beccaelizabeth's dreamwidth journal

started typing, ended up with an Andrew pov snippet from a story I may not write for, at current rates of progress, about ten years. Silly and unbetaed.

What kind of chat up would Andrew manage?

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PS yes it is four in the morning over here. I don't know if that constitutes a warning or not.

But I wrote something! Fictional! And possibly coherent!

How I know I'm relaxing about college a bit: I have enough spare worry to restart worrying about the fic currently with a beta reader.

How I know I'm really not entirely relaxed: I figure out that Tuesday is going to happen again relatively soon and I get that horrible oops that was a cliff edge feeling in my stomach.

Also, I am eating.

I realise food intake is actually necessary, but what I mean is I keep wandering into the kitchen, grabbing something to eat, and eating it, no matter how sugary it is or how many times I've decided I don't actually *like* that kind of cake.

Is getting a bit embarrassing.

I think in the next food order there will be much less cakelike. Maybe just double the bread rolls instead.




Been saving screencaps from websites. Have very many Giles, even though I wasn't looking for Giles today. Giles pretty.

Have also many Oz, very very few of them relevant to the project I set out to do, that being an Oz in an academic setting. It turns out that is rather hard to do. So far he turned up for class once, on the first day. Sat next to Willow for Psych that one time, no other times visible. Aside from that I have Oz with a piece of paper, and a whole lot of naked and/or wolfy Oz.
Naked isn't terribly academic, and yet...

Is he ever actually in class in high school? I didn't think so but I haven't exactly looked today.

I think it's in What's My Line he has both weird dark hair and some kind of face fuzz. That isn't a good look on him.
Shades of red, yaay. Brown hair? Unyaay.

I keep thinking maybe I could have icons which look like girls. Academic Willow would be easy to find. But I don't feel particularly Willow-y. Or girly. *shrugs*


Giles has many different shapes of glasses. I like early season 1 because they look kind of like Indiana Jones in this picture I downloaded where he was tweedy in class. I don't like the rectangle frames much. I like when the frames get less visible.
He also spends a lot of time with no glasses on. I wonder how fuzzy the world gets when he does that. If I do that I can still see my feet, pretty much my toes too, but what they're actually standing on is a bit more guesswork than I like. Still, can get around without them okay.
Some people couldn't so much see their nose without glasses. Don't reckon Giles is one of them.
... Actually seeing noses is pretty difficult anyways. Seeing things held around nose level would be more the thing I was thinking.


I ramble.

I think I go sleep soon.

Or possibly eat again.

Summer temperatures are annoying. Right now next to the internet computer, its just about okay. On the sofa it is only hot enough to be irritating and not enough to really justify putting the fan on. In bed? Bet it'll be nasty. But its hard to get that room cool even with the fan.

ANYways


I have a thought but I can't remember where I got the data that sparked it:

I think at some point a writer said that the speech Oz gives in the van to Willow about 'freeze frame, Willow kissage' was designed to make Willow & the audience fall in love with him. That is the writers set out very specifically to make him the sweetest guy on earth and make everyone watching him like him.

So my thought is, Kennedy also gets a speech. Was it intended to have the same purpose?

Its the speech at the Bronze, about when she knew she liked girls, and what K and Willow have in common.

The reason that speech doesn't work for me is the what they have in common part, where Willow's response is that she doesn't like any of that stuff. That right there says that K, despite living with her, doesn't really know her.

And yet she has this great speech about liking girls, and how to know other girls like girls.

The fun part is the process of - of getting to know a girl. It's like - it's like flirting in code.
It's using body language and laughing at the right jokes and - and looking into her eyes and knowing she's still whispering to you, even when she's not saying a word. And that sense that if you can just touch her just once everything will be OK for both of you. That's how you can tell.
(sits back, grins) Or if she's really hot, you just get her drunk - see if she comes on to you.

I love that speech. But it isn't about falling in love, and it isn't about Willow. It isn't specific. It indicates, between this and not knowing what Willow likes, that the important part to Kennedy is that she's a girl who seems available. Its like the meta where we know that she isn't getting a new relationship because the girl in the made up world wants to date someone, she's getting a new relationship because in our world the writers want to make it real clear that she is still a lesbian and that is yaay. The new relationship is about being a lesbian, not being a Willow.

Compare/contrast with Oz "When I'm kissing you, you're kissing me." and refusing to get involved until its really just about the two of them.

The Oz speech succeeds in making the audience fall in love with him (or at least this bit of the audience).
The Kennedy speech succeeds in making the audience quite clear on the fact she is a lesbian.
If the intent was to get us to fall for her, it rather missed.

intermittently I poke around to try finding mantras for Oz

today I found out that Blue Tara is associated with a she-wolf.
Picture of scary looking blue Tara, but other places call that one black Tara.
Wiki reckons Blue Tara is associated with transmutation of anger.
I still looking to find which mantra is that.

there are different traditions. some have 21 Taras.

did find a page full of Tara mantras
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anyways, I put this here so I have it for later.



Also blue
Akshobya
Path of Transmuting Negativity
turns anger into Mirror-Like wisdom

Akshobhya's bija is Hum and his mantra is Om Akshobhya Hum.

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The name Akshobhya means "Immovable" or "Unshakable."
So he gets put together (or mixed up) with Acalanatha, also called Acala (or, as usual, a bunch of other spellings), who is also Immovable, and blue. And one of my favourite statues, with sword and handcuffs, surrounded by flames but sitting on a rock.
But they are quite seperate.

Sometimes muses are contrary and frustrating. I still need to write about Ethan and Giles for ficathons. Yet today's bright idea is about Illyria and Oz. Because in my head it is obvious that Fred and Illyria end up timesharing the same body. And that Fred then has issues about maybe she is really Illyria pretending to be Fred, maybe she is the demon all the time and it only shows sometimes. And also (of course ;) ) Fred ends up dating Willow.

So, obviously, she and Oz *need* to have a conversation. And I already have a plot place where they were going to get equipment from Fred. It makes sense that they get a Fred along with to install it.


The unhelpful thing is, this story is for the card 'Temperance' in a series based around the major arcana of the Tarot.
And I haven't written *any* of it yet.
Why do I keep getting the bright ideas???

*sigh*
*goes to write it down in relevant places*

Is probably a sign of something when you start convincing yourself of the rightness of a pairing where the two characters never met.

Post series
Andrew/Oz
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I had some thoughts about eye color, mostly in fic. Mostly unlikely to interest many people. ( Read more... )

Yes, I spend a lot of time thinking about colors and clothes and light and stuff that is real easy to put into TV shows but going to be a pain in the neck to make subtle in writing. Its how my brain works. In the absence of a multi million dollar budget to actually film the thing then words are all I have to work with.
*reminds self to buy lottery tickets just in case*

I'm reading a fic and I just realised- of course Oz would get tattoos. Body modification is something only humans do. Some tribes even reckoned you aren't properly human if you don't have a tattoo. Art to distinguish oneself from the animal. So, of course, he would have to.

I'm not so sure about the designs he would choose. Probably very varied. Wildness and words.