Church Dreams
Jul. 16th, 2005 12:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccaelizabethHad a dream where I found this gorgeous house online.
It was made of flints, like the church it was next to. There was a pointy iron fence and a bit of a drop between the two properties. The house was technically a business, The Stag inn, but kind of small to call a hotel. It was all for sale for £235,000 as a going concern. So I went to look.
While I was there I looked around the church too. I asked first if you especially had to be Christian to get in. Nobody minded. Especially since they were setting up the place for like a multicultural wedding, lots of Indian things (from India, not the other kind of indians). It was going to be a big event for the village, especially because it was probably the last wedding they'd do. The C of E priest was retiring, and they probably weren't going to get a new one. Church to close down.
So I started thinking, I could buy the inn and the church both. And use the church for all kinds of interesting stuff. But then I looked around, and it was somehow not cool to be thinking of converting the place to pagan worship when there was a congregation standing right there, who'd miss it being theirs. So I was all, okay, we could use it for music. Like, folk music. Respectful.
So then a kind of a service started, and there was this guy who came in who looked kind of like Oz and was very zen. And we were doing like modified Bible readings, kind of like tagging with the verses, read out one each and put our own spin on it. By the end of the passage the Buddha was involved, don't really know how. But it was cool, like finding someone to write with, only with Bible fanfic. Which I'm aware exists, but I just mean playing with philosophical stuff. ANYways, the regular congregation liked us, albeit in a somewhat bemused way.
But then this other guy came in, acting like he was on something, looking for the treasure. He was absolutely convinced there was treasure. And this was just a regular church, mostly painted white, a few plaster saints and some places where they'd taped up so many posters and kids paintings and stuff over the years the residual sticky tape was probably necessary to the structural integrity of the place. Nothing especially shiny, just a nice warm sincere place.
But this guy, he had a gun, and he was waving it about everywhere and everyone was freaking. I mean it was a church full of little old ladies and he pulls a gun. Not cool. So, I walk up to him. Actually it started a little more confused than that, everyone was running every which way, he was waving the gun around, I was kind of standing there and the gun went off. Bam! And I saw like this white light zip past me, and I knew that was the bullet. But it went too fast for me to really react, so I looked like I was cool.
But then I walked forwards. I put my hand up, and I was deliberately getting this guy's attention to try and get it away from all these other people. And of course he shot me. Hit my hand. Kind of like Vader with the blaster bolts, only I was expecting it to go right through, like hand donut, with pain and bone fragmentation. But there wasn't any pain, and I didn't hardly feel it, so I just kept my hand up there and thought Jedi. Told him to give me the gun. There is no treasure here, just give me the gun and go.
So he looks at me like I'm some divine retribution, chucks the gun at me and runs. I kind of catch it in the not-shot hand. Then I go "Er, is there anyone here who knows these things?" And the Oz looking guy comes up and pulls things and makes the bullets fall out. Thankfully. Holding that thing kind of sideways and not sure how easy it was to make it go off, not the most fun thing.
All the bullets were kind of golden. Including the one just barely embedded in my hand. I mean, there was no wound. No actual injury. It had just sunk in enough to not fall out on its own, and when I pried it out it left a dent.
"Okay, excuse me while I convert *back*..." say I.
But not meaning it exclusively. I mean Jesus is cool and all, but not the whole story.
But all that looks like a story, only I wasn't there for all the Acts.
So, then I woke up. And spent some time thinking about how this was obviously the start of a grand romance with the Oz guy. Except my half asleep brain started wondering, what if he was the replacement priest? Or worse, what if he was a Catholic priest kind of scouting the place to see if he could take over? NO sex. But that would be kind of okay, because we could just stay together and, like, write. I mean I've lived without sex thus far, and finding someone I could have fun just spending time with would be major progress.
I'm kind of unambitiousabout that stuff.
So then I reckoned I wasn't getting back to sleep, despite having only been asleep for about four hours, so I got up and got the computer on. And went looking for houses. Nice little flint ones, £235,000...
What? It could happen!
Besides, once I found propertyfinder.com I had a little map to play with, so I've been there for, er, a while. With little houses you can click on and get more details. They're fun.
Haven't found a flint place. Found somewhere that used to be a school, and another place next to a church. No pubs yet. I don't even know if they'd be on there.
