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Aug. 26th, 2019 09:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccaelizabethfanfic reading progress: if people would just tag their human aus appropriately I'd have a much less frustrating reading experience.
tagging it for the other au elements doesn't help because there's no inherent reason werewolves canlt run coffee shops or kingdoms or anything in between, so I keep getting many tens of thousands of words in before I find that no, really, they're just humans having coffee
again.
I dislike many of these aus because it's like they've decides the only way to get over a bad thing is to have it not happen in the first place.
No healing, no growth, just no trauma as the only route to happiness.
it's like doors slamming and I do not like it.
Also there's the frustration where what I'm looking for in the pairing is the powerful thinking the powerless is plenty enough as is, and what many or most authors seem to be looking for is how to make the powerless secretly the most kick ass of all. entirely different fantasies. only sometimes tagged.
frustration.
Also, usually in a fandom the speed of production of new fic limits how long I can read there. but I am reading old fic from a giant fandom. there is. so much. stuff.
I should probsbly stop and read an actual new book at some point.
or write something.
i want two contradictory things from writing too though. same again, one where powerless is enough, the other where my epic mary sue gets to be super awesome. can obviously write different stories, it's just, I start out thinking I'll write the one with the starter character, and then I end up elaborating it until they've secretly been the most awesome all along. and I think it's because habit. like, that's who the protagonist is, right? the one with all the powers. that's who everyone wants to read about.
except I don't think the one with all the powers would think the same things or say the same things as the small person suddenly in a big story. and thpse are things that need saying.
also, if the character is starting all level one at my age, they need a backstory to explain what they've been doing, and 'nothing' is implausible even if true. so then throwing interesting things into their background just makes them a whole other person. boo.
so I end up with these different clashing stories to tell and it's annoying.
especially since it's probably irrelevant since I haven't successfully written anything for a really long time.
but today I am noticing this specific tension behind it. different fantasies. wanting to be powerful, and wanting to be enough as is.
no conclusions. shall remain tricky.
tagging it for the other au elements doesn't help because there's no inherent reason werewolves canlt run coffee shops or kingdoms or anything in between, so I keep getting many tens of thousands of words in before I find that no, really, they're just humans having coffee
again.
I dislike many of these aus because it's like they've decides the only way to get over a bad thing is to have it not happen in the first place.
No healing, no growth, just no trauma as the only route to happiness.
it's like doors slamming and I do not like it.
Also there's the frustration where what I'm looking for in the pairing is the powerful thinking the powerless is plenty enough as is, and what many or most authors seem to be looking for is how to make the powerless secretly the most kick ass of all. entirely different fantasies. only sometimes tagged.
frustration.
Also, usually in a fandom the speed of production of new fic limits how long I can read there. but I am reading old fic from a giant fandom. there is. so much. stuff.
I should probsbly stop and read an actual new book at some point.
or write something.
i want two contradictory things from writing too though. same again, one where powerless is enough, the other where my epic mary sue gets to be super awesome. can obviously write different stories, it's just, I start out thinking I'll write the one with the starter character, and then I end up elaborating it until they've secretly been the most awesome all along. and I think it's because habit. like, that's who the protagonist is, right? the one with all the powers. that's who everyone wants to read about.
except I don't think the one with all the powers would think the same things or say the same things as the small person suddenly in a big story. and thpse are things that need saying.
also, if the character is starting all level one at my age, they need a backstory to explain what they've been doing, and 'nothing' is implausible even if true. so then throwing interesting things into their background just makes them a whole other person. boo.
so I end up with these different clashing stories to tell and it's annoying.
especially since it's probably irrelevant since I haven't successfully written anything for a really long time.
but today I am noticing this specific tension behind it. different fantasies. wanting to be powerful, and wanting to be enough as is.
no conclusions. shall remain tricky.