![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Bond meets Horror
Jan. 11th, 2007 02:19 amYou know when you wake up in the small hours entirely consumed by a plot bunny?
Zombie James Bond.
Because it makes so much sense.
Actually, queer zombie Bond. (a) Because it's me writing and (b) because zombies have certain issues with blood flow, but that can be worked around.
He'd be recruited on the basis someone decided it was serve here or in Hell.
And zombies are damn near indestructible - plus, easy reassembly. We'd open with one of those classic Bond action sequences, only towards the end he'd get shot by something so nasty it goes straight through both him and the armour. He'd look down, smirk, and say something about how they ruined a perfectly good suit. And then it would be his turn to do shooting. And there'd be nothing left but corpses - and only one of them still standing.
Back to base and demonstrating to the new recruits - sure, modern weapons can blow you to pieces, but the service will scrape those pieces up and run a ritual on them until you're good as new. Semper somethingorother, that would be. Always takes on a new meaning if you're undead.
And of course the enemy would have the same opportunities - or more, even. England is a Christian country. There's probably things they won't do.
A big reveal would be that the Queen Elizabeth he serves is not in fact the second one. Because when England broke with the church in Rome they became responsible for their own supernatural defences, and that required certain sacrifices.
The fun part of course is that there's so many plots already written. No need for the pesky 'thinking things up' phase, just twisting them to the new background. I can already think of fun things to do with that evangelist church that was the cover for the bad guys in one film. And a guy with the name Janus? Obviously a double agent, but working for whom? Pagan resistance cells? Maybe someone with a deal to get out.
... Being out would be the goal of most of these agents.
... And not just because the pun is too tempting.
It would be a saga of seizing the day even when you've technically run out of them. There would be grand romance, and a whole lot of shagging. Bond doing his duty, whatever that involves, but coming home to the only people who truly understand.
... And, because my brain is evil, it's now trying to hook him up with a certain RAF Captain from world war 2.
... Because pretty. And angsty. And, you know, deeply deeply twisted.
The only problem of course becomes that 'You only live twice' is logically the origin story, only I can't really remember it.
Mind you, the *other* problem is my deep and abiding lack of motivation to ever watch a Bond film again.
I guess I could get over that for two hours at a time, make some notes, steal the interesting bits and go write queer undead covert ops vs cabal stuff. Because that's pretty much adding all the elements I ever find fun, so I'm really not about to get bored with it.
... my brain, it are *strange* ...
Zombie James Bond.
Because it makes so much sense.
Actually, queer zombie Bond. (a) Because it's me writing and (b) because zombies have certain issues with blood flow, but that can be worked around.
He'd be recruited on the basis someone decided it was serve here or in Hell.
And zombies are damn near indestructible - plus, easy reassembly. We'd open with one of those classic Bond action sequences, only towards the end he'd get shot by something so nasty it goes straight through both him and the armour. He'd look down, smirk, and say something about how they ruined a perfectly good suit. And then it would be his turn to do shooting. And there'd be nothing left but corpses - and only one of them still standing.
Back to base and demonstrating to the new recruits - sure, modern weapons can blow you to pieces, but the service will scrape those pieces up and run a ritual on them until you're good as new. Semper somethingorother, that would be. Always takes on a new meaning if you're undead.
And of course the enemy would have the same opportunities - or more, even. England is a Christian country. There's probably things they won't do.
A big reveal would be that the Queen Elizabeth he serves is not in fact the second one. Because when England broke with the church in Rome they became responsible for their own supernatural defences, and that required certain sacrifices.
The fun part of course is that there's so many plots already written. No need for the pesky 'thinking things up' phase, just twisting them to the new background. I can already think of fun things to do with that evangelist church that was the cover for the bad guys in one film. And a guy with the name Janus? Obviously a double agent, but working for whom? Pagan resistance cells? Maybe someone with a deal to get out.
... Being out would be the goal of most of these agents.
... And not just because the pun is too tempting.
It would be a saga of seizing the day even when you've technically run out of them. There would be grand romance, and a whole lot of shagging. Bond doing his duty, whatever that involves, but coming home to the only people who truly understand.
... And, because my brain is evil, it's now trying to hook him up with a certain RAF Captain from world war 2.
... Because pretty. And angsty. And, you know, deeply deeply twisted.
The only problem of course becomes that 'You only live twice' is logically the origin story, only I can't really remember it.
Mind you, the *other* problem is my deep and abiding lack of motivation to ever watch a Bond film again.
I guess I could get over that for two hours at a time, make some notes, steal the interesting bits and go write queer undead covert ops vs cabal stuff. Because that's pretty much adding all the elements I ever find fun, so I'm really not about to get bored with it.
... my brain, it are *strange* ...