Fantastic Four
Apr. 17th, 2016 06:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccaelizabethJust watched the most recent Fantastic Four movie, because movies with brother Sunday.
That was really, really bad.
I mean, they managed to screw up every character. I can say this with confidence despite not having read the comics because they just... that was... ugh, such a mess. Whatever they were trying to do, they managed to mess up every character. Nobody got a payoff that matched their setup. Not one of them. How? Do you even? I mean writers can usually... but no, not one.
Also about all I heard about it in advance was a lot of noise about them casting a black guy as Johnny Storm. I considered that casting A Good Thing. But having watched the movie, I think it's kind of more significant that his dad was black, because guess who dies? I didn't think the Fantastics were a motivated by death of a parent sort of superhero team, but hey, I don't read them, maybe that wasn't just because colour. *wikis* Huh, complex, but not traditionally part of their origin story, no.
The whole movie was grimdarked high school AU. Or possibly college AU? Reed and Ben were definitely in high school and the way the Storms were acting made me highly dubious when Johnny claimed to be an adult, but *shrugs*. I feel I should have been clearer on that point after watching the whole thing. Whatever the Baxter thing was it involved a lot of genius teenagers. Who were sort of losers? Like, everyone was screwing up a lot at the start, except Sue. I know the one big screw up traditionally launches their powers, but this was the first time I'd seen the drunk teenagers version. They built a machine to cross between dimensions, someone said actual adults should do the using it part, the guys got drunk and used it themselves and blew themselves the hell up. Sue ... I mean, it's cool that she's sensible, except that means they made the girl the sensible how about we don't play with that one. But I was really actually offended that she's not one of the brave explorers. They might be fuckups but if they can have the one sober friend agree to go along in the hopes they'll fuck up less why the hell can't it be Sue? She built the survival suits and was just as involved with the project as the rest of them, why does she not get to do something daring?
There were a couple of points where I was glad they'd made her powers as badass as they ought to be, but I don't know as she made an actual decision at any point. So I was really very displeased about this version of Sue. I don't know what the comics are like, but women ought to steer their own lives at least sometimes.
Everyone was supporting cast though, cause this wasn't a team movie, this was REED RICHARDS (and some people). And it wasn't even good at being that. And it's stupid and wrong.
Also Doom was an incoherent mess and I don't know what they were trying to do with him but they amazingly failed.
So this was teh grimdark high school or college AU where they spend the middle of the movie captives of a shady more or less military research program that throws them straight into combat, or on the run from same. And that's nothing I'd ever heard of associated with the Fantastic Four before.
And even just as a random movie it was really bad, because I spent the first twenty minutes to half an hour waiting for something to happen and then I just gave up waiting, it didn't actually do anything interesting. They had like one fight sequence at the very end, everything else was rubbish that could be in movies not about the Fantastic Four. My brother kept saying 'it gets better' but then he gave up saying it (though possibly because I was really grumpy by then).
I'm glad I waited until this was cheap at the supermarket.
... I'd still kind of like a refund...
(plus Sunday was just not quite right, because the food was soggy rubber wrong, and then the toothpaste all had the wrong words on it, and then the movie was rubbish)
(sulk)
(:eyeroll:)
That was really, really bad.
I mean, they managed to screw up every character. I can say this with confidence despite not having read the comics because they just... that was... ugh, such a mess. Whatever they were trying to do, they managed to mess up every character. Nobody got a payoff that matched their setup. Not one of them. How? Do you even? I mean writers can usually... but no, not one.
Also about all I heard about it in advance was a lot of noise about them casting a black guy as Johnny Storm. I considered that casting A Good Thing. But having watched the movie, I think it's kind of more significant that his dad was black, because guess who dies? I didn't think the Fantastics were a motivated by death of a parent sort of superhero team, but hey, I don't read them, maybe that wasn't just because colour. *wikis* Huh, complex, but not traditionally part of their origin story, no.
The whole movie was grimdarked high school AU. Or possibly college AU? Reed and Ben were definitely in high school and the way the Storms were acting made me highly dubious when Johnny claimed to be an adult, but *shrugs*. I feel I should have been clearer on that point after watching the whole thing. Whatever the Baxter thing was it involved a lot of genius teenagers. Who were sort of losers? Like, everyone was screwing up a lot at the start, except Sue. I know the one big screw up traditionally launches their powers, but this was the first time I'd seen the drunk teenagers version. They built a machine to cross between dimensions, someone said actual adults should do the using it part, the guys got drunk and used it themselves and blew themselves the hell up. Sue ... I mean, it's cool that she's sensible, except that means they made the girl the sensible how about we don't play with that one. But I was really actually offended that she's not one of the brave explorers. They might be fuckups but if they can have the one sober friend agree to go along in the hopes they'll fuck up less why the hell can't it be Sue? She built the survival suits and was just as involved with the project as the rest of them, why does she not get to do something daring?
There were a couple of points where I was glad they'd made her powers as badass as they ought to be, but I don't know as she made an actual decision at any point. So I was really very displeased about this version of Sue. I don't know what the comics are like, but women ought to steer their own lives at least sometimes.
Everyone was supporting cast though, cause this wasn't a team movie, this was REED RICHARDS (and some people). And it wasn't even good at being that. And it's stupid and wrong.
Also Doom was an incoherent mess and I don't know what they were trying to do with him but they amazingly failed.
So this was teh grimdark high school or college AU where they spend the middle of the movie captives of a shady more or less military research program that throws them straight into combat, or on the run from same. And that's nothing I'd ever heard of associated with the Fantastic Four before.
And even just as a random movie it was really bad, because I spent the first twenty minutes to half an hour waiting for something to happen and then I just gave up waiting, it didn't actually do anything interesting. They had like one fight sequence at the very end, everything else was rubbish that could be in movies not about the Fantastic Four. My brother kept saying 'it gets better' but then he gave up saying it (though possibly because I was really grumpy by then).
I'm glad I waited until this was cheap at the supermarket.
... I'd still kind of like a refund...
(plus Sunday was just not quite right, because the food was soggy rubber wrong, and then the toothpaste all had the wrong words on it, and then the movie was rubbish)
(sulk)
(:eyeroll:)