my pocket. Which is a stone that lights up when you say Lumos. And then Len shows him what he's still got in his pocket. Which is a stone that reacts to magic users, and doesn't even need the keyword. And then Coulson is still stuck, because we didn't actually *use* either of them. So I point out, the stone isn't looking for this generation's heir. The stone is looking for descendents of the line of King Baruch, the king that had it made. And really, what kind of guy needs a magic stone to tell him if his kids are his? And it's like a thousand years old. So that's like a thousand years of bastards and children of bastards. Really, at this point, it's a surprise when you pick it up and *aren't* descended from a king.
So now Coulson feels conflicted, because he likes the outcome, but the process isn't strictly lawful.
... told you, not a paladin, embarrassing to play one...
But we tell him, tell the story. Tell it loudly. Tell everyone.
Because, we just changed the game.
And in a country famous for its thieves, one of the most famous thieves in the world just stole the throne.
The people are going to love that.
The nobility won't, but the nobility just thinned their own ranks pretty thoroughly. They're not the biggest power right now.
And if anyone, or a really large slice of them, can pass the stone test, the old cold way of deciding by elimination simply won't work any more. It was one thing when it meant a handful of nobles killing each other off, but if they're going to bring that kind of thing out to the commoners, the commons are going to start caring. And they're not about to stand for it.
And if a commoner can pass the test and gain all the magic backed power of the throne, well then, they're all going to want to try it. And it'll be like every other struggle for power.
And, basically, how does Coulson feel about this thing known as democracy?
So I woke up feeling smugly badass, I can tell you, stealing a kingdom, putting my guy on the throne to protect the baby heir, and in so doing starting the dismantling of monarchy as a corrupt system.
Epic.
And then back in real life I'm stuck on the day's tasks because if I pick up the phone I'll just stutter and fail at making sense in English.
So, you know, the dream was a teensy bit better.