I'm strange and easily amused *shrugs*
It was made of flints, like the church it was next to. There was a pointy iron fence and a bit of a drop between the two properties. The house was technically a business, The Stag inn, but kind of small to call a hotel. It was all for sale for £235,000 as a going concern. So I went to look.
While I was there I looked around the church too. I asked first if you especially had to be Christian to get in. Nobody minded. Especially since they were setting up the place for like a multicultural wedding, lots of Indian things (from India, not the other kind of indians). It was going to be a big event for the village, especially because it was probably the last wedding they'd do. The C of E priest was retiring, and they probably weren't going to get a new one. Church to close down.
So I started thinking, I could buy the inn and the church both. And use the church for all kinds of interesting stuff. But then I looked around, and it was somehow not cool to be thinking of converting the place to pagan worship when there was a congregation standing right there, who'd miss it being theirs. So I was all, okay, we could use it for music. Like, folk music. Respectful.
So then a kind of a service started, and there was this guy who came in who looked kind of like Oz and was very zen. And we were doing like modified Bible readings, kind of like tagging with the verses, read out one each and put our own spin on it. By the end of the passage the Buddha was involved, don't really know how. But it was cool, like finding someone to write with, only with Bible fanfic. Which I'm aware exists, but I just mean playing with philosophical stuff. ANYways, the regular congregation liked us, albeit in a somewhat bemused way.
But then this other guy came in, acting like he was on something, looking for the treasure. He was absolutely convinced there was treasure. And this was just a regular church, mostly painted white, a few plaster saints and some places where they'd taped up so many posters and kids paintings and stuff over the years the residual sticky tape was probably necessary to the structural integrity of the place. Nothing especially shiny, just a nice warm sincere place.
But this guy, he had a gun, and he was waving it about everywhere and everyone was freaking. I mean it was a church full of little old ladies and he pulls a gun. Not cool. So, I walk up to him. Actually it started a little more confused than that, everyone was running every which way, he was waving the gun around, I was kind of standing there and the gun went off. Bam! And I saw like this white light zip past me, and I knew that was the bullet. But it went too fast for me to really react, so I looked like I was cool.
But then I walked forwards. I put my hand up, and I was deliberately getting this guy's attention to try and get it away from all these other people. And of course he shot me. Hit my hand. Kind of like Vader with the blaster bolts, only I was expecting it to go right through, like hand donut, with pain and bone fragmentation. But there wasn't any pain, and I didn't hardly feel it, so I just kept my hand up there and thought Jedi. Told him to give me the gun. There is no treasure here, just give me the gun and go.
So he looks at me like I'm some divine retribution, chucks the gun at me and runs. I kind of catch it in the not-shot hand. Then I go "Er, is there anyone here who knows these things?" And the Oz looking guy comes up and pulls things and makes the bullets fall out. Thankfully. Holding that thing kind of sideways and not sure how easy it was to make it go off, not the most fun thing.
All the bullets were kind of golden. Including the one just barely embedded in my hand. I mean, there was no wound. No actual injury. It had just sunk in enough to not fall out on its own, and when I pried it out it left a dent.
"Okay, excuse me while I convert *back*..." say I.
But not meaning it exclusively. I mean Jesus is cool and all, but not the whole story.
But all that looks like a story, only I wasn't there for all the Acts.
So, then I woke up. And spent some time thinking about how this was obviously the start of a grand romance with the Oz guy. Except my half asleep brain started wondering, what if he was the replacement priest? Or worse, what if he was a Catholic priest kind of scouting the place to see if he could take over? NO sex. But that would be kind of okay, because we could just stay together and, like, write. I mean I've lived without sex thus far, and finding someone I could have fun just spending time with would be major progress.
I'm kind of unambitiousabout that stuff.
So then I reckoned I wasn't getting back to sleep, despite having only been asleep for about four hours, so I got up and got the computer on. And went looking for houses. Nice little flint ones, £235,000...
What? It could happen!
Besides, once I found propertyfinder.com I had a little map to play with, so I've been there for, er, a while. With little houses you can click on and get more details. They're fun.
Haven't found a flint place. Found somewhere that used to be a school, and another place next to a church. No pubs yet. I don't even know if they'd be on there.
I'm strange and easily amused *shrugs*