beccaelizabeth (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beccaelizabeth) wrote2014-11-16 03:35 am
beccaelizabeth) wrote2014-11-16 03:35 am
Entry tags:
Coulson and why the OTP still works
It's interesting what fanfic does and doesn't soak up. Clint/Coulson came out of pretty much nothing and is still going strong, but it's mostly ignoring Agents of SHIELD. When it does acknowledge AoS there is a really obvious big problem in suggesting any outside relationship for Coulson is super important. Mostly fic just has 'Fury made me do it' and a lot of anger and apologies. But it has reached the point where I'm wanting to talk back at it, because there is in fact logic much stronger than that, and clearly the internet needs to know.
So, basic Agents of SHIELD spoilers:
Coulson has known since very early on that there is something up with him. Forgetting how to clear a gun, that was a biggie, from his point of view. Memory gaps. Enough of a feeling of disquiet he kept testing himself. Coulson knew something about himself was wrong, and he didn't know how.
But season 1 Coulson was very much about 'trust the system'. And, also, Tahiti was a magical place. As he learned how programmed in the latter was, he probably started wondering about the former.
But he's a company man, has been his whole life. One detail I've never seen ported into Clint/Coulson fic is that Coulson went to SHIELD at Skye's age, that is, pretty much straight out of high school. Usually fic goes with the military background from 616, and Nick in MCU as Marcus from 616, but there's zero evidence for that and a lot from actor ages and stated backstory where Fury was the guy recruiting him that say they weren't the near-equals from 616. If MCU Fury turns out to have a son called Marcus who is a Ranger and about Phil's age, that I'd buy, and Coulson zigged instead of zagged in the MCU. Or, obviously, it's Ultimates canon they were drawing on. (I've likewise never seen fic Clint draw on Ultimates Clint, but have a sinking suspicion the MCU may.) Anyways, AoS Coulson has been SHIELD since forever, and when he starts questioning that, he's questioning his core identity.
It kind of winds me up when characters get miffed because things they were doing all along turn out to have been done to them, but that is how Coulson reacts. He gets really, really, wound up about it.
And we see who he contacts, and actually why half of SHIELD thought he was HYDRA: half the people he trusted most and called on turned out to be HYDRA (and the other half tried to kill him). So, bit of a big problem there.
But he didn't, that we saw, call on Clint. Which is where making them OTP in AoS starts to break down.
But
Coulson doesn't trust himself. And things fall apart fast when they start to fall. He suspects May before he knows about HYDRA. And then she turns out to have been watching him on Fury's orders all along.
So, before Coulson completely abandons Fury's orders, maybe he hasn't told the Avengers he's alive. And maybe he doesn't know who else is keeping Fury's secrets on this. It's plausible Natasha would know anything and everything, so he might think she's among those hiding things from him. He knows Hill is. But he further knows that going outside SHIELD proper, for instance asking Stark if he can find files by hacking again, is burning bridges. Until things go boom, he doesn't break with SHIELD that much.
And then boom, and HYDRA, and everything falls apart. And he learns enough to know that May was there to shoot him if he went that wrong. And to know that he himself, once upon a time in possession of all the facts, thought TAHITI was too dangerous to ever try again. And by 2-04 he's giving May the same orders. He has come to believe he should be shot in the head, if he goes that far wrong.
I disagree with him strenuously, but, that's how he's thinking.
So say Clint is the most important, most beloved, person. OTP, always and forever, all that good stuff.
Initially they have their orders, reinforced with magical place, so he waits.
Then he starts to doubt himself. He starts to doubt that the man Clint loves is actually back. So maybe he waits some more.
And now? He thinks he's going to need to be killed in the near future. He thinks he's going to lose his mind, slowly and messily, in a way that will put others in danger, until the only safe ending is a bullet.
He's not going to invite his beloved to come and see that.
Not just for his sake, either. If Hawkeye decides to keep him alive, that's going to be a hell of a mess, and people he can't spare will be lost if they won't back down.
(I think May would call bullshit and team up with Hawkeye to save Phil from himself, but only the writers know.)
If Clint would fight for Coulson, in that very personal way, he's the last person Coulson can recruit right now. Same reason he wouldn't have done as a sniper on May's team. If Coulson is personally important to someone, that person can't be around him while he thinks he's going wrong.
Of course I can't see how all this fits together with him being Director, when they know he's compromised so badly. But so Fury and the writers hath decreed.
Still.
The longer this goes on, the more a reunion story is about picking up the tatters and rebuilding from scratch. It's miserable. But it's plausible.
at least imho
of course it may not be a set of themes fic writers want to explore. you've got some neat parallels in there, the whole people messed with our brains and now maybe we're not who we are problem. but that's an odd start point, or odder middle, for True Love.
