beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
New and improved is super annoying. The food today no longer has microwave instructions on it, and I can't remember what it said last time I bought it. So I cooked it for a reasonable length of time and I'm hoping it turned into food correctly.

Food portions are super annoying. Like, hot dog sausages that aren't long enough for hot dogs, and happen in a six pack where the hot dogs happen in fours. Or just that there's four hot dogs in the packet and even if I stuff my face I can only eat... probably two and two thirds, actually, I divided them evenly between six rolls and there's two rolls left.

And I do realise that if I had any cooking skills at all then life and especially food would get much simpler and more reliable, but I tried, and the microwave is the best I can do on my own. And then I keep getting stuck when they new and improve my food away, or remove important nutrients and don't bother to mention.


in other news, food shopping arrived as it should today, and I have tuesday food including apple things to eat. I win.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
slept until 1030 today, later than I have been. woke up all weirdly twisted around like some kind of escher girl comics thing. Also breathing weirdly shallow. Possibly was strangling self just by having head in one corner and body twisted all the other way.

so that's a nice thing to worry about.

dream was incoherent and not plotty, which for me is weird. Lots of running and running and finding people that needed help and trying to carry them back to the help.

It featured Read more... )

And then we met a big boss. Or someone strutting about how we'd fallen into their trap, which was near enough.

They started to tell us exactly how they'd defeated us, but they stopped for a moment to call for a cup of water, and Watson took over the telling. The enemy had been ignoring Watson, which was a mistake, because here magic was tied to narrative and a good storyteller could rewrite the real world's ending. And Watson, at least in a Watsonian sense, is a superb storyteller, writing stories about Sherlock that last through ages. So he took the story and ran with it, and talked us right out of the magic trap, without the hazards I'd fallen into.

Storytelling does take over your life, though, and the way he acquired stories does tend to involve risking everything. Perhaps only a slower hazard than magic, then...

And then Read more... )

That's too many parts for a story. No through line, no plot.

I suppose initially I'm married to a medic and I can magically hear when people call for help, and then we run into danger to do helping. And then a different medic does the helping and I carry stuff.
That's the bones of an adventure plan, with added soap opera layers.

And maybe I have a very small magic to start with, but a very grand old wizard needed the help and my talent got opened up to much more dangerous things. That's got whole 'power corrupts' levels. And add that to the choosing between blokes part and you've got a power that would drag you away from social relationships and you could pour your whole life into pretty rapidly, in ways that would stop you helping again later.

It could be about work/life balance in life saving careers and not burning yourself out trying to save everyone.

Only with magic and demons and so forth.

... other people can probably get on with their day without pausing to impose a proper plot and narrative structure on their dreams...
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Cleaner has been here and gone and the house is clean and nice again.
this is early and I still have monday's jobs to do but it's still a good thing.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Glow in the dark dinosaur t-shirts
for four year olds.
Do the rest of us not deserve them?

It's like how it's super easy to find rainbows and stars things but only in tiny child sizes.

Why are the rest of us supposed to grow up navy and grey?
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I have been having a tough week on top of my usual lingering depression problems, so this feels like a tough meme.

But I can think of these to start with:

Friday thing that makes me happy is Take Away Day, where I get exactly the food I want, if I order it correctly.
Other Friday thing is, Watch Agents of SHIELD. Granted this often leads to complaining, but it's a better quality of complain than not watching.
Saturday is Doctor Who day. ... I'm not keen on Doctor Who lately, but experience suggests it'll change again eventually. Also there is always more Doctor Who. Even just the ones on my shelves right now, I could watch on Saturdays for a really long time.
Sunday is Sunday Breakfast, often with mum and sibling, where I get good food and do some shoppings.
Sunday lately is also Watch a Movie With Sibling, except when interrupted or they don't want to.
And Bath Day is good too. Because bath.

That's six whole things.

Mondays don't tend to be good. I should invent a good thing to add to Mondays. At the moment they're all Contact People and Order Food. Those aren't happy.

Tuesdays are Cleaner Day, and that moment where my best efforts have only resulted in chaos and mess BUT the cleaner turns that into an actual useful home again, that makes me happy.

