And this is why I prefer slash
Mar. 19th, 2015 11:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccaelizabethI'm getting really sick of the power dynamics in paranormal romance.
That ought not to be a statement with a real meaning. It's a whole genre, there should be any and all sorts going on there. But in the stuff I've actually found and read? It is super creeptastic.
The book I just put down because the internet is more interesting just spent the first 300 pages with the protagonist point of view woman being all 'it's so nice I finally have a male friend I don't want to shag' and then just... decided to have sex with him? Because she's afraid she'll die alone? I was kind of under the impression even the book knew that was unhealthy, but even if, there is now sex.
Or sort of sex. It's actually Very Sexy Magics, with lots of pushing and pulling... power. In and out of each other. There's lots of kissing and touching too, it's just a clothes on activity. So okay, sexy magics can be fun. But the thing they agree to do at the start is described as pulling, where the one pulling decides how much they want to take in, they remain in control, and it is contrasted with pushing, where the other one shoves power in and they don't have to stop when it is too much and there's potential to hurt. So they agree to pull. Specifically. And then half way through he takes control and decides pushing is the thing now, when this has been framed as a quite different sex act with potential for pain and damage. So it's weird and rapey, to set up this entire not-sex thing with the contrasting modes, just so it can go from the nice one with the woman in control to the one with the guy breaking their agreement, taking over, and pushing... and her liking it. It's creepy, and it's set up so she likes it when he's creepy.
And that's not the only thing in the series. Vampires have this whole set of 'instincts' that basically mean that wearing clothes is leading them on, the more you cover the more alluring you're being, leaving is an invitation, and going into a whole different room and shutting the door behind you is secretly being utterly irresistable. It's super creepy, because there is no way of signalling 'no'. Literally none. All the 'no' signals are ways of being alluring to this other species. And then when they go and bite people it's not their fault because their instincts take control.
*spits*
It's not just this one author either. I've read bunches, and the whole set up is instincts and power imbalances and people that just can't help themselves and victims that wanted it really.
I understand wanting a nice power fantasy and being helpless but they'd look after you really, or being irresistable, I can see the appeal in that idea. Except here it is across a whole genre erasing the ability to say no or give meaningful consent.
Vampires pushing their vampiric wiles on people in ways that are explicitly compared to sex really ought to be compared to sexual assault. And sometimes they are. But then after a bit of complaining the protagonist turns out to want it really.
It's deeply fucking creepy and I don't want to play any more.
There's a lot to do with the genre. I draw a line in my head between paranormal romance and urban fantasy, but either way you can have whole civilisations meeting and crunching at the edges and one woman in the middle trying to balance out competing needs and carve out her own life.
But what actually gets done is far too often this garbage where negotiation doesn't match what actually happens, words are ignored, consent is meaningless, and power is all ballsed up because everyone is a slave to their instincts.
I prefer fanfic. Not least because bad fanfic comes with a back button and a few million other fanfics. But reading slash has not had such a consistent pattern of this particular bullshit. Power dynamics don't end up so consistently gendered, for a start, and the 'irresistable' power of sex isn't all a woman has going for her. ... granted there's often an ongoing lack of women, but that's why I keep looking for something more better, even though I keep running into the same old rubbish.
I'm pretty sure it's possible to have magic, elves, fairies, vampires and werewolves, and still have meaningful negotiation and informed consent.
It would just be nice to find more of it in books, and for them to be more clearly labelled.
That ought not to be a statement with a real meaning. It's a whole genre, there should be any and all sorts going on there. But in the stuff I've actually found and read? It is super creeptastic.
The book I just put down because the internet is more interesting just spent the first 300 pages with the protagonist point of view woman being all 'it's so nice I finally have a male friend I don't want to shag' and then just... decided to have sex with him? Because she's afraid she'll die alone? I was kind of under the impression even the book knew that was unhealthy, but even if, there is now sex.
Or sort of sex. It's actually Very Sexy Magics, with lots of pushing and pulling... power. In and out of each other. There's lots of kissing and touching too, it's just a clothes on activity. So okay, sexy magics can be fun. But the thing they agree to do at the start is described as pulling, where the one pulling decides how much they want to take in, they remain in control, and it is contrasted with pushing, where the other one shoves power in and they don't have to stop when it is too much and there's potential to hurt. So they agree to pull. Specifically. And then half way through he takes control and decides pushing is the thing now, when this has been framed as a quite different sex act with potential for pain and damage. So it's weird and rapey, to set up this entire not-sex thing with the contrasting modes, just so it can go from the nice one with the woman in control to the one with the guy breaking their agreement, taking over, and pushing... and her liking it. It's creepy, and it's set up so she likes it when he's creepy.
And that's not the only thing in the series. Vampires have this whole set of 'instincts' that basically mean that wearing clothes is leading them on, the more you cover the more alluring you're being, leaving is an invitation, and going into a whole different room and shutting the door behind you is secretly being utterly irresistable. It's super creepy, because there is no way of signalling 'no'. Literally none. All the 'no' signals are ways of being alluring to this other species. And then when they go and bite people it's not their fault because their instincts take control.
*spits*
It's not just this one author either. I've read bunches, and the whole set up is instincts and power imbalances and people that just can't help themselves and victims that wanted it really.
I understand wanting a nice power fantasy and being helpless but they'd look after you really, or being irresistable, I can see the appeal in that idea. Except here it is across a whole genre erasing the ability to say no or give meaningful consent.
Vampires pushing their vampiric wiles on people in ways that are explicitly compared to sex really ought to be compared to sexual assault. And sometimes they are. But then after a bit of complaining the protagonist turns out to want it really.
It's deeply fucking creepy and I don't want to play any more.
There's a lot to do with the genre. I draw a line in my head between paranormal romance and urban fantasy, but either way you can have whole civilisations meeting and crunching at the edges and one woman in the middle trying to balance out competing needs and carve out her own life.
But what actually gets done is far too often this garbage where negotiation doesn't match what actually happens, words are ignored, consent is meaningless, and power is all ballsed up because everyone is a slave to their instincts.
I prefer fanfic. Not least because bad fanfic comes with a back button and a few million other fanfics. But reading slash has not had such a consistent pattern of this particular bullshit. Power dynamics don't end up so consistently gendered, for a start, and the 'irresistable' power of sex isn't all a woman has going for her. ... granted there's often an ongoing lack of women, but that's why I keep looking for something more better, even though I keep running into the same old rubbish.
I'm pretty sure it's possible to have magic, elves, fairies, vampires and werewolves, and still have meaningful negotiation and informed consent.
It would just be nice to find more of it in books, and for them to be more clearly labelled.