Social is weird

[beccaelizabeth]

There's so many layers of assumptions built in to how people interact.
Like, someone says 'lets meet up' and the group is all yaay and they say 'locations?' and then it's pub pub pub.
so I piped up with, basically, 'how about, not alcohol'

I know why grown ups with jobs say evenings for meeting up, but with enough notice maybe afternoons? or evening but with no intention of staying until pub chucking out time?

I don't know, it seems like people raise the bar a lot without really thinking about it. Like, someone has already said about their access needs for wheels, and everyone's taking that into account with venue suggestions so that's cool, but evenings are kind of exhausting for diurnal people, why make everything be in the late late times by default? and dark times means more crime time so it's actually kind of logic to not do things only then? and alcohol venues are not everyone's cup of tea. why are the default settings also the difficult way?

we used to meet for pizza and lemonade, and then that wore off, because not teenagers any more. ... I can't actually eat the pizza any more, because dairy/lactose, and the lemonade gives me epic hiccups, but in basic principle I miss that being the default option.

I have felt for a long time that some of the difficulty autistic people often have in early adulthood is that the rules all change, not even evolve but just jump change, and nobody bothers to mention it, and the new settings are louder and darker and more drunk and there doesn't seem to be any good reason for it.

humans. shall human different. that will work.




in other and not unrelated news, Facebook is a crash crash wtf experience where the buttons don't do what you think and things go and post themselves and there's no delete I can find. stupid stupid stupid.

Comments

[indraja]

Oh, my fellow tolkienites meet in the pub almost always (meaning each month). Even if we listen to our readings or lecture in some other place, they still want to go to get their beer afterwards (which I do not need at all). But we tend to meet not too late, at 6 or 7 pm. Even 6 pm is too early for some who finish working later, or have a long way to go to reach the Old Town. Afternoons even earlier than this is certainly not possible with people working at least till 5 pm... Except on week-ends. Sometimes we meet in the morning then, especially if we are going for a hike.