beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I can see my desktop.
I can see my actual physical desktop.
I can see all my desktop, for it is clean and empty.

For the first time since, the paperwork accumulation suggests, 2008.


Read more... )

There's also another desk I bought at some point, still in its flatpack.

Read more... )

I daydream of new furniture to go in a new house. If I get new furniture before a new house then I won't know what fits. Of course if I don't get a new house it's all one anyway.

Also if I buy the exact stuff I dream about, I'll have spent the house deposit on the ercol.
... but the furniture would last for the foreseeable...
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Food is good
My house is clean and even vacuumed
Tuesdays are awesome
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
The Buffy-Avengers fusion turns out to end with Natasha as the Slayer.
So it's still wrong, but not as wrong.

... I've still got a brain full of alternative fusion versions...
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Also bouncing me out of the Buffyverse fusion story: Characters that got kicked out of university, so now they're in high school.

Does not compute.

(If you're playing with Tony you need to start with season 4 and put him in Sunnydale University, alongside the whole massive military science fail there.)

Actually any high school AU with Tony in it I just keep seeing this 12 year old trying to keep up with the 16 year olds and then nope out of there fast.

I know more people have been to high school but your favourites at that age were not all having the same experiences.

... for some reason I got a sudden mental image of a Blakes 7 high school AU. I think I broke my brain...
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Delivery Day worked, and Cleaner Day worked
and I sorted and cleaned through the six drawers under the TV, which turned out to be craft supplies I haven't touched for a decade, so now they're all sorted and only 3 drawers are full.
The Cleaner did the Vacuum Cleanering for her half of the house but it makes the weird noise for her now even. We tried swapping the bag but that didn't fix it. Also she spilled the bag in the hall so all them weeks of dust were in a heap, which I did not want. But it vacuumed up again.
Also vacuum cleaners do a lot even if you can't see it, all them weeks of dust were quite visible once they were spilled again.

Next it is my turn to vacuum my half of the house. I was going to try this morning but got sidetracked when 'put away all drying things' turned out to not work because they're not dry.
Cleaner Day has many components.

This is why Cleaner Day is also Apple Thing Day, because I get good food after I do all the stuff.

Also on Habit RPG I get new pets and stuff. Actually no stuff, I bought all the stuff already, so now my character just has all the golds. I think they mean for you to invent things to spend golds on, but I didn't so now I have 5.7k golds. Which is a lot.

Later I shall have to phone people, because once again people that I contacted by email responded by only sending their phone number.
I am really quite tired of that, especially since everywhere I talk to are disability organisations.

Also I need to phone the place where nobody answers email, to see if they still exist or get emails.

I found Halloween in one of the craft drawers, so now there is a glow in the dark skeleton hanging on the bathroom door.
I checked with the cleaner first that she don't mind, because not everybody likes skeletons. But she helped me hang it up, so that's okay.

Also in the drawer are two very sparkly cobweb decorations that look like they've been snowed on. I think I'll try and figure how to hang them in the windows.

Once I've done the other jobs.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I'm having a second try at reading a Buffy/Avengers fusion AU where Clint is the Slayer.
I bounced off it on the first try at the obvious wrongness of the casting. Natasha is the Slayer. (Also River and Echo. Joss Whedon has a Thing, and it is aaaaaalllll about Black Widow.)
On second try I just keep... Giles glasses cleaning at the way the casting just won't stay still. It's not consistent. People get lines from a bunch of characters all mixed together.
Which demonstrates a tone deaf lack of awareness for character voice that would be jarring even if I didn't have Buffy near memorised.
Plus there's the tiny problem where some of the lines are new and then a whole bunch will be dropped straight in quoted. And again, character voice goes out the window.
And Phil, Coulson, is cast as Angel.
He is clearly and obviously the Watcher, but noooooo, they wanted to write Clint/Coulson and somehow got stuck on the whole Buffy/Angel vibe for their idea.
But so far he's only said Angel's lines. Plus Clint, a high school student, describes him as a few years older than him, but with receding hair. So I can't hear Coulson, and I don't know how I'm supposed to be seeing him.

