beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I am so grumpy right now. Grumpy grump.

I went through the two foot tall stack of catalogues from roughly 1999-2000.
I couldn't just chuck them out as irrelevant, despite their contents being 15 years out of date, oh no, I had to look through them.
And now I'm just several directions of grumpy at once.
Like, thank fuck it is not 2000 any more. That decade sucked. Yaay the new millennium.
Why did I want to revisit this stack of old documents? Oh yes, I did not want. Great! All done, in the bin.
(well, on the bin, the recycle bin is very full now)
but the other direction of grumpy is, like, where did all the colours go?
And the curtains. I could find a bunch of different kitchen curtains in these things, but in the recent ones, nope, none, can't find them no more.
Carpets are the worst. At the moment you can buy 'neutrals' in any shade you want as long as it's grey, cream or beige. It's really hard finding blues. But every page in this old catalogue has a whole rainbow in every texture and pattern. It's as if they thought people wanted choice. Who knew?

And it's weird because all the furniture looks the same as the other catalogues but very little similar to current offerings. And really, someone had to have liked it, someone bought that stuff. There has to be someone sitting around on their 'on trend' square edges neutral grey sofa being totally grumpy because where are the overfilled rounded primary colour checked sofas of yesteryear? Those were cosy! Why is nowhere selling those?
... I am not the one thinking this, I couldn't find a single thing in two feet of catalogue I wanted except kitchen curtains and some furniture pretending it was stacks of books, but if the internet teaches us one thing it is that somebody somewhere wants anything. So why does everywhere sell the same trendy tat all at once? Stupid!


So I'm grumpy in the 'huh, the bad old days, boo' way and also in a 'where did that go and why can't I visit?' way and then I just feel double grumpy because my head is inconsistent.



I do still like kind of the same themes, if not the same exact things. Stuff with nice writing on, stuff with stars and moons and so forth, stuff that looks like books. I don't know if I liked rainbows or sparkly stuff because they weren't selling it. But that's my basic themes then and now.


I shall probably try and sleep now, seeing as its three in the morning.

I'll be glad to have gone through the last half dozen boxes, then I can stay in 2015 where I currently belong.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Nuns? Both of them?
I guess someone noticed that having girl of the week every week and a whole parade of Mac's exes kind of makes him look bad and looks monotonous.
So this week Mac and his best friend Pete go to rescue a couple of nuns. Who are their exes. Who left them for God.

I'm pretty sure that's not meant to be hilarious, but seriously, both of them?
It would be funnier if this is why they're friends, like, there's a support group for guys who get dumped for the big guy, but no, this is just a coincidence.



I don't know what the very end of the episode is like, because CBS Action doesn't record properly, but that's just... I don't see how they'd improve on that.
Nuns.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
of the two books I got out the Forum library, one is one I've read before but didn't find memorable enough to know that for sure until half way through, the other says it is part 1/3 in the second of two trilogies but I think from the way it handles info dump in the first two chapters is 4/6. I've decided I can't make enough sense of it to bother reading the rest.

so that's frustrating.



in other news I continue to clean and tidy. mum wants the inherited guitar, so that's waiting in the hall for her to pick it up... and kind of creeping me out, actually, that's unhelpful. I also tidied under the desk because clearly I don't need two empty Converse boxes, and the pretty blue bottle doesn't live under there, though I'm unconvinced I cleaned it enough times for it to be proper clean. It is washed, the sink is washed, this is as clean as it gets.

I'm hoping to clear enough space to put the ex computer parts under the sort of ex computer desk, and then I'll have space to move boxes in to while I look through them.

failing that I'll just have more tidy area than usual.




I'd have even more if I could persuade myself to throw out old converse. They're such pretty patterns! But they're shoes, and broken. But pretty! But broken. But...!
:eyeroll:

It'll be worst when the sparkly glitter ones go. Or don't go, despite passing the point of usefulness.

Clearly all shoes must be replaceable forever. I wouldn't have this problem if I could just get new and improved versions instead. I'd have to actually decide between patterns before I go out, and mum ... is not keen on many of them, but I wouldn't have this problem.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I have been watching MacGyver. It's... well, it's quite a lot rubbish, really. I like the Solve It With Science sections, but humans do not work like this, it's annoying.

Weirdest is the way they ration roles for women. There is one woman per episode. Read more... )

... yet I'm getting ever more defensive purely inside my own head about why I keep watching stuff that doesn't meet my minimum standards on women and ethnicity.



