Horror? Boredom.

[beccaelizabeth]

There was a thing on channel 5, I think it was called 'Fear Itself' but I just deleted them all so I can't check. Anyways. I just watched them all.
Well, I say watched, I started out watching, then I watched on fast forward, then I got really really really bored and started watching the first five minutes and skipping to just before the commercials to see how they tried to keep you through the breaks. ... if the breaks were in the right place then they really didn't try and keep you. So mostly I watched the start, predicted exactly what was going on, and watched the end.
100% success rate.
Even for the shocking twists.
Because the genre conventions on horror are so tight, there's nowhere to go. Everyone will end up dead, and the worst possible things will happen. So, a doctor mentions 'he must have found something to eat out there', dude has turned cannibal. Detective won't use a gun, his co worker has a gun in his belt, tada death by friendly fire. Woman wakes up next to an empty booze bottle and an empty pill bottle, it's a zombie apocalypse, oh wow who would have guessed she's a zombie and hasn't noticed.
So. Very. Bored.
There were more episodes. I confess I skipped the one where some dude had writers block. If there is a single way to make a story about being unable to write a story actually an interesting story I have never in my life seen it.
Sometimes they don't end up dead. Sometimes there is a fate worse than death. Those tend to piss me off. Because usually it's 'and he went mad!!!' or, in the last one, he got his legs cut off.
Horror writers of the world: Disability is not in fact worse than death.
I would be swearier about that but... I'm actually just really tired of it.
Every time, it's set up really early and you can see it coming. Do people actually get some kind of horror feeling out of knowing the exact bad thing and knowing the people will never escape? I can see how that could fit the definition horror, but mostly I can't see why they'd bother to watch the rest of the hour.

I have learned this before and now learn it again: Horror is not my genre.

Actually I'm now trying to decide between Urban Gothic, Poltergeist: The Legacy and Supernatural, for three slightly different genres playing with the horror toys. Urban Gothic was horror with a different story every episode but at least some of them worked... I think, if I remember rightly. Maybe because I was much younger and didn't predict them all? But now I'm thinking of watching them over again and obviously know the endings. Well, when I can be bothered to remember them. Actually, the more I think, the more I remember, and so do not feel the need to watch again.
Supernatural has pretty guys and lots of seasons I haven't seen.
I gave up on it because of all the dead women though. That isn't a problem that will go away from watching again.

Nope, just bored.

Blah.

I need to think of something to do with my days.

Comments

[jess goodwin (from livejournal.com)]

I kind of liked Poltergeist: The Legacy. Their attempts at horror were sometimes cheesy beyond belief, but, oddly enough, they were very engaging when they used a lighter, more comic touch. The episodes about wicked Scottish faeries/spooks infesting the house, or the jug of Irish whiskey whose "spirits" were the ghosts of two bumbling thieves, were tremendous fun without sacrificing a sense of danger. The mood whiplash between humor and terror...

Also, Derek de Lint was awesome.