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beccaelizabethYou know those nights 'sleep' that leave you feeling more scrambled and trashed than when you went to bed?
Dreams of violence and stupidity. All bloody night.
I dreamed I got stabbed through the skull with scissors. Wasn't pleasant.
And then I dreamed something that was horrible squirmy unpleasant but for odd reasons.
Dreamed I was at a play, with lots of other fanpersons, that had been advertised in a way that sounded interesting but turned out to be a bunch of teenagers with photos for masks doing a musical. Really dire.
But the squirmy horrible bit was the Q&A after. It was like every Q&A at every convention you ever been to, but while it started with a stage full of recogniseable people, every question showed something about them that didn't match who we thought they were, and then gradually they started looking different, worn through, chapped, wrinkled, ill eyes, until they looked like random drunks out a hospital, not who we'd thought they were at all. And after every question they were giving it the 'haven't I seen you before' and stuff, and people were being giggly about how they follow them around sometimes, but the people on stage were being more and more baffled. And after every question the person that asked it had to leave. So I sat in the corner taking notes for the internet, until I was the last person there. And left on stage were two ageing wrecks who stared at me with bafflement and waited for my question. And to this 'seen you before' was added 'but this is my only job! maybe I saw you yesterday'. And they weren't anyone now. I couldn't ask a good question because I didn't know them, but I'd sat there the whole hour and what do you say? Who are you anyway?
So I tried to say something really general, about how I follow as much of the industry as I can, because I want to be a writer one day.
And they just looked baffled. Why would anyone want in to this?
I'm not at the Bad Wolf convention. I kind of wish I were. I might even have missed that 5th episode. I could be sitting around watching or even talking to the Doctor and Sarah Jane. And knowing some about the actors that played them, and what else they've been in, and being interested. And knowing it all matters, still matters, because we make it matter. It matters to us.
Dreams of violence and stupidity. All bloody night.
I dreamed I got stabbed through the skull with scissors. Wasn't pleasant.
And then I dreamed something that was horrible squirmy unpleasant but for odd reasons.
Dreamed I was at a play, with lots of other fanpersons, that had been advertised in a way that sounded interesting but turned out to be a bunch of teenagers with photos for masks doing a musical. Really dire.
But the squirmy horrible bit was the Q&A after. It was like every Q&A at every convention you ever been to, but while it started with a stage full of recogniseable people, every question showed something about them that didn't match who we thought they were, and then gradually they started looking different, worn through, chapped, wrinkled, ill eyes, until they looked like random drunks out a hospital, not who we'd thought they were at all. And after every question they were giving it the 'haven't I seen you before' and stuff, and people were being giggly about how they follow them around sometimes, but the people on stage were being more and more baffled. And after every question the person that asked it had to leave. So I sat in the corner taking notes for the internet, until I was the last person there. And left on stage were two ageing wrecks who stared at me with bafflement and waited for my question. And to this 'seen you before' was added 'but this is my only job! maybe I saw you yesterday'. And they weren't anyone now. I couldn't ask a good question because I didn't know them, but I'd sat there the whole hour and what do you say? Who are you anyway?
So I tried to say something really general, about how I follow as much of the industry as I can, because I want to be a writer one day.
And they just looked baffled. Why would anyone want in to this?
I'm not at the Bad Wolf convention. I kind of wish I were. I might even have missed that 5th episode. I could be sitting around watching or even talking to the Doctor and Sarah Jane. And knowing some about the actors that played them, and what else they've been in, and being interested. And knowing it all matters, still matters, because we make it matter. It matters to us.