I was thinking how on earth the numbers can skew so badly. I give up on the Smurfette stuff, the single woman in the Man Story, it is a depth of no sense I cannot figure.

I was thinking though about Tosh and Gwen. Different shows, Tosh in Torchwood, Gwen in Merlin. I can see how you end up with one woman of colour in a season. Read more... )

That math only works one episode at a time though.

If you count the main cast once and only once, you get to the end of the season and realise you've got 1/42 women of colour, 2%, because they were always the same one.

So even if people are paying attention to the maths, there has to be someone with the grand view, the whole season view, before this problem is apparent. Read more... )



I have no grand conclusions. Just that a lot of TV needs marking Could Do Better.
And it should be really simple to fix, if someone is paying attention.


Numbers:
http://beccaelizabeth.dreamwidth.org/tag/counting
http://beccaelizabeth.livejournal.com/1747350.html
http://such-heights.dreamwidth.org/238121.html
http://dsudis.livejournal.com/496173.html
http://characterscount.pbworks.com/w/page/15546210/FrontPage
beccaelizabeth: lion Prince John sucks his thumb as his crown falls down (thumb)
Accidentally opened a box containing records from 1996-2000, aka The Most Miserable Part.
Blergh.
Suspect this is why I didn't touch these boxes for 15 years.

next time I shall label the outsides.

the rest of today I shall watch cartoons and close the box again.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
The pile with the 1999 catalogue on top turns out to get older as it goes down, so I found 3 issues of Verbatime from 2005 down there.
(I no longer remember what Verbatim is, so that'll be interesting to rediscover)

So that means the pile isn't 16 years old! ... it's 10.
... technically an improvement.

Read more... )



ugh, dust.

but remarkable amounts of floor space.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I shoved everything laundry looking from the long term storage corner into the washing machine, along with the dusting mitten that is now super dusty.
... turns out the packet says that thing is hand wash only. which is funny cause it goes on your hand. but I already tried hand washing it and it stayed manky and smelt worse, so it's in the washer machine.

I don't know what some of the super dusty things actually are under the dust. Probably a sheet? t-shirts with maybe stuff on? ... oh, I hope it wasn't signed. ... no, the signed one is still hanging up. And I did look, I just don't know why I have those. or why I put them in a box. did I just mean to get them out again later? They certainly don't seem like a long term memories collection. they aren't con shirts or anything.

one of them is the top I fell asleep in in the field at sixth form, where I got all sunburned along the neck line, hence getting called Robin for a while. did I at some point decide that was a really crucial high school memory? Because, note to earlier self, I do still find that quite memorable enough without the t-shirt. sunburn is owie.

there's a nightie that was a present from grandma and that looks like it was a present from grandma and already I was too old to want nightwear that looked like grandma presents with lace edges and teddy bears on it. That's just a not mixy set of things there.

I worry that everything will all go weird colors in the wash but then it has been in boxes for a couple of decades now so it won't be any less useable that way.

probably the reason they're in the box is that I've never been any good at getting rid of stuff so instead of sending things to the charity shop I put them in the box. that would make sense.


there's probably more stuff in the boxes but I'm at that stage where the stuff needs somewhere to go that is not boxes, in order to reach more stuff that is lower in the boxes. not simples. already there is stuffalanche happened.

maybe I've got room in bags somewhere...
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Why do I have a poster for California Man?
I know how I have a poster for California Man, it's from the video shop, they put them in a box when the video stopped being a new release.
I just, you know, why?

Does anyone actually want a poster for California Man?

Wait, this is the internet, somebody somewhere wants it.

How do I connect up that one person with this rather good condition poster for California Man?



I have no clue what else is in that box. There's pristine mint condition posters in there, all rolled up in plastic with a number on the end. Presumably I once knew what was inside them. I suspect it's something to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I just have no idea now.


I think there's also a stash of the grey alien posters I collected during my X-files phase, and probably that giant poster of GA & DD I used to have on my ceiling.
Interesting day to be rediscovering those.
... I'm vaguely hoping I threw the aliens out at some point previous, though, those things freaked me out, I totally dreamed abductions, it was Not Cool.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
next to the pile that starts with 'guide to windows 98'
there's a homewares catalogue for Autumn 1999.

I have a 16 year old junk mail pile.

How have I not disturbed that whole corner of the room for 16 years?
... wow, that's embarrassing...
... so of course I tell the whole internet...
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
So I dreamed something that seemed pretty awesome, but then I woke up and was, like, and my audience would be?
And then I realised, fanfic. There is always an audience.

