assorted Kanes

I've had a series of dreams lately about Lindsey McDonald and Eliot Spencer.
Because my subconscious is well trained.

But they turn into weird little meditations on the nature of identity and attraction, which isn't exactly where I was hoping they'd go.

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And now I kind of want to write this story, where Lindsey gets called back in Eliot's body to rescue his secret probably teenage by now offspring from the clutches of Wolfram and Hart. That could go through so many excellent twists.

But my dreams were less excellent and mostly kind of puzzled and thwarted?
Because the last one was like, okay, so, L or El is in love with you, excellent, and now you're sharing your interests and what you do to relax... aaaaand they're just, like, not? it? Like, they're very nearly the things I like, but just sideways of them. If they were completely not my thing it would be simples, parallel, he'd do his hobbies and watch his films and I'd read my books and wait for my turn with the TV. And if we liked exactly the same things then big win. But instead it was like the uncanny valley of shared interests. Things that I know well enough to know why I don't quite like them, or things I liked when I was younger that I grew away from and now make me feel kind of squirmy embarrassed, or things where I haven't watched them yet but I just don't get why he is.

So then that was a whole heaping dose of 'do I really like this person or just the outsides with what I was making up and projecting on them'. And, duh, they're characters I write from very cherrypicked canon, I am clearly making up the guy I like. But if the canon guy was exactly the same and he just like, say, Sailor Moon, would he still be the guy I thought I liked?

So that was weirdly uncomfortable and full of self examination.

And probably the short explanation of why I've never got around to dating. Like, nobody agrees with me perfectly enough. But I don't want to be that person, that person sounds ridiculous.



So.

Lots of dreams of my current favourite pretty, and yet, the upshot is feeling philosophical and kind of foolish.

*sigh*

success

Norwich Science Fiction Group happened once more
and this time there were three whole people who wanted to talk about science fiction.

I am now in the phase of the evening where everything comes back in my head to the soundtrack of my epic social anxiety. It's boring. It's kind of running as a background process right now.

It is SUPER WARMS around here. My house is super warms. It was the correct temperature in the basement of the pub, because they're on the water with a fridge behind it. Most of the year I have to wear jumpers and a coat, but today, correct temperature while wearing lightest outfit. That is super warm, and it is not wearing off as fast as would be nice. Plus I am as per usual having to balance outdoor air making probably allergy discomfort with indoor air being broiled. But tomorrow it is supposed to get properly cool again overnight, so I look forward to that.