It's making me want to fic just so I can pull it apart and do it right.

Also, so I can put the women back in the story. I don't think there's been a single woman with a speaking part in this entire fic.

Read more... )

It's 0130 and I'm all plot bunnies for a fusion 'verse I almost certainly won't write.
That's useful.

and I still haven't finished reading the fic that sparked all these ideas.
It's part one of a trilogy and it's... not drawing me in.

I should go sleep.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I am winning!
I have sorted through every single piece of paper in the five layers of plastic drawers, and thrown out a bazillion of them, after tearing them nice and small.
... a shredder might have been useful.
I have even put the Doctor Who CDs in the emptied drawers. 3/5 are Doctor Who now. Much better.

Sliiiiiight problem: The frame has crumpled so the drawers can't go in and out properly.
I guess they weren't meant to be load bearing.
Sooooo.... I need to buy furniture that's actually fit for purpose.
Unfortunately I also need to have space to put said furniture.
Slightly complicated games of reshuffle must ensue.

I'd quite like some nice filing cabinets. I could sort things out all neat and tidy and know where they were for next time. I like the wooden ones but there's only ever two drawers, like a home office won't have very much paperwork.

There's some nice gull wing cabinets for CDs too. Expensive, but they pack a lot of things in together. But they're usually short too. Tall shelves could be better if I ever had any space for more shelves.

... new house has more space. new house plan is a bit slower though...

I have also done the Sunday jobs. Shopping with mum, bath, laundry and more laundry. Much winning.
... I hope the laundry worked correctly, it didn't take as long as I expected.

I am currently listening to Doctor Who "Eldrad Must Die". it has Turlough so is automatically ahead on points. But then everyone puts on Portentous Hypnosis Voice and it gets less interesting again.
I'm still liking it though.

Sunday of win
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Stories pretty often suffer from a basic lack of understanding how humans work, so lack of understanding nuclear weapons isn't exactly a surprise, but still.

Adding plutonium to an exploding arrow does not make it a bigger explosion. Regular explosives are violently exothermic chemical reactions. Nuclear explosions are, well, nuclear, a whole different deal. To make nukes go bang they put the nuclear material in the middle of the explosive so it'll get squished together to form a critical mass. That means it doesn't go boom while it's waiting and smaller amounts of material can be coaxed into boom. But you still need a critical mass. Which is, google and wiki suggests, somewhere around 5kg for a really worrying element plus explosives.

You do not stick 5kg on the end of an arrow.

Smaller amounts of nuclear material just add radioactivity and poison to your boom stuff. Plutonium is a toxic metal, as dust (like after exploding) it can get breathed in and stay in the body for decades, and once there exposes the body to radiation. And these effects apply for extremely tiny amounts.

So, reading a fic where Hawkeye has souped up his arrows with plutonium?
And, when Cap asks if that's safe for bystanders, is all 'sure!' ?

No I'm not leaving this as a comment, it's comic book fanfic, the bar is set low.

Also my degree is in English so I might have got bunches wrong.

But stuff like this is just distracting.

Also real science makes much more interesting stories cause they have real constraints you have to work hard to overcome, and possibilities with fascinating implications.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I was going to go to bed, it being midnight and all
but I got fed up at how little I'd done today
so I decided to throw away just one thing.

Only I found one drawer had batteries that will still work for a couple of months
and another had yarn
and one was mostly empty except for some art pencils

so I went to the drawers that have paperwork in
... two whole drawers later, it is 0115, but I have done actual tasks on the to-do list.

Read more... )

So anyway, things done.
Now I will attempt sleep again.
... nowish anyway...
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
There is someone in the hallway being clacky and scraping and thud where I cannot see them.
I don't know their ringtone.
Who would be calling them at 0445 anyway?

