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May. 1st, 2008 12:24 amYou know there's all these how to flirt guides turning up after the recent *facepalm*?
First reaction: ooooh, cool, there's a manual!
... whyfor humans not come with instructions? We considerable complicated.
I need to learn more stuff. It seems to be mostly stuff people mostly know and don't say in clear. Although also there's a lot of stuff I read and just go *blinky* ( Read more... )
There's safety rules on the end of the page. They have the look of something cut n pasted from some other context.
I also need, in pretty much every area of life, to learn when fear is actually in fact reasonable. Because having had my anxiety turned up to 11 for so damn long, all I've learned is how to ignore fear. And that's clearly and simply stupid. I just need to start learning basic safety rules for people that can manage leaving the house on their own and similar everyone thinks it's safe stuff.
... it's a little late to start being a teenager, but so it goes.
Oh, eeew. This list of 'signals' is meant for men to learn when women are flirting with them. Number one on the list? If a woman is on her own. Yes, apparently walking to the bar or the jukebox is a clear signal a woman wants to be chatted up right then. And swinging on her bar stool means she fancies who she's facing! And any seperation of shoes and feet is secretly her getting undressed!
*shudders*
See this is the kind of article that makes me want to (a) wear those big outfits with the veils and (b) not leave the house much. Urgh.
A lot of those things say that fiddling with hair or brushing hair back is flirting. A lot of the others say it is being nervous. Some split the difference and say it's being nervous cause you're flirting.
"The most common body language gestures that reveal at least minimal interest are hair twirling, hair tossing and leg crossing. When a woman tosses her hair, it comes across as a nervous gesture. What it tells the man is, he's making her a bit nervous. And to his mind, if she's nervous, she must be interested!"
... is it just me, or is this incredibly creepy?
Same signals mean 'go away scary' and 'go ahead pretty'???
Then look at the section on 'Arm Crossing' on that same link and *shudder*.
It's defensive and protective and anxious... and therefore sexual! And draws attention to the breasts! Must be a go-ahead.
*facepalm*
Leg crossing? "Lots of people unconsciously cross and uncross their legs when they're anxious." So, that's a go-away, right? "If you can't stop crossing your legs and you're virtually twitching in your seat, again this is an unconscious gesture that clearly tells a man that he's really getting to you." ... in a go-away sense? Oh, but no. "he knows you're burning hot for him"
Hello to the creepy!
all these signals they're squishing together the nervous/anxious and the interested.
And, yeah, I can see how one could be a bit nervous because interested, but then again isn't a whole stack of nervous signals more likely because scared=go-away??
Body language doesn't make sense. Words frequently don't entirely make sense, but body language just doesn't be in the same game as sense. Blah.
... oh, look, it's one in the morning. Okay, time to wander off and actually sleep again.
Last comment only: Symbol or word signs that simplify this stuff seem to me of the good. Green badge for hello, red for go away. Simple. Except for people working from different symbol systems, and people wanting a nice safe default position. And different interest groups wanting different defaults. Then, not-simple. Big mess.
Humans. Always more complications.
First reaction: ooooh, cool, there's a manual!
... whyfor humans not come with instructions? We considerable complicated.
I need to learn more stuff. It seems to be mostly stuff people mostly know and don't say in clear. Although also there's a lot of stuff I read and just go *blinky* ( Read more... )
There's safety rules on the end of the page. They have the look of something cut n pasted from some other context.
I also need, in pretty much every area of life, to learn when fear is actually in fact reasonable. Because having had my anxiety turned up to 11 for so damn long, all I've learned is how to ignore fear. And that's clearly and simply stupid. I just need to start learning basic safety rules for people that can manage leaving the house on their own and similar everyone thinks it's safe stuff.
... it's a little late to start being a teenager, but so it goes.
Oh, eeew. This list of 'signals' is meant for men to learn when women are flirting with them. Number one on the list? If a woman is on her own. Yes, apparently walking to the bar or the jukebox is a clear signal a woman wants to be chatted up right then. And swinging on her bar stool means she fancies who she's facing! And any seperation of shoes and feet is secretly her getting undressed!
*shudders*
See this is the kind of article that makes me want to (a) wear those big outfits with the veils and (b) not leave the house much. Urgh.
A lot of those things say that fiddling with hair or brushing hair back is flirting. A lot of the others say it is being nervous. Some split the difference and say it's being nervous cause you're flirting.
"The most common body language gestures that reveal at least minimal interest are hair twirling, hair tossing and leg crossing. When a woman tosses her hair, it comes across as a nervous gesture. What it tells the man is, he's making her a bit nervous. And to his mind, if she's nervous, she must be interested!"
... is it just me, or is this incredibly creepy?
Same signals mean 'go away scary' and 'go ahead pretty'???
Then look at the section on 'Arm Crossing' on that same link and *shudder*.
It's defensive and protective and anxious... and therefore sexual! And draws attention to the breasts! Must be a go-ahead.
*facepalm*
Leg crossing? "Lots of people unconsciously cross and uncross their legs when they're anxious." So, that's a go-away, right? "If you can't stop crossing your legs and you're virtually twitching in your seat, again this is an unconscious gesture that clearly tells a man that he's really getting to you." ... in a go-away sense? Oh, but no. "he knows you're burning hot for him"
Hello to the creepy!
all these signals they're squishing together the nervous/anxious and the interested.
And, yeah, I can see how one could be a bit nervous because interested, but then again isn't a whole stack of nervous signals more likely because scared=go-away??
Body language doesn't make sense. Words frequently don't entirely make sense, but body language just doesn't be in the same game as sense. Blah.
... oh, look, it's one in the morning. Okay, time to wander off and actually sleep again.
Last comment only: Symbol or word signs that simplify this stuff seem to me of the good. Green badge for hello, red for go away. Simple. Except for people working from different symbol systems, and people wanting a nice safe default position. And different interest groups wanting different defaults. Then, not-simple. Big mess.
Humans. Always more complications.