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Apr. 27th, 2007
This one is hard to type up - we did a mini play in front of the class. I did tech support, ie changing the backgrounds I had designed on the PowerPoint presentation as a backdrop, also doing the type up of the script. I did the backdrops fine but mildly screwed up the script by failing to make it clear that the opening 'stage directions' were always intended to be the opening backdrop, so the audience would be told what the characters look like, rather than the actors trying to dress like that. It was a whole Brecht thing that teach quite liked in practice but I forgot to write down clearly.
I contributed to the group work when we did discussing what the piece should be about. It wasn't all my idea but I asked questions and made answers like you're supposed to. The aim of the piece was to take the 4 texts we were studying - Great Expectations, Beloved, and the plays A Doll's House by Ibsen and Top Girls by Caryl Churchill - and make a new text that demonstrated how much we understood about them and the theory stuff we'd done in class. Then once we'd done the presentation teach asked us questions about it that I rather figured were part of the assessment, so I didn't repeat those answers when I wrote up the commentary. But teach wrote in that she preferred the other explanation on one bit, so maybe I should have repeated myself, because I meant it as well not instead.
The word limit was 600 words plus or minus ten percent. My word count was 660 words. Teach wrote at the end "A little short - I would have liked more." I'd rather like to know how.
I supposed I should probably go and ask.
Anyways, the commentary which makes no sense without the live bits.
... urgh, now I can't figure out which of two drafts was the one I handed in. Bother it. Probably this one. There's only 5 words difference.
This teach wrote in the margins a lot. Useful things like "give the full references for the editions of all texts used when you first mention the texts in your essay". "Use the present tense." And my favourite - "Good point - expand?"
I'd have loved to expand. I can always make more words. But to get it in under wordcount I squished out little words like 'my' and 'which is' and 'we', all of which got put back in by teach with helpful arrows. But I stayed under the word limit, so I don't know which is the more important bit.
(be adds - the brick thing requires some explanation. I put the graphics up on LJ so I could grab them from school - there was a shopping basket which sometimes had a brick in it and sometimes turned into a gate opening out into a big wide bluescreen.
... you know, I'm not sure that'll make much sense even if I do explain it. There was a whole hell-in-a-handbasket thing, and in the text the brick is nearly a murder weapon so it represents homicidal ideation, and it was suggested the character would end up stacking shelves at Tescos so the cagelike basket was the prison of her apparent fate, and the gate with the bluescreen was opening out into a wider world... to be made up later, cause you know, anything could go there, but it would be kind of imaginary.)
(Is it odd I can remember all that stuff still?)
Actually quite a few of those words are guesses, I'd have to ask teach what most of that handwriting meant.
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I contributed to the group work when we did discussing what the piece should be about. It wasn't all my idea but I asked questions and made answers like you're supposed to. The aim of the piece was to take the 4 texts we were studying - Great Expectations, Beloved, and the plays A Doll's House by Ibsen and Top Girls by Caryl Churchill - and make a new text that demonstrated how much we understood about them and the theory stuff we'd done in class. Then once we'd done the presentation teach asked us questions about it that I rather figured were part of the assessment, so I didn't repeat those answers when I wrote up the commentary. But teach wrote in that she preferred the other explanation on one bit, so maybe I should have repeated myself, because I meant it as well not instead.
The word limit was 600 words plus or minus ten percent. My word count was 660 words. Teach wrote at the end "A little short - I would have liked more." I'd rather like to know how.
I supposed I should probably go and ask.
Anyways, the commentary which makes no sense without the live bits.
... urgh, now I can't figure out which of two drafts was the one I handed in. Bother it. Probably this one. There's only 5 words difference.
( Commentary )
This teach wrote in the margins a lot. Useful things like "give the full references for the editions of all texts used when you first mention the texts in your essay". "Use the present tense." And my favourite - "Good point - expand?"
I'd have loved to expand. I can always make more words. But to get it in under wordcount I squished out little words like 'my' and 'which is' and 'we', all of which got put back in by teach with helpful arrows. But I stayed under the word limit, so I don't know which is the more important bit.
(be adds - the brick thing requires some explanation. I put the graphics up on LJ so I could grab them from school - there was a shopping basket which sometimes had a brick in it and sometimes turned into a gate opening out into a big wide bluescreen.
... you know, I'm not sure that'll make much sense even if I do explain it. There was a whole hell-in-a-handbasket thing, and in the text the brick is nearly a murder weapon so it represents homicidal ideation, and it was suggested the character would end up stacking shelves at Tescos so the cagelike basket was the prison of her apparent fate, and the gate with the bluescreen was opening out into a wider world... to be made up later, cause you know, anything could go there, but it would be kind of imaginary.)
(Is it odd I can remember all that stuff still?)
Actually quite a few of those words are guesses, I'd have to ask teach what most of that handwriting meant.
69%
Again there's lots of helpful stuff in the margins, filling in all the words I took out to make it smaller, and sometimes "same paragraph" because apparently I haven't got the hang of how academic paragraphs work. Is some nice helpful marking.
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Torchwood Sonnet
The Captain, Harkness - Ianto calls him 'sir',
Or 'Jack' in moments duty doesn't call.
As lovers, between shots, they would whisper...
Alas - for now, those few shots are their all.
One stopwatch scene - the audience, denied
The details, fast becoming nervous wrecks -
The lust is epic, and unsatisfied,
Since two screen kisses don't add up to sex.
Yet true love never shall to strictures bow
And loving minds ever invention mean
Our heroes love is secret only now -
Just wait until the fanfic hits the screen.
Although we barely saw them, we don't mourn -
We fans all know the internet's for porn.
Torchwood Sonnet critical commentary
( Read more... )
There were notes in the margins. Again telling me to put paragraphs together or that one was too short.
Also
The first paragraph got "Great this is a nice idea and something which take further at some point"
... I think, again there's reading it. But teach said it would be an interesting topic for the... whatsit, bit essay at the end, I knew the word a minute ago... I have a brain but it's still asleep...
ANYways
The bit "There are three main semantic fields in this poem" gets "Good such an interesting way to work" ... I think succh, could be stuff. Either way... I'm working a particular way? I'll have to find out what it is so I can do it again...
"There's room at this point for this to be a straight up elegiac poem" gets a wiggly line under straight up and "watch your expression here". Someone from LJ in a comment said this is because I didn't need to say "straight up" at all. I am enlightened. Also, I would have had two extra words to play with elsewhere. Always cool.
"Rhyme reinforces meaning." gets "This is an odd little sentence."
Yes. It is. I'm sure I meant something by it at the time.
Most of the - are circled.
I guess I was just in a - mood.
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