I would really like to move somewhere where I don't have to worry that someone has decided to live in the hallways.

Also it would be nice if everyone was well housed and didn't feel the need to live in the hallways.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Good start. Read more... )

I'm very annoyed at that ending.

I could write a fixit given those parts but I do not believe the series writers intend to.

They've kept what I didn't want and done bad things with it.
I'm ... okay I know me so if I watched this long I'm likely to keep going, but I'm going to feel bad about it and try and talk myself out of watching next week.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
The delivery place's phone just rings twice then makes the engaged noise and then goes silent.
It has been doing this for half an hour now.
So I have no food from them.

I have plenty of food but in order to eat it I have to decide that take away day is definitely not happening.
Which I don't wanna.

Also there are other delivery places, so in theory I have options, I just don't have their menu memorised or anything.

Also also I have 14 minutes to decide if I want to watch season 2 of Agents of SHIELD despite the thing I know happens that I am very very annoyed about.
I mean I know I want to watch Coulson and May, but I don't know if I want to watch a show that keeps killing characters of particular groups.
So I have to decide.

It would be easier to decide if it weren't fully half the TV I actually watch lately.


10 minutes now.

... I'm probably going to watch, and then be really annoyed.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
It is 0230.
I went to bed at a reasonable hour but my neighbours kept bam crunching
and then yelling at someone to take the padlock off?
... that sounds like a story.
Also someone is playing their music at what they probably think is a nice reasonable volume, but which leaves me with just the beat and maaaaaybe the melody, changing every few minutes. It's just enough to get my attention and just variable enough to get it back often.
... and it's possible it just finally went quiet when that bloke just now slam door went out and went 'see you in a bit'. yes I can hear neighbour conversations if they're not behind their doors.
so I'm awake and bored and telling the whole internet.
... sorry, it's not like you need to know either.

I look forward to possibly having fewer and quieter neighbours. that would be nice.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
If someone didn't warn for allergens because they feel people shouldn't be put off an experience just by reading the label.

That's pretty clearly evil. So why is it difficult when it's a different trigger?
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Authors that are all sadface about trigger warnings and say stuff like 'maybe you should be disturbed'
are either actually evil
or cannot stretch their minds around the scale of consequences.

Trigger warnings here for discussing mental health problems and consequent physical harm: Read more... )

I'm pretty sure I will not be buying the book.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Today woke up and got up in the technically am because stubborn
couldn't think of anything to do.
Played Sims 3 until the baby hypnotised everyone with crying, so the baby won't stop or be picked up or anything that could fix it and the entire household will only stand there trying to stop the baby crying. They won't even pass out of tired. They just stand.
It's an interesting superpower but I feel it interferes with the gameplay somewhat.
Aaaaand I remember why I stopped playing the stupid thing.

I can't remember when I last saved. Possibly before the baby existed?

I was running that family mostly so I could build terraced houses like I'm looking for. Except that Sims stairs will not do the thing I want Norwich stairs to do, they have only one size of stairs, so the closest I can get is to make the house the width of the stairs and then see how to arrange stairs for maximum benefit. Plus Sims doors won't go opposite each other or right at the top of the stairs, because they won't splat into each other, so Sims doors take up more space than real doors (which can slide or open in opposite directions) and I can't arrange them correctly.

It's a bit pointless really.

I've just run out of things to do.

I should start writing a book but it's been years since I wrote even a short thing and more than a year since I wrote academic whatsits and I fear my brain fell out when I wasn't paying attention.

I have a whole lot of hours stretching out ahead of me.
Reading books and playing games sort of wears thin after a few decades.
Having actual nothing to do is not fun.

I could theoretically leave the house and go Do Things, but I can never find things to Do, and the things that exist I can't get back from because transport, and it's the same stupid constraints that have left me trying to move to Norwich for... it's definitely more than five years and could well be heading for a decade.

