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beccaelizabethFrustratingly this morning I can only remember like 2/3 of a dream. And the last 1/3 involved a particularly good trick.
So there was this guy summoning demons, and this was a very bad idea, but hey, once you've got a summoned demon, you've got to deal with them. You can't just be 'okay that's all thanks' because then they'll do their half anyway and hell happens. (This is a stupid rule, but demons.)
So when he'd summoned up a small one I stopped him speaking and told him at this point he can either spend the rest of his life not speaking anything that could be construed as an order, ever, anywhere, at all... or he could think of some really good orders. I suggested he start with the ten commandments.
(though really the three laws of robotics would also do interesting things, and fit the 'three wishes' structure the dream had going on)
So he started with 'thou shalt not kill', which was short sighted of him, obviously you start with the bit about god and hope they'll be any good at all at it.
... the idea that demons are good and loyal employees of a particularly smitey god, like prison wardens, that is not a pleasant idea at all...
So he was dealing with his small demon, but somehow I ended up dealing with this boss demon who had a bazillion other demons working for him. He wasn't sole boss of hell, but he was pretty boss. So I had to think of a really good set of three orders.
So the first one was 'You and yours shall protect all humans'.
Which sounds good, but resulted in empty streets, because humanity as a whole was put in like little fishbowl enclosures for maximum protect. That was going to go poorly.
Second was 'You and yours shall each find delight in a different facet of the freely made creations of humanity'.
Which is a bit wordy, but thinking it through, has some good angles. Like, they are now fans. But they can't all decide to be torture fans, because there aren't enough facets of torture to go around, there being a lot of demons. Plus they'd each have to like a smaller thing for that to work, and, demons. So being grabby they'll like things like Rock Music or Grimdark Fantasy, but then they will realise they could like all the things, and have the maximum possible things each. And then, right, some demon somewhere doesn't want the series to be cancelled, because they are a fan. But they can't push people into making it, because 'freely made'. ... which might mean they can't be fans of commercial product, maybe it needs a different phrasing, or they're all into fanfic. ... if fanfic, then even better, because they'd have to encourage a variety of source canons.
And what they can't do at any point is destroy the world, because they'd be decreasing their supply of shiny things.
And okay, they're still demons, so they'll still find a way to twist everything, so there needs to be a third wish...
... but that's the one I can't remember.
Because while I was getting ready to wish it I remembered, in the dream, Neverending Story II, the 'wish you had a heart' bit. And you can't do that with demons. Because god is love, right, so demons can't manipulate love, because it is sacred, so you can't tell demons to enforce on other demons the concept of love, because that's not a demon thing. Delight they've got, delight they can spread around, but you can't order some faked up love. Plus love is a very fuzzy referent by now, it can mean a lot of things, so you would pretty much be setting up a Misery situation where demons just love their humans sooooo much they'll keep them forever. ... which is a possibility of the Delight order, but Protect was first, so, you know, maybe, that could work out.
So now I'm trying to remember the particular order that would get us out of the particular apocalypse called up in that particular dream, and I can't, I just remember it was a really good one that would have worked.
So then we'd be stuffed.
*sigh*
The next dream after that was James Corden as a goa'uld Queen, kind of SG1 meets The Faculty but set in the UK, or possibly Europe because there were language barriers. He was a big bloke and nobody suspected him as a 'queen' but he's the perfect shape if they're growing lots of tiny snake parasites inside. I know goa'uld use ponds or something but there's a lot of matter involved either way. Logically you'd need a fair bit of body mass to support so many. And then they were being subtle and choosing hosts without getting in their face so they'd just feel a pinch and then a snake would settle in and grow and eventually take them over. It was nasty.
Then it devolved into a standard ringing the fire alarm but nobody will move, run around the school trying to get people to listen, drums in the deep, we cannot get out, we cannot get out.
So, you know, relaxing night's sleep all round.
... day's sleep technically, it was 2pm by the time I got up, but that's... that's a thing that keeps happening. I can wake up earlier, feel awful all day, and not get to sleep any earlier. I'm not even reading until late at night, I had lights out long before midnight last night, I just gave up after the first couple hours and finished some fic on my phone before trying again. Phone down by 2am and still I saw 0500. Flipping annoying.