Wednesdays are sometimes Norwich Science Fiction Group, which is talking about our favourite things, which is pretty good.

Thursdays are sometimes social group. In theory that can be happy making?
Also on the way there I go to the bookshop sometimes and then I have books, which make happy.

And then it's back to Friday again. Huh, that works pretty well.

That's ten things! I am surprised. That's ten things and many of them happen every week :-)

Things that make me happy:
TV, movies, books, audio plays, fanfic, internet forever.
Things being clean.
Nice smells.
Shiny things.
Soft things.

That's like ten categories too.

Many things make me happy :-)

... also I'm notably less depressed than when the psychologist helped me establish a routine with good things in it, so that part worked.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I still have the computer on so may type as I watch... Read more... )
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Also this week and I did not write down because busy:
Survey came back on house I think needs more fixing than I can manage and mum thinks won't need fixing.
... sort of came back. Turns out to be on the wrong house. As evidenced by the outside toilet and 11 windows and passageway, amongst other things.
Cut and paste error apparently, and 'some of' it was from another place.
So with any luck the actual survey will have a fixing-things number much, much lower than that one.
Granted, I might get the satisfaction of being right, but that wasn't really what I was after in this scenario.

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
There was a 'ding', so I got my phone from the hall to check the message.
Only there was no message.
And then there were more 'dings'.
Is it the computer? Is it someone standing outside?
... is it my actual windchimes...?


Been sitting here for hours twitching and poking all the electronics trying to find this thing.

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
There was a long and complicated to do list that involved leaving the house multiple times Read more... )

I did like the bit of the day where I looked at the wallpapers in 3D instead of just on the computer. I like wallpaper shopping lately. If I get a house I might decorate. But as I suspected the problem solving paper designed to go over the top of woodchip is epic ugly. I mean, not to the point of preferring woodchip, that's crazy talk, but, seriously ugly. Most of the embossed patterns aren't much better.

There's wallpaper with silver shiny writing on it, which on the one hand, yaay, writing, but on the other is just inane drivel on repeat. They should do wallpaper with no pattern repeat that's just epic scrolls of out of copyright classics. You could wallpaper your room in book. Granted, you'd have to do impromptu editing to fit the light sockets and electrical sockets in, unless you could be lucky with chapter breaks, and if you had any furniture you'd probably miss the best bits, but you could read your walls instead of just staring into space.

Actually there's places that do digital printed murals and so forth. Maybe that's a for real possibility. That would be cool. Though of course you always could just print it out yourself, but papering the room in A4 is less fun than it sounds. I stopped before I finished the door even. Getting a whole book to line up would take aaaaaaages. Proper wallpaper would be better.

... but then you'd have to choose which books...
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I would like to like this one. I liked Clara's dress, that's going to be cosplay gold for ages. And I liked the actual robots.

But... Read more... )

I'm sorry, I keep poking the story to try and find nice things to say about it and I'm not coming up with any.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Today I met with A to catch up more than a year after she stopped being employee. It was fun and interesting to chat.
We went to Namaste in Opie Street off Castle Meadow. All vegetarian, mostly vegan. Very awesome food. We both got Masala Dosa and then we both got take away tins to carry the other half home. Big food, very nice. It's a crispy crepe around a squishy filling with a lentil soup and a ... something in very small bowls for spooning small bits onto food. I didn't like the small spoon stuff, but I liked the soup plenty as a thing to dip the crispy stuff in. The best bit is the filling though. ... mostly because it's a new but not too new way to prepare potato. I know, order least spicy thing, have nice restaurant people tell how to eat it, feel silly. But now there's a whole menu where I can very probably digest all of it.

I ate the other half of the food now when I got home. Possibly it has been in the tin a long time but it's too tasty so I ate it anyway. Good food.

So then it was the NSFG and the topic of the night was Doctor Who. And we stayed on topic for whole numbers of minutes. There were 6 people today, the conversation kept going, everyone caught up with A, it was proper social and talky. ... and mostly complaining about DW, but that's what always happens. I think everyone prefers it from when they were kids, mostly. Two people liked it now though, and we all liked bits, so that works.

