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My kitchen floor is very, very cold. I just had to stand in there for five minutes doing the cleaner day jobs and it was actively painful. C O L D. And yes, I should have stopped and put something on my feets, but that would require sense and logic and not just having woken up. I'm sure the floor never used to get quite this cold before they fixed it.
Dreams yesterday involved Tony Stark as a white court vampire, inherited from Howard Stark. And quite a lot of burning due to True Love. I think I've read two fics like that already though.
Dreams today involved being a teacher at a boarding school. Dreamed I'd been to the same school as the guy that played Julian Bashir on DS9 and he was my high school crush and captain of all the sports teams and played for England, and was extra unattainable in a higher school year. And then instead of wondering what people are doing and finding them on Facebook there was knowing what he was up to from all the Star Trek gossip. That would be epic weird. But in the dream I applied for the teaching job and then found out he was head of department. So my high school crush was now my boss. Who had also been one of my favourite characters.
The line between awesome and awful is a thin one right there.
In the dream I asked him out every holiday, and every holiday he politely told me he would be spending time with his ex and their kid, and then after the holiday pretended I hadn't said anything.
... that's a bit on the awful side.
But also in the dream it turned out that due to a series of miscommunications and one of the younger teachers being kind of super creepy, my crush thought I was actually engaged to this other teacher. He in fact thought he was going to be best man at the wedding. Which would make dating me awkward.
Clearly once that was all sorted out we'd get Happily Ever After.
And not, you know, restraining orders all round.
*facepalm*
There was also fun with trying to analyse the chemical content of glowsticks via high school chemistry lab full of enthusiastic but unskilled teenagers. That was colorful. And a teensy bit explosive.
Also in the dream the boarding school was close enough to my flat now that I kept this flat as well, to keep all my books in, even though I was paid extra to stay overnight and theoretically supervise the girls dorms. So I had a room at school which was like student housing only with more weird corners and ivy. Quite a lot like student housing then. But it was on the ground floor near the door so I could see people leaving, which just meant random students being annoying at the window at all hours. Plus I never had time to go visit my books even when they were just up the road, nor space to bring them to school with me.
All of which is a lot more creative than the standard anxiety nightmare of being stuck in school with fellow students decades younger than me and assignments overdue, but somehow has much the same feeling. Only there's no passing grade that will get you out of it. Ever. Just teaching.
In the dream it was the only thing I was qualified to do, so I would be stuck teaching people that didn't really want to be there and didn't have anywhere else to be at the end of the day forever.
In reality I have 34 days before I must hand in my *rudeword* dissertation with the correct number of words in it, two and a bit weeks before my teacher stops being able to give feedback on it, and two or three days before I said I'd send him the next chapter.
And a feeling of sinking doom, panic, and dread whenever I think about the thing. Why did I think I had anything to say about this? Panic and woe.
But after that, if I so choose, I don't have to have anything to do with academia ever, ever again.
No more deadlines, no more assignments, no more feedback saying the exact same thing it has said for the past eleven years.
Just this one last project between here and freedom.
... freedom is big and scary and I suspect I don't wants it.
I'll have to think of something to do instead.
Okay. Writing. About the Doctor's companions and how they're extremely awesome.
I can do this.
... I really really hope I can do this...
Dreams yesterday involved Tony Stark as a white court vampire, inherited from Howard Stark. And quite a lot of burning due to True Love. I think I've read two fics like that already though.
Dreams today involved being a teacher at a boarding school. Dreamed I'd been to the same school as the guy that played Julian Bashir on DS9 and he was my high school crush and captain of all the sports teams and played for England, and was extra unattainable in a higher school year. And then instead of wondering what people are doing and finding them on Facebook there was knowing what he was up to from all the Star Trek gossip. That would be epic weird. But in the dream I applied for the teaching job and then found out he was head of department. So my high school crush was now my boss. Who had also been one of my favourite characters.
The line between awesome and awful is a thin one right there.
In the dream I asked him out every holiday, and every holiday he politely told me he would be spending time with his ex and their kid, and then after the holiday pretended I hadn't said anything.
... that's a bit on the awful side.
But also in the dream it turned out that due to a series of miscommunications and one of the younger teachers being kind of super creepy, my crush thought I was actually engaged to this other teacher. He in fact thought he was going to be best man at the wedding. Which would make dating me awkward.
Clearly once that was all sorted out we'd get Happily Ever After.
And not, you know, restraining orders all round.
*facepalm*
There was also fun with trying to analyse the chemical content of glowsticks via high school chemistry lab full of enthusiastic but unskilled teenagers. That was colorful. And a teensy bit explosive.
Also in the dream the boarding school was close enough to my flat now that I kept this flat as well, to keep all my books in, even though I was paid extra to stay overnight and theoretically supervise the girls dorms. So I had a room at school which was like student housing only with more weird corners and ivy. Quite a lot like student housing then. But it was on the ground floor near the door so I could see people leaving, which just meant random students being annoying at the window at all hours. Plus I never had time to go visit my books even when they were just up the road, nor space to bring them to school with me.
All of which is a lot more creative than the standard anxiety nightmare of being stuck in school with fellow students decades younger than me and assignments overdue, but somehow has much the same feeling. Only there's no passing grade that will get you out of it. Ever. Just teaching.
In the dream it was the only thing I was qualified to do, so I would be stuck teaching people that didn't really want to be there and didn't have anywhere else to be at the end of the day forever.
In reality I have 34 days before I must hand in my *rudeword* dissertation with the correct number of words in it, two and a bit weeks before my teacher stops being able to give feedback on it, and two or three days before I said I'd send him the next chapter.
And a feeling of sinking doom, panic, and dread whenever I think about the thing. Why did I think I had anything to say about this? Panic and woe.
But after that, if I so choose, I don't have to have anything to do with academia ever, ever again.
No more deadlines, no more assignments, no more feedback saying the exact same thing it has said for the past eleven years.
Just this one last project between here and freedom.
... freedom is big and scary and I suspect I don't wants it.
I'll have to think of something to do instead.
Okay. Writing. About the Doctor's companions and how they're extremely awesome.
I can do this.
... I really really hope I can do this...