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Want, want to be, identify
Jan. 14th, 2005 03:58 pmThere have been a lot of words about why write m/m, and is it because of not enough strong female characters, and so forth. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thete1 reckons it is not about the lack of 'strong' female characters but because we identify with certain characters who most often happen to be male. Which I reckon is pretty true. I just wrote a long, long, long post full of examples that I ended up making private because it got way too deep into my personal brain. So I'm trying to write the short version here, which will therefore be very short and lacking examples.
Every character I've really *wanted* I've also *wanted to be* or just really identified with.
I wasn't waiting for Prince Charming because I wanted to be the swooning Princess lady, I wanted to get up on my charger in my gleaming armour and be... well, Éowyn, and save the day and win the guy who happened to be also the shining armour type. I was waiting for someone like me.
And *that* is why I write slash. Because of both want and want to be for both characters, who might also be looking for someone very much like themselves, or the self they want to be.
Giles sees in Ethan qualities he wants (to have *and* to be with), Ethan sees the same in Giles, like mirror-equals, opposite but same. That is why slash. And why Spike/Buffy works for me just as well as slash does, but only when that particular emphasis it put on it.
And, importantly, why conventional romance often *doesn't* work for me. I can never see what they have in common. They seem so not-same I can't see why they'd even talk, let alone fall in love.
thete1 reckons it is not about the lack of 'strong' female characters but because we identify with certain characters who most often happen to be male. Which I reckon is pretty true. I just wrote a long, long, long post full of examples that I ended up making private because it got way too deep into my personal brain. So I'm trying to write the short version here, which will therefore be very short and lacking examples.Every character I've really *wanted* I've also *wanted to be* or just really identified with.
I wasn't waiting for Prince Charming because I wanted to be the swooning Princess lady, I wanted to get up on my charger in my gleaming armour and be... well, Éowyn, and save the day and win the guy who happened to be also the shining armour type. I was waiting for someone like me.
And *that* is why I write slash. Because of both want and want to be for both characters, who might also be looking for someone very much like themselves, or the self they want to be.
Giles sees in Ethan qualities he wants (to have *and* to be with), Ethan sees the same in Giles, like mirror-equals, opposite but same. That is why slash. And why Spike/Buffy works for me just as well as slash does, but only when that particular emphasis it put on it.
And, importantly, why conventional romance often *doesn't* work for me. I can never see what they have in common. They seem so not-same I can't see why they'd even talk, let alone fall in love.