BFA Torchwood Ianto's Inferno
Mar. 8th, 2025 03:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccaelizabethThis one didn't work for me, even though it is a Ianto story. The title seems entirely wasted and the setup has potential but didn't draw me in. Ianto never seemed to hit an extreme emotion, just got kind of frustrated, and that seems like a wste of possibility.
Basically I want to take it apart and start again with something with a bit of myth structure.
Maybe start with giving Ianto a plausible to the listener motivation, rather than him being entirely obvious throughout.
Maybe make him the devil of the piece, a note he seemed to get close to for entire sentences, sitting in judgement as he was, getting them to tell all their sins.
If there was something he wanted from the two guys then the story might work. If we as well as they could believe he was behind the events. If he didn't arrive with perfect knowledge but had to find something out.
In theory his survival depends on getting these guys on side, but if that's how he goes about it then that's... actually fairly in character. Creepy knowing too much is not instant friendship.
I don't know, it seems like the recipe of the story was decent but it somehow didn't cook.
Or, potentially, I am in a bad mood.
*shrugs*
Basically I want to take it apart and start again with something with a bit of myth structure.
Maybe start with giving Ianto a plausible to the listener motivation, rather than him being entirely obvious throughout.
Maybe make him the devil of the piece, a note he seemed to get close to for entire sentences, sitting in judgement as he was, getting them to tell all their sins.
If there was something he wanted from the two guys then the story might work. If we as well as they could believe he was behind the events. If he didn't arrive with perfect knowledge but had to find something out.
In theory his survival depends on getting these guys on side, but if that's how he goes about it then that's... actually fairly in character. Creepy knowing too much is not instant friendship.
I don't know, it seems like the recipe of the story was decent but it somehow didn't cook.
Or, potentially, I am in a bad mood.
*shrugs*