... it's still mostly bugging me I can't remember the third wish though.
So there was this guy summoning demons, and this was a very bad idea, but hey, once you've got a summoned demon, you've got to deal with them. You can't just be 'okay that's all thanks' because then they'll do their half anyway and hell happens. (This is a stupid rule, but demons.)
So when he'd summoned up a small one I stopped him speaking and told him at this point he can either spend the rest of his life not speaking anything that could be construed as an order, ever, anywhere, at all... or he could think of some really good orders. I suggested he start with the ten commandments.
(though really the three laws of robotics would also do interesting things, and fit the 'three wishes' structure the dream had going on)
So he started with 'thou shalt not kill', which was short sighted of him, obviously you start with the bit about god and hope they'll be any good at all at it.
... the idea that demons are good and loyal employees of a particularly smitey god, like prison wardens, that is not a pleasant idea at all...
So he was dealing with his small demon, but somehow I ended up dealing with this boss demon who had a bazillion other demons working for him. He wasn't sole boss of hell, but he was pretty boss. So I had to think of a really good set of three orders.
So the first one was 'You and yours shall protect all humans'.
Which sounds good, but resulted in empty streets, because humanity as a whole was put in like little fishbowl enclosures for maximum protect. That was going to go poorly.
Second was 'You and yours shall each find delight in a different facet of the freely made creations of humanity'.
Which is a bit wordy, but thinking it through, has some good angles. Like, they are now fans. But they can't all decide to be torture fans, because there aren't enough facets of torture to go around, there being a lot of demons. Plus they'd each have to like a smaller thing for that to work, and, demons. So being grabby they'll like things like Rock Music or Grimdark Fantasy, but then they will realise they could like all the things, and have the maximum possible things each. And then, right, some demon somewhere doesn't want the series to be cancelled, because they are a fan. But they can't push people into making it, because 'freely made'. ... which might mean they can't be fans of commercial product, maybe it needs a different phrasing, or they're all into fanfic. ... if fanfic, then even better, because they'd have to encourage a variety of source canons.
And what they can't do at any point is destroy the world, because they'd be decreasing their supply of shiny things.
And okay, they're still demons, so they'll still find a way to twist everything, so there needs to be a third wish...
... but that's the one I can't remember.
Because while I was getting ready to wish it I remembered, in the dream, Neverending Story II, the 'wish you had a heart' bit. And you can't do that with demons. Because god is love, right, so demons can't manipulate love, because it is sacred, so you can't tell demons to enforce on other demons the concept of love, because that's not a demon thing. Delight they've got, delight they can spread around, but you can't order some faked up love. Plus love is a very fuzzy referent by now, it can mean a lot of things, so you would pretty much be setting up a Misery situation where demons just love their humans sooooo much they'll keep them forever. ... which is a possibility of the Delight order, but Protect was first, so, you know, maybe, that could work out.
So now I'm trying to remember the particular order that would get us out of the particular apocalypse called up in that particular dream, and I can't, I just remember it was a really good one that would have worked.
So then we'd be stuffed.
*sigh*
The next dream after that was James Corden as a goa'uld Queen, kind of SG1 meets The Faculty but set in the UK, or possibly Europe because there were language barriers. He was a big bloke and nobody suspected him as a 'queen' but he's the perfect shape if they're growing lots of tiny snake parasites inside. I know goa'uld use ponds or something but there's a lot of matter involved either way. Logically you'd need a fair bit of body mass to support so many. And then they were being subtle and choosing hosts without getting in their face so they'd just feel a pinch and then a snake would settle in and grow and eventually take them over. It was nasty.
Then it devolved into a standard ringing the fire alarm but nobody will move, run around the school trying to get people to listen, drums in the deep, we cannot get out, we cannot get out.
So, you know, relaxing night's sleep all round.
... day's sleep technically, it was 2pm by the time I got up, but that's... that's a thing that keeps happening. I can wake up earlier, feel awful all day, and not get to sleep any earlier. I'm not even reading until late at night, I had lights out long before midnight last night, I just gave up after the first couple hours and finished some fic on my phone before trying again. Phone down by 2am and still I saw 0500. Flipping annoying.
... it's still mostly bugging me I can't remember the third wish though.