... virgin princess Clint / Dragon Coulson, not even very much an AU.

The basic theory was that SHIELD runs a dating service because otherwise lonely SHIELD agents go around putting their details into databases, and SHIELD would rather they look after each other, even if they have some kind of unusual needs. Read more... )
Phil is a tuxedo dragon once he transforms. He's black and white until you look closely, and then he's iridescent and shimmering, with a white belly. I know exactly where to blame for that, and all the x is a dragon stuff my subconscious lately turns up, it's the Flight Rising dragon breeding game, you have to name the dragons and so you end up making super teams of them. I think he's a Guardian dragon, they look good and their whole reason for being is to protect. Be the shield.
Read more... )


... why is my imagination full of genderqueer mpreg dragons...



I've spent actual plural hours writing this down.

... aaaaand that's just me kind of chickening out of actually writing this, isn't it? Like, if I write it, it might not be to everyone's taste, but somebody somewhere will read it, so that's not even the issue.


I'll see if this is still in my head after I sleep again.
beccaelizabeth: Lady Frankenstein plugs her brain in (net access)
yesterday's half hearted attempt at cleaning the corner apparently disrupted local stability in such a way that it all went splat and thump thud while I was trying to sleep this morning. And then there was a lot more dust. So I'm itchy and I have a large cleaning task to do so it'll stop falling down.

I cleaned the outside of the purple drawers and moved them into the front room, also moved things on shelves so the lamp can be on there, and next will clean and move the silver drawers. After that the corner might be somewhere humans can go.

blergh. tasks. in addition to the usual tuesday tasks.
and I can't do the vacuum cleaning until I've moved the things ANYway, because plugs.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I tidied a bit in the corner behind the bed.

Read more... )


in other news I am so epically bored I tidied a bit in the lost corner behind the bed and the drawers and the other drawers that I have not even been able to get at for a great many years.

... that's kind of like progress, only with more dust.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
So this morning I dreamt a plague apocalypse that killed up to 97.5% of people. I was thinking that was maybe too many. As in, the stories kind of run out if there's no longer a self sustaining population.

But GURPS Space reckons a colony world can be self sustaining with a population of 10K (see page 90). It's a guess, but we can work with it. It also has some ideas about tech levels and how they may or may not work after major population crashes, see page 180. It reckons TL8, which we have now, needs a population of 100 million or more, and since they're talking space colonies they're presumably talking planetary. Lower tech levels require smaller populations, and a town of a few thousand can be self sufficient and self sustaining at TL4.

Read more... )

You know, the main thing you learn when researching the end of civilisation is it don't seem all that difficult to break it all. We're remarkably fragile, as it stands. I'm kind of thinking that any serious plague apocalypse just kills everyone. Like, everyone everyone. Because what the plague don't kill the sudden collapse of infrastructure will.

That answer hasn't much story in it though.



Okay, so the story in this is that civilisation will cluster up around the water and power sources. The power is needed to keep the water flowing. You could have little islands that are doing pretty okay, and they'd have people flock to them, if they heard about them. So then you get actual overcrowding problems in a world with 2.5% of the population? Assuming they get past the transport problems. Slight lack of buses, probable surplus of abandoned cars blocking the roads.

Read more... )


I think this morning's dream is from a couple of generations after the big crash. Some places would have gathered around generators and water supplies and kept up their basically TL8 society, probably staying in contact around the world. Others would be more isolated, hence more likely to get quirky fast.


Read more... )


It seems to me like dropping tech levels or losing the global transport network even for a little while would be seriously more difficult than just surviving at that lower level was in the first place. The resources got torn up and used up, it's a different landscape now.

The sort of immediately post apocalypse story that concentrates on looting for survival and the sort where there's significant rebuilding kind of have a really big gap in between.

Read more... )

A generation after a big crash is an excuse to have whatever patchwork you can think up.


Read more... )


If you want a perfectly ordinary world in the bit of the city the protagonist lives in, but have it be in contact with... anything you can dream up, then that's plausible enough to be going on with.



Also, if the plague is making people magic, that... that makes the odds do whatever you want. The large scale effects of a Purify Water spell would be just like having your own generator. Civilisation would clump around magic users too, if they could provide for them. A very different civ than the ones blaming the magic users for the plague, of course, and plenty close enough to put them in conflict.