Much talk. Many goings. And then getting back to the Castle Mall car park and trying to figure out how you even get in at this time of night. There's like one door that works.

And then on the way home there was maybe mist in town but as soon as we got out a bit it was MIST and then fogs and woah where road all this white stuff hey it went away again woah it's back. All the way home. So that was... well, that's all done, home now.

That was a very good evening that was.

Got back at midnight precisely, so did not update HabitRPG before midnight. I did the things, but did not tell it so, so I lose healths anyway. I think I could fix that, but is okay, I know what I did.

And now I've told the internet all about it I should probably go to bed.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Cleaner is here. Pre cleaner jobs were accomplished. Rubbish in the bins, rubbish taken out by cleaner, bins back where they belong.
I'm just super jumpy today so every clack or clang makes me try and push through the back of this chair.
Which is a recliner, so that's less than helpful.

Read more... )

If I get a new house I will need to make sure I still get a cleaner.

Also discover when it is polite for people to go across back gardens to get to the back door. There are probably unwritten social rules to go with the one where it is legally permitted. But back doors are for all the practical things like shoppings so it arrives where the fridge is.

Cleaner all done now I can hide in other activities while bravely running the laundry.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Sunday Breakfast happened, and I bought a £1.99 magazine, because it had 100 tips for moving house.
... I can dream.

Read more... )

I like Sundays. There's food, there's a movie, it's all good.

If I move to Norwich we will need to modify the routine. We discussed that today at lunch. Read more... )

All the other plans get a lot easier in Norwich.

So we'll see.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Interesting dream where everyone was shapeshifters but what you could turn into was... kind of like what sport you're good at, a combination of genetics and practice.
Read more... ) teenage shapeshifters choose their gender/sex through what they do, but the story of society tells them it's already chosen for them, which leads to some ignorant accidents, some of them procreative.
Read more... )
Shapeshifters are most malleable when they're teenagers, and become to some extent fixed when fully adult. Read more... )
But with the gender shifts being tied to procreative hormones, a menopausal woman would be less inhibited, would have new shapeshifting possibilities again. That would mean both the ability to grow wings and the ability to turn into a male, if they felt like it. But only if they ever learned how, which lessons tend to be gender segregated.

Also society is very anti ageing, and using your elder wings would involve public declaration of elder status. Women might talk themselves out of it just to appear younger. Read more... )

I think I rather like these wings and things as defamiliarisation.

It seems like a good setup for talking about the social construction of... everything, really, gender and power and race and everything, but by putting bat wings or seal skins on it then the debate goes sideways and doesn't get stuck in the old familiarities.

Though I was thinking that darker skin would probably be useful for people that fly, because closer to the sun, and then they'd be the socially dominant ones. But black skinned people with big bat wings seems... problematic. So maybe when they shift they can just change their skin color, and it's no big thing to anyone? I don't know, that's like erasing it, but not the same way that making everyone white erases things.

So this one could be proper plotty, even though it's logically all teenagers again, and I dislike how all the stories are about teenagers.

I could tweak my own invention to get around that.
Or just write about more people and how they've navigated the setting's constraints.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I did not have fun.
Which is kind of sad.
Read more... )

This felt more like a piece of an arc than a whole thing, even though the plot clearly was complete in itself. The character stuff seems ongoing, and I don't know as I like where it's going.

whiny whiny, we all know I'll watch next week anyway


Aug. 28th, 2014 12:46 pm
beccaelizabeth: fizzgig from The Dark Crystal is having a shouty tantrum made of sharp teeth. (tantrum)
(Icon of many teeth and also of tantrum)

I went to the dentist. On my own, because I still have no employee. It is hard.
Read more... )

And I want a sidekick for dentist appointments.
I miss my employee.

It sucks doing things on my own, I don't like it.

On the plus side I did achieve it, and now it is all done for another six months.