Clint/Coulson fic, even in AUs, seem to be a lot about Coulson looking after Clint, getting him what he needs materially, being the first person to trust him and listen to him and support him and so forth. Mostly if there's SHIELD or Avengers to work with then there's big scary boss Fury who thinks only of the mission and the world, and there's tiny little assets who he'll spend messy if he has to, and in the middle there's brave quiet Coulson with his forms sticking up for his people and telling Fury what he needs to notice. It's a nice shape.
... it often seems to swap out Fury from his trusted mentor canonical role, and ignore how much shit Fury is fighting with the WSC in canon, but still, it's about trust and friendship developing at work, it's nice.
And it's another reason the fic doesn't follow AoS in to the new setup. Coulson is the scary boss with all the secrets now. He's not the friend you can share stuff with. He's the guy giving orders and keeping you in the dark. Which, logically, always true anyway, but fic doesn't like that part.
It could be like identity porn fics without the name changing, how can you sustain a relationship with all them secrets. But that hasn't been a thing in C/C yet.
Plus fic isn't all that great at complex webs of relationships, making people OTP seems to simple it down, so having so many characters in AoS might be a thing. But then there's the Everyone's Poly Because Avengers tag, which is not so much with the simples. Or, actually, with the following through on how different people relate to each other differently, except with sex.
My thoughts have all trailed off.
But my point is, Coulson has some seriously complex shit going on, at least as angst filled as post-Loki and getting up there with post-Winter-Soldier. SHIELD messed with his brain, and now the writing is on the wall and he don't know what it means. Not telling people he's alive isn't just him being mean, it's part of how he's reacting to all that. As I think is how he's reacting against Fitz, because brain changes are what he's scared of himself so he's maybe not at his best seeing it in others. So even if he can be 100% sure that HYDRA never got to and reprogrammed his best beloveds (and he can't, especially if we're talking Clint and spending a lot of time with SHIELD psych right after Loki, because SHIELD turned out to be HYDRA and reprograms their favourite people)... I got lost in that sentence... EVEN if he can be 100% sure Clint is loyal, he's still got to deal with someone who has had their brain messed with, could easily react very poorly to knowing Phil's brain is messed with in an ongoing way, and whose past is going to be a constant reminder of how bad this could get. They'd like to trust each other, but they know better, right? And Clint, the observant one, would notice all the things. And this isn't a time in Phil's life where being seen and known is going to be reassuring, or, possibly, survivable.
So just being all pouty that secret agents have secrets is the generic way to approach them meeting again, and it's boring and doesn't fit.
It's four in teh morning and I'm not sure how much of that made sense in English. Or who would want to read it. But hey, OTP thoughts.
So, basic Agents of SHIELD spoilers:
Coulson has known since very early on that there is something up with him. Forgetting how to clear a gun, that was a biggie, from his point of view. Memory gaps. Enough of a feeling of disquiet he kept testing himself. Coulson knew something about himself was wrong, and he didn't know how.
But season 1 Coulson was very much about 'trust the system'. And, also, Tahiti was a magical place. As he learned how programmed in the latter was, he probably started wondering about the former.
But he's a company man, has been his whole life. One detail I've never seen ported into Clint/Coulson fic is that Coulson went to SHIELD at Skye's age, that is, pretty much straight out of high school. Usually fic goes with the military background from 616, and Nick in MCU as Marcus from 616, but there's zero evidence for that and a lot from actor ages and stated backstory where Fury was the guy recruiting him that say they weren't the near-equals from 616. If MCU Fury turns out to have a son called Marcus who is a Ranger and about Phil's age, that I'd buy, and Coulson zigged instead of zagged in the MCU. Or, obviously, it's Ultimates canon they were drawing on. (I've likewise never seen fic Clint draw on Ultimates Clint, but have a sinking suspicion the MCU may.) Anyways, AoS Coulson has been SHIELD since forever, and when he starts questioning that, he's questioning his core identity.
It kind of winds me up when characters get miffed because things they were doing all along turn out to have been done to them, but that is how Coulson reacts. He gets really, really, wound up about it.
And we see who he contacts, and actually why half of SHIELD thought he was HYDRA: half the people he trusted most and called on turned out to be HYDRA (and the other half tried to kill him). So, bit of a big problem there.
But he didn't, that we saw, call on Clint. Which is where making them OTP in AoS starts to break down.
But
Coulson doesn't trust himself. And things fall apart fast when they start to fall. He suspects May before he knows about HYDRA. And then she turns out to have been watching him on Fury's orders all along.