Nothing and more nothing.


Writing books is pretty much all I've got left.
I know I'm kind of bad at it, and the only way to get better is practice.
But mostly my head is full of, well, nothing, in a static and fog kind of way, and writing that down is super boring.

Boo to everything.

I can watch more TV or something.

Yes I know as problems go this doesn't look like much, but if there's nothing to do there's me, depression, and anxiety, sitting staring at the walls.

Everything is stupid and I would rather be painting a house or something.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
but they tried to fix it

I just spent 20 minutes on hold trying to contact ASDA
because I attempted to follow instructions for contacting them online and the links they mention plain don't exist
so, phone.

I needed to phone because the Quorn Samosas were use by 20th October, in a 21st October delivery.
While I was there I complained about the chicken soup substitute as well.
So that's 20 minutes for a grand total of £3.49 of refund.

I just didn't feel like letting them get away with it.
Grumpy staff that don't hang around to let you check they've actually delivered your stuff, and then past date food, it's just not on.

So now I go make a meal plan that copes with the way the rest of the Quorn is use by today or tomorrow
which is clearly helpful in a weekly shop.

To be fair the lady on the phone just refunded things and said they were sorry a lot.
So she was doing her job right.

But not the rest.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Last night I read The Ocean At The End Of The Lane by Neil Gaiman.
I've owned it for ages now but I've been putting off reading it cause from what I read it was going to be somewhere between scary and disturbing.
I was not wrong. That messed with my head. Cause it isn't exactly what I'd call fantasy, one of the blurbs said it's more magical realism which seems to mean it's basically real stuff with light effects on it, the weird fantasy elements just kind of fade back when I remember the story, and then it's just domestic stuff and bad things happening to children, mostly done by the ones meant to look after them.
I mean, I can see it's got all magic stuff all over it, but the memorable to me bits are the extra triggery Read more... )
The conversation in the back says something about how the story is about the powerlessness of childhood.
How it isn't a children's story because children's stories have hope.

It isn't an adventure story with cunning and winning in the end, it's about enduring and trying over and over to get help until the one remaining trustworthy grown up makes the bad shit go away. And that's after terrible things have happened, including at the end Read more... )

So it just felt bad to read and felt bad after reading and then I curled up with Tony Stark and Bruce Banner and Clint Barton and remembered growing up to be heroes can happen and eventually got to sleep, and couldn't get around to thinking of any reason to get up today until the afternoon.

Which I'd been doing better on recently.

So. I'm absolutely sure that the horrible grey hollow feeling the book left me with was not what the author set out to do. Another reader would get an entirely different reading from this book.

But if you think these kinds of things are likely to bother you, probably you would like to not read this one.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Every time I order from them it's only because it has been long enough since the last time I forget I'm Not Shopping With Them rather than just haven't shopped for a while.

This time it was dumping everything in the hall outside my door in flimsy torn plastic bags
not bothering to mention there's substitutions
or stick around long enough to take the bags back
and, as it turns out, swapping vegetable soup for chicken.
Chicken soup.
In a vegetarian order with many vegetable and vegetarian options.

Clearly it could be worse but it's blooming annoying.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Cleaner day happened
and I did my half of the jobs
which now includes Vacuum All The Things.

... my floor is much less sparkly now, but at least I can tell I did the work.

and then I sat down with a Doctor Who audio on and sorted old paperwork for the whole length of the adventure.
I can't tell you much about the adventure, except the Doctor and Mel saved the day... possibly by doing things the audience didn't get to see and then explaining them? Huh. Er, not engrossing, compared to checking the dates and tearing up a bazillion pieces of paper.
But I did make mass progress on project throw out all the things.

It's hard to decide how long to keep bits of paper. Last time I got asked for paper from Before I had to send two years of things, so if it's more than two years old it can probably go. I don't think I've been very consistent though.
I did find a stash of christmas and birthday cards, some of them from people I even still know who they are.
And there's a whole stack of torn out pages from homes magazines that I suspect are from last century. So that's interesting.