As soon as I stop feeling sick and sulking I plan to be proud of that.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I booked a Sainsburys delivery for 12-1pm.
At 1045 they phoned and asked if they can deliver early.
This is a new record. But at least they did phone. And not turn up at the door while I was in the bath like ASDA did that one time.

Now I get to find out if my back will cooperate with the delivery stuff.

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I hope my neighbours are having a nice safe albeit noisy day.
Fire alarms and a fire engine, at a different front door to the same building, so I get to sit in my flat and not be in the rain which is nice.

There are too many fires around here. Read more... )

I do hope my neighbours are happy and well, I'd just kind of like to be further away and safer.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Double checking the ingredients list and realising at some point they stopped having calcium in my juice.
It's there on the Tesco website version, it was there for a really long time in the boxes, but it isn't in there any more.
So now I don't know how long it has been that I've not been getting the calcium I previously calculated, and I have to figure out another source, probably in pill form because I do not control these foods.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
well, today basically worked. I didn't bring the shopping trolley because back ouch, and then my handbag turned out to be too heavy, so mum ended up carrying my handbag and my shopping. Yaay mum.

But we went to get breakfast, and I bought some bread and a magazine and Captain America The Winter Soldier on DVD, and then me and sibling watched it at my house. So we're only just done and we started the doing things part of the day at 1330. But now I'm :-)

... sibling drew on my chair. I don't even know where they got the pen. Always with the random ink on things.
but aside from that :-)

We watched the one deleted scene that's on the DVD but it wasn't very interesting.
The movie is excellent though.
There's a ton of small things I hadn't noticed from remembering it at the cinema.

Captain America :-)
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
The trouble with getting new Doctor Who for my birthday is it feels like a birthday present. So now I feel pretty much like I do most years when I get a present from mum. That is: They tried, but we like such different things...

Read more... )

I kind of want to go play in fanfic instead.

It's just that feeling that I'm unlikely to get what I'm looking for from here.

But then I'm not sure I can clearly articulate what it is I want instead.

So then I just feel whiny.

but since i'll watch next week like usual they probably don't care.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Today is an excellent birthday.
Even with the thunder cracks and rain drum on the hallway roof.

I had a bath, even with the back pain. I took a stick and my phone in case of problem. And then mum came round. So I texted her why I wasn't answering the front door, but she didn't get them until she'd been here ten minutes. She elected to wait in the hall while I finished, because raining.

I have three birthday cards, including butterfly temp tattoo, and a rose because I liked the rainbow ones. The important bit was 'rainbow' not rose, but okay, I have a flower now. It's yellow for sunshines.

Mum also brought chocolate brownie bites, which is what I asked for, so win.

And then when my sibling got in for the weekend they phoned and said happy birthday. And then wandered off without the handset while still talking to me, because autistic and hasn't quite got the hang of phones, but mum says they remembered on their own and were happy it was my birthday, so that's pretty awesome going.

They aren't visiting today cause it's Sunday breakfast tomorrow anyway.

And mum didn't stay here long because I was going to play Sims and it's boring to watch.

But I'm happy with my birthday nonetheless.

It's also the one day a year Facebook and people on it remember I exist, so I'm vaguely trying to remember my password so I can say thanks and see what people are doing, but mostly I don't do Facebook because Facebook.

My only task for the rest of the day is staying awake and watching Doctor Who.



Aug. 23rd, 2014 10:05 am
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Happy birthday to me
*xfingers* Read more... )

beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Takeaway achieved, by delivery guy.
I'd always rather be more presentable when there's a delivery guy. It seems like the messier I am the nicer looking the delivery guy is.
... *considers experiment meant to evoke Robert Downey Jr levels*...

Also the buy a house plan is actually chugging along in its groove too. There's still surveys and maths about money to do, but *xfingers* things seem to be going this time. Which would be nice, because nice location and stairs I can get up and down and a bathroom off a little lobby like I wanted.

Mum says we can go look at it again before I absolutely positively decide, which is good, because I keep pondering more things. Also wondering if the repairs will be as simples as mum thinks or as not simple as I think. But if mum is correct then things look interesting.

