to whoever is trying to put their bike back together in the hallway

I can see that a bike in many pieces is not going to get them home
so there is clearly a need
but it's two in the bloody morning: This is not the time for tool use.

... they're actually clearly trying to be super quiet, it's just very difficult to bang quietly.

kitchen curtains are not what three in the morning is for

I can find curtains just like I want, in America.
I can find no curtains like I want in the UK.
Except on ebay, shipping from guess where.

again, the way designs go in and out of fashion and are geographically specific, and in this case are printed only on paper, gets really frustrating and for no good reason given modern materials and techniques.