writing remains tricky
Aug. 26th, 2009 12:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccaelizabethsomeone who read my script has commented on it! Yaays!
They said they don't like disaster movie in space but they were interested in the characters.
... I had not noticed I was writing a disaster movie in space. Now I feel dumb. Yet enlightened.
Also they pointed out nobody dies. In my head people died. But on the page apparently I forgot to mention that.
I should probably put more people with names in there so they can die horribly at appropriate intervals. If it's a disaster movie. Somebody has to do something stupid and die of it. Or just refuse to go with the group and die of it. Or be standing in the wrong place and die of it.
... I'm too nice to redshirts to do proper disaster movie...
Also I was trying to invent 9 regular characters all at once. I hate to think what adding more people would do to my page count.
Maybe I'll just write a nice disaster movie where everyone survives the first episode.
Also a slight problem: Things I meant to show up as Clues are showing up as Bad SF. Like control systems and ship design and stuff.
Okay, so, if it's meant to be a rubbish ship, someone in a position to notice needs to point out that it's a rubbish ship. I need to use Tor more. He already said once he likes his ship better. If he says a couple more things like that then it'll be apparent it's not just me being rubbish, it's the ship. This might necessitate not making him knocked out for most of the story. That'll take some juggling. Maybe if I get it really compact he can complain about the ship all in a couple of lines in one of the conversations he already has.
This first reader reckons that the script is PG rated. Yaays. Was aiming at that. But he also reckons that mention of racism suggests I'm aiming for an older audience. Um, why? Does racism not happen to kids? Is nobody racist at 6pm, or on Star Trek? Hmmm.
And does adult really necessarily mean using swears? I don't use swears much.
Shakespeare style elaborate rudes are much more fun anyway.
Writing still complicated. But much less depressing now somebody has read it to the end and said so.
They said they don't like disaster movie in space but they were interested in the characters.
... I had not noticed I was writing a disaster movie in space. Now I feel dumb. Yet enlightened.
Also they pointed out nobody dies. In my head people died. But on the page apparently I forgot to mention that.
I should probably put more people with names in there so they can die horribly at appropriate intervals. If it's a disaster movie. Somebody has to do something stupid and die of it. Or just refuse to go with the group and die of it. Or be standing in the wrong place and die of it.
... I'm too nice to redshirts to do proper disaster movie...
Also I was trying to invent 9 regular characters all at once. I hate to think what adding more people would do to my page count.
Maybe I'll just write a nice disaster movie where everyone survives the first episode.
Also a slight problem: Things I meant to show up as Clues are showing up as Bad SF. Like control systems and ship design and stuff.
Okay, so, if it's meant to be a rubbish ship, someone in a position to notice needs to point out that it's a rubbish ship. I need to use Tor more. He already said once he likes his ship better. If he says a couple more things like that then it'll be apparent it's not just me being rubbish, it's the ship. This might necessitate not making him knocked out for most of the story. That'll take some juggling. Maybe if I get it really compact he can complain about the ship all in a couple of lines in one of the conversations he already has.
This first reader reckons that the script is PG rated. Yaays. Was aiming at that. But he also reckons that mention of racism suggests I'm aiming for an older audience. Um, why? Does racism not happen to kids? Is nobody racist at 6pm, or on Star Trek? Hmmm.
And does adult really necessarily mean using swears? I don't use swears much.
Shakespeare style elaborate rudes are much more fun anyway.
Writing still complicated. But much less depressing now somebody has read it to the end and said so.