I am watching Fringe season 4 and I'm just fed up of it. Read more... )

Also I have a headache, and my back still hurts, and I seldom see interesting TV when in pain, funnily enough.
But I think it's more in general I don't like where the story is going and keep only watching one or two episodes and being bored.

Astrid is good though.

Think I'm going to go read books.

I've been reading more Renshai books by Mickey Zucker Reichert, and they do get better as they go along, but I'm so EPIC bored of teenagers and love triangles that it's taking me ages to drag through reading them again. I mean, important things could in theory happen to teenagers, but mostly they're stupid and don't know they're stupid yet, and yet books keep treating them like the only important life phase. Like, one generation of teenagers have an adventure, then a series will blink until the next gens are teenagers too. Not interesting!

But these books do have two women and three female characters in the main party, plus some other women, and ongoing acknowledgement that half the world are women. Now if only they could spend time thinking about something other than men. Well, more than a paragraph or two. Even when one is thinking of being the best with a sword they're thinking in terms of matching a particular male's skill. Why is the story never about growing up to be as cool as your mother? I miss Black Canary.

... oh, I was trying to change the subject to one I wasn't grumpy about, that kind of didn't work there...

Still. Books. Or internet forever.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Due to reasons of being a crazy person I am a little apprehensive about the remaining time before my birthday.
At some point in my youth I ... I was going to say decided, but it felt more like realised, because crazy: I started thinking I was going to die age 36.
This was back when I was doing tarot and casting stones and trying to learn astrology and basically big into the idea that the future was predictable. I think bad predictable was more appealing than chaos.
So here I am, the day before my 37th birthday, and I'm much less crazy now so I'm not actually freaked out like I thought I would be, but, I'm also planning to stay inside and do nice safe things until after my birth minute tomorrow. Because you never know.
... and I realise being wrong by a minute/hour/day would also be funny, so, this one isn't going to wear off entirely until after the weekend.


My birthday is of course Doctor Who day, so that's nice.

Any plans to do more and interesting things are waiting on it not being bank holiday weekend, and my back not hurting. My back is probably a bit better today, but it definitely hurts. Which is irritating.

After my birthday I'll need plans for the next 36 years. Or the next year. One of those.
The buying a house plan is a bit helpful but then I need plans for what to actually do once I live in it.
Assuming that house plan ever works, cause it do take time.

I was thinking that last time I looked it up I could join the UEA library without actually being a student. So then I could go choose interesting looking academic books and do self directed studying. Studying what I was told to got really annoying, but maybe it would be more interesting if I decide which what to do?

There's also the Forum library, which has a great many books with a library card I already have. Read all the things.

There's book clubs at the Forum, so that's nice. I realise in theory I could be going to them now, but due to bus shenanigans I'd have to either wait an hour and a bit at the bus station on my own late at night, or spend £25 on a taxi. Also going to new things alone is difficult. But if I was already in Norwich it would get much easier. Especially if I could walk home, but I need to get advice on what time of night I should definitely not be walking on my own, because people seem to start worrying at 9pm or after dark. Ideally I shouldn't be on my own much, but the government have taken everyone's money away, so I lack employee, so that's a problem.

There's a book club at Waterstones too. Books are awesome.

There's the AS social group, but they've chosen a bunch of annoying things I can't join in with until December.

There's the Norwich Science Fiction Group, which could be a bit more group like, because at the moment it's mostly Norwich Science Fiction Two Guys Having A Beer, except on rare occasions I can actually get there. Maybe there's more ways to advertise it?

I know there's at least two other science fiction groups, I should look them up and try again there. Might be conversations I haven't had yet.

There are probably other things that are not books or science fiction.

I was doing dancing lessons until I couldn't get there. From Norwich it'll be easier to get there. Even if taxi. Dancing is nice, but not couples dancing, more patterns. So Bollywood was nice and convention dancing is good too but infrequent.

There's the Buddhist center, with meditation and so forth often, both at lunch and in the evening. I liked meditation.

That's actually a bunch of things there. Probably things in all the weeks, probably more than one thing a week. So that would be nice.

So that's my plan for next year. Mostly things I've tried before, but actually working this time.



beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)

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