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Sep. 13th, 2017 06:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccaelizabethSo there's these stories on tumblr with a bunch of notes and they could be summarised as cute parenting stories
except
the basic pattern is
kids try to do a thing, parent says praise and is supportive and makes sure to join in, but surprise! He lied! But because he loves the kids, so it's cute.
... it is not cute.
I mean, it's two horrible foods they ate for years and one pretending they were bad at a thing so they could join the beginners
so it seems pretty ordinary
but that's just... you can't make good decisions based on bad data.
it is not actually helpful to pretend the food is good.
Because for one, then they never learn how to do feelings and practical fixes if they make a food fail. That's a useful skill too. Parent can tell them, you worked hard, but it did not work out, but the trying was sweet and you'll do better next time. That's a useful parenting thing.
Eating bad food for literal years because you don't want to criticise when someone tried?
not helpful.
And lying about their own skill level so they can follow their kid? Just follow the kid, that's honest, don't... lie.
Lying parents are not a cute story.
Because once there's multiple stories on this pattern then what else is a lie? The kids don't know. It could all be lies.
But I'm not going to say so on a very popular tumblr post because everyone else seems to think it's cute
and presumably trusts that there's only cute happy feels under the lies.
people.
except
the basic pattern is
kids try to do a thing, parent says praise and is supportive and makes sure to join in, but surprise! He lied! But because he loves the kids, so it's cute.
... it is not cute.
I mean, it's two horrible foods they ate for years and one pretending they were bad at a thing so they could join the beginners
so it seems pretty ordinary
but that's just... you can't make good decisions based on bad data.
it is not actually helpful to pretend the food is good.
Because for one, then they never learn how to do feelings and practical fixes if they make a food fail. That's a useful skill too. Parent can tell them, you worked hard, but it did not work out, but the trying was sweet and you'll do better next time. That's a useful parenting thing.
Eating bad food for literal years because you don't want to criticise when someone tried?
not helpful.
And lying about their own skill level so they can follow their kid? Just follow the kid, that's honest, don't... lie.
Lying parents are not a cute story.
Because once there's multiple stories on this pattern then what else is a lie? The kids don't know. It could all be lies.
But I'm not going to say so on a very popular tumblr post because everyone else seems to think it's cute
and presumably trusts that there's only cute happy feels under the lies.
people.