I still reckon cities would mostly empty out though. Between fires and disposal issues they're going to be really nasty really fast. But then at some point they'd be down to smouldering wreck the scavengers have been at. Would people even want to move back in? Depends what kinds of shinies are still there, I guess.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
The thing I hate about speaking out loud is it's always first draft.
Plus the stuttering and the thing where the words jumble.
But mostly, it's first draft, it's the thing you just now thought of, you don't have the time or resources to properly cite sources or look up the details, it's just mouth noise imitating brain noise and now everyone can hear it.

So then conversations come back to me days, weeks, years later, pasted over with the 'citation required' signs, with every kind of editor marks, and noticing all the times I not only failed to make my argument but managed an internally inconsistent statement right there where everyone was listening.

It's really difficult to adjust my standards of true down to pub levels. Pub true means it was the thing I thought I remembered at the time. That's clearly not true enough.

... it is for most humans most of the time, I get that, but that's part of why humans are really frustrating.
they do not do the reading and then they say things out loud which they only think are true.
how do we even function like that?

... yeah, that's... I have a problem, this is my problem in my head, but my head will not shut up about it.

I want to go back, edit, and rewrite, all my out loud talkings for... always.

ugh.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Yesterday I bought bread, quorn slices, mayo and salad, to make new and improved sandwiches.
... today I ate all the bread, quorn slices, and mayo.
so, I think it is safe to call the mayo a success?
but I need to go shopping again before there's anything to eat the salad with.
*facepalm*
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Went to sleep after 5, woke up 0730 (ha), 1230 (blergh), 1530. Now I'm all enthusiastic about the latest way I dreamed the world ended / restarted.

Read more... )


... many people would experience dreaming of post apocalyptic witch hunts as a nightmare, but here I am feeling all chipper and enthusiastic. Writers!
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
today I watched a bunch of MacGyver in a row and they were more stupid that way.

female character of the week gets really boring. Read more... )
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I'm vaguely irritated by all the 'what if everything was HYDRA!' MCU theories.
Because then it's like, what if there's secretly only one enemy?
Read more... )

Flattening out the world until there's only HYDRA vs the good guys is kind of creepy, and removes all incentive for reflection, as long as you think you've avoided being an actual nazi. Boring.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I'm getting really sick of the power dynamics in paranormal romance.
That ought not to be a statement with a real meaning. It's a whole genre, there should be any and all sorts going on there. But in the stuff I've actually found and read? It is super creeptastic.

Read more... )


I'm pretty sure it's possible to have magic, elves, fairies, vampires and werewolves, and still have meaningful negotiation and informed consent.

It would just be nice to find more of it in books, and for them to be more clearly labelled.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
The AS women's social group started up again, 5-6pm at the library, meaning I could get there AND get home again. So I went. And there were only the 4 of us but that's okay. Talking to humans, achieved! And one of the others has been trying to move house too, so we had talkings on that topic, and it is Not Simples. Many houses, much stuff. I talked also of studying, because others also connected to the UEA. And I mentioned Doctor Who. So that's my topics all talked of. I always fear I talk too much, but I think it was okays, mostly. I shall go again next month, I think.

Then there were two hours between that and the Norwich Science Fiction Group at the Ribs, so I figured I might as well hang around for that. Which costs like £30 to get home from, but I haven't been for long long long. Much talkings there. I do not fear I talk to much in that context. 4 blokes, all plenty good at talking, less good at passing the talk along. Also one of them thinks that one must Win at conversation. Their thought on their topic is correct, and all others are fighting that. It is not the most fun way to do conversation, to my mind. I prefer oh look at the shiny. But, talkings, lots of them.

And in between I got some library books, because already at the library, and discovered my card had sort of run out and they needed to check where I lived and tell it I'm still me. So I made it work again and got two books out. One of them is from a series and I can't remember where in the series I left off, just that I decided not to buy any of them because not quite that good. So I got the earliest one they had. I can't remember if I've read it, which hopefully means I haven't, but I suspect means it just wasn't that memorable. I also got a book I hadn't heard of by someone I haven't read before, so that'll be more interesting, one hopes.

I need to get new headphones that actually work again cause I can't block things out with music until I get them. But things were okay, mostly. It's on account of doing nothing for long stretches, I save up.

Now I am very most much exhausted. All these words are taking extra tries at typing. Blurry world.
Sleep soon.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I'm watching MacGyver... and having to revise my standards a bit, since usually if a new show gets to black guy dies then I give up and try something else. Plus the ongoing problem of one girl per episode. If I'm going to stare at RDA for an hour a day, I'm going to have to ignore the racism and sexism, or possibly just accept that they do seem to be trying cause there are people of colour and women around and being mostly competent, they just have to fail in order to leave room for the white lead to look good.

