And time passes
Feb. 2nd, 2021 06:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccaelizabethIt is an entire new month. The second month of this year.
And I feel like I have spent that twelth of a year thinking
okay, tomorrow I will start...
*sigh*
(also, it is the 2nd, and I'm not sure how that happened.)
I would like to be better at commenting and replying to things, but, most of the time all I can think of is like
🖖🌞👍
head empty, no words here.
there is a limit to how much meaningful communication can fit in three emojis.
I miss the world. I was not very good at interacting with it but I havent been out of sight of my building since March 12th 2020 and it is getting old.
I have been reading all the JLI fic I can find and having major Feelings about it that get tangled up with time travel and second chances and just... sometimes reading feels like looking through a window at friends you arent allowed to visit any more.
... to make a very 2020 comparison.
But however slidey comics timelines are I can't feel like the JLI fits in the modern world, so it's more like seeing a bunch of people who never got to grow up past then, and got younger than me when I wasn't looking.
So like I said, Feelings.
In between I am reading Pathfinder rules because attempting to understand the numbers is calming. Or frustrating. Probably both.
The assumptions about morality and how the universe works and life and death and devils and demons and EVERYthing are really baked in to the rules. Character classes depend on the objective existence of good and evil. But how the game defines them very much does not agree with me. So I want a very different set of stories than mechanically fit with these rules.
And that's before the thing where everything assumes there will be combat, and that successful combat ends with killing.
I dont know if it's just the adventures I've read so far but I havent seen a one where sending ones enemies to prison was even a possibility. Which in two adventures is because the people running the prisons was the enemies. But still.
I think it's because the adventures assume that only these four random people are actually doing anything useful or relevant. It isnt set up for them to be one small part of a system, it is set up for them to become higher level than anyone in the system, four of a handful or level 20s in the country, and they end the adventure path by killing the other one. Doesnt lend itself to thinking in terms of larger structures and bigger teams.
So I'm reading Pathfinder and finding ways it makes it difficult to tell the stories I want to tell baked right in to the maths, and then reading more Pathfinder.
Way to logic, me.
I shall try doing something more focused real soon now.
Maybe get started tomorrow...
And I feel like I have spent that twelth of a year thinking
okay, tomorrow I will start...
*sigh*
(also, it is the 2nd, and I'm not sure how that happened.)
I would like to be better at commenting and replying to things, but, most of the time all I can think of is like
🖖🌞👍
head empty, no words here.
there is a limit to how much meaningful communication can fit in three emojis.
I miss the world. I was not very good at interacting with it but I havent been out of sight of my building since March 12th 2020 and it is getting old.
I have been reading all the JLI fic I can find and having major Feelings about it that get tangled up with time travel and second chances and just... sometimes reading feels like looking through a window at friends you arent allowed to visit any more.
... to make a very 2020 comparison.
But however slidey comics timelines are I can't feel like the JLI fits in the modern world, so it's more like seeing a bunch of people who never got to grow up past then, and got younger than me when I wasn't looking.
So like I said, Feelings.
In between I am reading Pathfinder rules because attempting to understand the numbers is calming. Or frustrating. Probably both.
The assumptions about morality and how the universe works and life and death and devils and demons and EVERYthing are really baked in to the rules. Character classes depend on the objective existence of good and evil. But how the game defines them very much does not agree with me. So I want a very different set of stories than mechanically fit with these rules.
And that's before the thing where everything assumes there will be combat, and that successful combat ends with killing.
I dont know if it's just the adventures I've read so far but I havent seen a one where sending ones enemies to prison was even a possibility. Which in two adventures is because the people running the prisons was the enemies. But still.
I think it's because the adventures assume that only these four random people are actually doing anything useful or relevant. It isnt set up for them to be one small part of a system, it is set up for them to become higher level than anyone in the system, four of a handful or level 20s in the country, and they end the adventure path by killing the other one. Doesnt lend itself to thinking in terms of larger structures and bigger teams.
So I'm reading Pathfinder and finding ways it makes it difficult to tell the stories I want to tell baked right in to the maths, and then reading more Pathfinder.
Way to logic, me.
I shall try doing something more focused real soon now.
Maybe get started tomorrow...
no subject
Date: 2021-02-02 03:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-05 07:00 am (UTC)thanks
*hugs*