change change change

[beccaelizabeth]

I went to Meditation for Beginners (drop in sessions no experience necessary mondays wednesdays saturdays) at Norwich Buddhist centre.
Their stairs needs more handrail. It does have a stairlift though which is good. I like their statue in their shrine room, their statue Buddha looks like he gets the joke.
Bloke leading the meditation had a speak at the start about how mindfulness is about change, about how you can get stuck in a particular mind and think that's just how you are and you're stuck with it, but you can always change.
I had forgotten that for a bit, hence the depressed post this morning.

Then there were cushions and posture and Mindfulness of Breathing meditation.
... the cushions had no give in them, very support no squish. And I spent at least a quarter hour fidgeting between positions trying to find a way to sit that didn't feel like I'd fall off. Big behind, small round cushion. And I can't kneel, my feets don't like it, but the demonstrated way of sitting cross legged had knees on the floor and was quite a lot like kneeling and apparently supposed to be more stable in the long term. I couldn't find a way to feel stable like that and suspect it involves having a different skeleton. Either next time I'll get the hang of it or next time I'll sit right on the floor and cross legged like I usually am.
I discover I am not very good at sitting still. I mean I knew that, but really, not very good at all.
Also keeping my hands still is tricky. I try and think about breathing, I discover my hands are typing in thin air. :eyeroll:
Their floor is made of wood and has very many interesting patterns.
Also, sunlight moves. I had not previously sat still and stared at it doing so. Verrrry sloooowly.

... I don't know if I got the hang of meditation, really.

We got to the end of the hour and he asked us to think about if we felt any different than we had before we did the meditation, and I realised yes, for I could not feel my feets.

... oops.

I also realised that I was an hour away from my grumpy, so that wins.
I'll be going back next monday to have another go.


After that we went around the shops. I sold some books (bye bye later Anita Blake. £1 per book was too much for them.) Then I went to Oxfam and bought a health worker and some solar panels. As in those cards on the spinner rack. They seem like pretty good gifts. I took all my collected pound coins, including the ones from the vampires books. Shiny change.

I looked at clothes and hats and shiny things, discovered which shops have changed since last time, bought new shoes (little velvet slippers same like always, only somehow they always disappear), bought some new books (well there's room on the shelf now) and discovered that season 2 of Fringe in HMV costs £55. Season 1 cost £40 there, rather than £11 in the supermarket. I like there being actual physical shops to go in, but I can't afford an extra £30 per season. So I will be buying that online.

Now I am home.

:-)

Comments

[lizw.livejournal.com]

I don't think anyone gets the hang of meditation first time! I'll be interested to hear how you get on over time. Meditating in the mornings definitely helps me to be more focused and more relaxed (if that isn't a contradiction in terms - but I guess being more grounded helps with both those things. Less distraction, less worry.)