I'm also wondering if... no, how much more random junk we know nowadays, because internet. I mean, the show relies on Mac being smarter, more knowledgeable, and more flexible than the average random person, and that sets it up with a big problem because if the audience is ever ahead of him it screws with the premise. Not ahead in the 'the camera just showed us the important parts' way, that's following, more like if we happen to know more about the setup and can guess an important thing that he's about to walk in to.

Except actually a lot of the fun for the viewer is to occasionally feel smarter than the smart guy? So really, it's more about making him seem smart enough that when the viewer ends up yelling at the screen they feel pretty good about themselves.

But I was just thinking that the kind of vaguely sciencey facts that the writers must have amassed to get these plots together have become vastly simpler to know. So the audience is going to be ahead much more often, and sometimes the story is just going to look kind of stupid.

Plus, this show has existed, these tricks are out in the world now, however worky or not worky they are, watching the reruns means he has to measure up to characters who built on him already. Kind of unfair.

Read more... )




The ways this show is like SF in its attitude to the world, but is clearly an establishing text of action series, are currently kind of fascinating me. It's like a new toy. With pretty.

Patriarchy

Mar. 17th, 2015 03:13 pm
beccaelizabeth: Knight with sword out, defiant; word balloon says NO. (No)
I'm browsing wall art, big framed posters and so forth, and they're mostly SF and superhero stuff.
They're also all men.
Paging down like men, men, violent men, men men men, Marilyn Monroe with her skirt blowing up, men men men.
There are more pictures of puppet Yoda than there are of women. There are more of Daleks.

Sometimes I'm just going through my day, lalala, not really thinking about stuff, and then BOOM, Patriarchy! And it's so ugly blatant I just... no.

In related news, I'm not buying any Avengers merchandise that thinks there's only four team members.
And we really need lady superhero merch.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Today I have completed Sunday jobs (yes they dragged on a bit this week), had a bath, done half the vacuuming (the cleaner got here and it was her turn to use the vacuum, I still need to do the front room), filled and run the dishwasher, filled and run the laundry, took the sheets off and put them in the laundry basket, and had juice and toast for breakfast. And let the cleaner in and out again. That leaves like one job for Tuesday jobs and they'll be All Done. Pretty good going.

Read more... )
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Today worked pretty good. It's Mother's Day so we... did what we always do but with more displays of mother related things? I chose the nicest card but mum looked at it and put it back instead of actually buying it. And I won £2 on the scratch card so I gave it to mum for luck.

So we had foods and bought foods and then sibling visited to watch a movie. Which I thought went pretty well. I have arranged the front room so the chairs are side by side instead of behind each other, and also more comfortable chairs are usable. So that worked.

But then I discovered that instead of using the paper in the notebook he brought, which was his, and I had made sure that he had available, he went through my folders to find spare sheets of unused paper and stole them. Bad. Much grumpy. Very annoy. So he can't visit next week because he was bad. We told him that and that it was his fault and he nodded, so hopefully he won't do it again. Since we don't even do this every week anyway it is not much of a change, but he had been saying we'd watch the next film next week, and now we won't because paper theft.
... it might sound small but I have piles of stuff around here and he really shouldn't be going through them, especially not to nick pieces. Annoyance.

We watched Batman Returns, the one with Catwoman. Read more... )

so movie is interesting but the good bits version in my head did not keep very much of it, and I tend not to rewatch.

... I pretty much just mean Catwoman is awesome. But she's even better in my head.



See this is why we write our own stuff. Fanfic gets a bad name, but what we're given is often more use as raw material. And the officially sanctioned multi author playgrounds that own the rights will, eventually, trash everything they've built, in ways that offend the most people, so I don't even aspire to play there.

I just like to dream of superheroes.




So, day was pretty good, film was pretty good, I shall probably next get plot bunnies.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
my neighbours are bad for my calm.
their music is loud. someone went and knocked on their door. then the music got louder.
my headphones are a bit broken. my computer with the killing things games is broken. my distractions are pretty minimal.

their music goes on and on and on and on and on
and I'm kind of tempted to go put some of my CDs through their letterbox just to get some variety
except, funny thing, when music I like is played constantly at volumes I don't like, it somehow becomes music I don't like.

I realise my problems are very small in the grand scheme of things.

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