I still have 3 or 5 more drawers that need sorting. Three if counting by same volume as already sorted, but the lower drawers are sub divided so five. This is not a swift task.

But progress is progress, so yaays.

I can also console myself thinking that the longer it takes to find a house, the more of this stuff I can do before I move. Which clearly makes up for the ongoing lack of new properties on the market.

Food delivery is scheduled between 7 and 8 pm because I left it late to order yesterday. and it won't include the proper sort of apple thing because I was ordering from one of the shops that actually sells my juice.
it would be really handy if one supermarket stocked all the foods.

But today's tasks are achieved, except for 'eat food'. Oh, and 'empty washing machine', has to hang things up.
I like it when things get done.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Last weekend at the con there were screenings of a documentary about Doctor Who fans. I watched a bit of it, then walked out all :eyeroll: It wasn't being deliberately rude or anything, but it was being drearily tedious in a very gendered way. It was about how Doctor Who fandom is changing, and it seemed really excited about it, and you'd think that would be a good thing. But.

There's this story that fanboys tell themselves, over and over, in a variety of spaces I've seen and been to.
The story goes "And suddenly, women!"

This story is always wrong.

Read more... )

So if their perception is also true what they need to be asking is why weren't women fans in the same spaces as men?

Read more... )

The thing is though, if someone can figure out the right questions, the ones about how a variety of people always liked the texts but now they are more likely to share fan spaces and do fan activities, that might get some useful answers. Like, what made people feel safe and welcome? What changed? How do we do it again?

Because the other thing I noticed at the convention - at all the conventions really - is how very very white we tend to be. Much more so than the UK in general. And the convention organiser had a nice speech at the closing ceremony about how everyone is welcome in fan spaces, no matter your gender, sexuality, or race... but I don't reckon you could prove it by the actual attendees. And that might be a failure of eyes on my part, but, the UK is 87% white according to the 2011 census. So there should be 13 people in every 100 that are not white. Even in a 200 person convention, that's 26. And I only actually noticed two.

Unless I missed a couple dozen people, we're too white. We need to understand that lack of diversity.

And asking the right questions seems like a good start.

Of course if a diverse audience actually isn't watching the same texts, okay. Anecdote is not data, and maybe I am that much the special snowflake, and happen to online know the only classic era women or people of color in fandom. But I can't actually believe that.

Which makes with the epic :eyeroll: when some fanboy story takes it as the baseline assumption.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
Did the shoppings, ate the breakfast (which was kind of blah and rubbery but it's only a supermarket cafe), bought a house magazine because it has a free... something with many pages that will probably be fun to look at.

my regular Sunday of awesome.

I need to sort out the shopping trolley situation (needs washed and is currently full of washing) because trying to carry it back got painful and then mum carried it but probably that's not comfy for mum.

Also need to remember to ask mum before inviting sibling over, cause she did veto it today after they'd agreed, so then everyone was :-( But I gave them my spare giant amounts of printer paper for a printer I probably don't own any more and even if I do it probably don't work. So they're probably ahead on the day.

Tomorrow's task list looms long, but today's tasks are rolling along nicely.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
I'm watching Fringe. I'm on the last disc and it is finding new and interesting ways to irritate me.
Read more... )

So I'm just bored and irritated.
Whatever this show is trying to do it is doing it very poorly.

Also Read more... ) Bored bored bored.

It's annoying when something I was enjoying just decides that the things I liked least about it were the selling points and pursues them to their stupid end points. And it keeps on happening.
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
certain items should never go in the washing machine.
sequins, especially glued on sequins, are clearly on that list.
... so why do I not remember that on the way in?


on the plus side, my floor is super shiny now. raining silver!
and I have an excuse to shop for a new shiny thing before next dancing opportunity.


beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)

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