Dream was kind of hilarious
Apr. 1st, 2016 09:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccaelizabethI dreamt that we had first contact with aliens, only it wasn't some organised diplomatic mission, it was an off course trader. So they were happy to sell us a whole bunch of research material. But after they left, when people figured out how to play it and so forth, we discovered it was, basically, porn.
Some alien had sold us their porn collection.
And they were kind of Yoda looking so it was like Yoda porn, only younger.
This was not the hoped for secrets of the universe.
Unless you are really into Yoda.
So the BBC was trying to put together a documentary from the PG rated bits of an admittedly vast porn collection. Because you can learn a lot about a society from what scenarios seem likely to them to lead to bow chicka wow wow? Plus of course you get like cars and buildings and kitchens in the background, stuff nobody would bother to think about, except it's alien.
They were also pretty much able to put together an idea of alien reproductive cycles. With the major caveat that really, it's porn, you probably shouldn't trust anything to do with porn. But they turned out to, er, mate, in a surprising variety of contexts, but if they were reproducing they had to get back to the ancestral waters and spawn into a very specific stream. And then the spawn would like tadpole down into one of a series of pools, and eventually be big enough to not wash into the next pool, and they'd grow into tiny yet recogniseable Yodas there. And there was one movie that seemed really sweet about the girl next door and true love lasting a life time and stuff, with a surprising yet useful focus on just holding hands and kissing in public, but on comparison with other texts it turned out to be the skankiest thing, because growing up in the same pond was pretty much like being siblings, in terms of taboos. They may or may not be genetically related, nobody knew for millennia, but if they were from the same waters, that's like family. It was not sweet. It was... Luke & Leia fic after only the first movie.
So everyone was watching this series of BBC documentaries and the ones who got enough into them to think kind of alien about the aliens felt like they needed to scrub their brains of the early episodes.
You know, more than they would from just actually thinking about the fact they've studied hundreds of hours of alien porn.
So that was kind of hilarious.
Some alien had sold us their porn collection.
And they were kind of Yoda looking so it was like Yoda porn, only younger.
This was not the hoped for secrets of the universe.
Unless you are really into Yoda.
So the BBC was trying to put together a documentary from the PG rated bits of an admittedly vast porn collection. Because you can learn a lot about a society from what scenarios seem likely to them to lead to bow chicka wow wow? Plus of course you get like cars and buildings and kitchens in the background, stuff nobody would bother to think about, except it's alien.
They were also pretty much able to put together an idea of alien reproductive cycles. With the major caveat that really, it's porn, you probably shouldn't trust anything to do with porn. But they turned out to, er, mate, in a surprising variety of contexts, but if they were reproducing they had to get back to the ancestral waters and spawn into a very specific stream. And then the spawn would like tadpole down into one of a series of pools, and eventually be big enough to not wash into the next pool, and they'd grow into tiny yet recogniseable Yodas there. And there was one movie that seemed really sweet about the girl next door and true love lasting a life time and stuff, with a surprising yet useful focus on just holding hands and kissing in public, but on comparison with other texts it turned out to be the skankiest thing, because growing up in the same pond was pretty much like being siblings, in terms of taboos. They may or may not be genetically related, nobody knew for millennia, but if they were from the same waters, that's like family. It was not sweet. It was... Luke & Leia fic after only the first movie.
So everyone was watching this series of BBC documentaries and the ones who got enough into them to think kind of alien about the aliens felt like they needed to scrub their brains of the early episodes.
You know, more than they would from just actually thinking about the fact they've studied hundreds of hours of alien porn.
So that was kind of hilarious.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-11 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-11 06:44 pm (UTC)