So, before Coulson completely abandons Fury's orders, maybe he hasn't told the Avengers he's alive. And maybe he doesn't know who else is keeping Fury's secrets on this. It's plausible Natasha would know anything and everything, so he might think she's among those hiding things from him. He knows Hill is. But he further knows that going outside SHIELD proper, for instance asking Stark if he can find files by hacking again, is burning bridges. Until things go boom, he doesn't break with SHIELD that much.
And then boom, and HYDRA, and everything falls apart. And he learns enough to know that May was there to shoot him if he went that wrong. And to know that he himself, once upon a time in possession of all the facts, thought TAHITI was too dangerous to ever try again. And by 2-04 he's giving May the same orders. He has come to believe he should be shot in the head, if he goes that far wrong.
I disagree with him strenuously, but, that's how he's thinking.
So say Clint is the most important, most beloved, person. OTP, always and forever, all that good stuff.
Initially they have their orders, reinforced with magical place, so he waits.
Then he starts to doubt himself. He starts to doubt that the man Clint loves is actually back. So maybe he waits some more.
And now? He thinks he's going to need to be killed in the near future. He thinks he's going to lose his mind, slowly and messily, in a way that will put others in danger, until the only safe ending is a bullet.
He's not going to invite his beloved to come and see that.
Not just for his sake, either. If Hawkeye decides to keep him alive, that's going to be a hell of a mess, and people he can't spare will be lost if they won't back down.
(I think May would call bullshit and team up with Hawkeye to save Phil from himself, but only the writers know.)
If Clint would fight for Coulson, in that very personal way, he's the last person Coulson can recruit right now. Same reason he wouldn't have done as a sniper on May's team. If Coulson is personally important to someone, that person can't be around him while he thinks he's going wrong.
Of course I can't see how all this fits together with him being Director, when they know he's compromised so badly. But so Fury and the writers hath decreed.
Still.
The longer this goes on, the more a reunion story is about picking up the tatters and rebuilding from scratch. It's miserable. But it's plausible.
at least imho
of course it may not be a set of themes fic writers want to explore. you've got some neat parallels in there, the whole people messed with our brains and now maybe we're not who we are problem. but that's an odd start point, or odder middle, for True Love.
Clint/Coulson fic, even in AUs, seem to be a lot about Coulson looking after Clint, getting him what he needs materially, being the first person to trust him and listen to him and support him and so forth. Mostly if there's SHIELD or Avengers to work with then there's big scary boss Fury who thinks only of the mission and the world, and there's tiny little assets who he'll spend messy if he has to, and in the middle there's brave quiet Coulson with his forms sticking up for his people and telling Fury what he needs to notice. It's a nice shape.
... it often seems to swap out Fury from his trusted mentor canonical role, and ignore how much shit Fury is fighting with the WSC in canon, but still, it's about trust and friendship developing at work, it's nice.
And it's another reason the fic doesn't follow AoS in to the new setup. Coulson is the scary boss with all the secrets now. He's not the friend you can share stuff with. He's the guy giving orders and keeping you in the dark. Which, logically, always true anyway, but fic doesn't like that part.
It could be like identity porn fics without the name changing, how can you sustain a relationship with all them secrets. But that hasn't been a thing in C/C yet.
Plus fic isn't all that great at complex webs of relationships, making people OTP seems to simple it down, so having so many characters in AoS might be a thing. But then there's the Everyone's Poly Because Avengers tag, which is not so much with the simples. Or, actually, with the following through on how different people relate to each other differently, except with sex.
My thoughts have all trailed off.
But my point is, Coulson has some seriously complex shit going on, at least as angst filled as post-Loki and getting up there with post-Winter-Soldier. SHIELD messed with his brain, and now the writing is on the wall and he don't know what it means. Not telling people he's alive isn't just him being mean, it's part of how he's reacting to all that. As I think is how he's reacting against Fitz, because brain changes are what he's scared of himself so he's maybe not at his best seeing it in others. So even if he can be 100% sure that HYDRA never got to and reprogrammed his best beloveds (and he can't, especially if we're talking Clint and spending a lot of time with SHIELD psych right after Loki, because SHIELD turned out to be HYDRA and reprograms their favourite people)... I got lost in that sentence... EVEN if he can be 100% sure Clint is loyal, he's still got to deal with someone who has had their brain messed with, could easily react very poorly to knowing Phil's brain is messed with in an ongoing way, and whose past is going to be a constant reminder of how bad this could get. They'd like to trust each other, but they know better, right? And Clint, the observant one, would notice all the things. And this isn't a time in Phil's life where being seen and known is going to be reassuring, or, possibly, survivable.
So just being all pouty that secret agents have secrets is the generic way to approach them meeting again, and it's boring and doesn't fit.
It's four in teh morning and I'm not sure how much of that made sense in English. Or who would want to read it. But hey, OTP thoughts.
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