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beccaelizabethOne interesting thing about Redemption: I'm pretty sure I met more autistic spectrum people (who said they were) in one weekend, or in one room at some points, than tend to be together at once at the autistic spectrum social groups I went to. I think perhaps we're not great with the getting together to be social if social is the whole point. Go talk about our favourite thing all weekend? Queues! (Except not queues because Redemption is mercifully free of those.) (Just enough people to make a queue, if we happened to all stand in a row.) And there's lots of cons I go to and very strongly suspect many of us are in attendance, but there's things about Red I like in particular.
I like structured discussion groups with a moderator better than I like trying to figure out when to talk in a crowded bar. I no so much like the ones at the end of the day when the distinction is eroded due to copious partaking of bar products. I dislike being interrupted. But I like when the panel person notices I've been interrupted and points at me for my turn again. It makes this whole talking thing much simpler if there's turns and waiting and someone to say who is next.
And topics are awesome. They're part of what makes talking at cons and SF club near infinitely easier than at other venues, because everyone is there for something we can all talk about. Random meetings of strangers at college seem to turn into discussions about offspring (or parents, depending on age), partners, and jobs, specifically how much work sucks. I have none of that to discuss, at least not to random persons. And while there are venues where one can just start talking about how much disability sucks, I am really and completely bored with that topic. Really. I keep having appointments with people who think they are going to offer help, and when the latest one heard about my autistic spectrum diagnosis he was all 'and you could learn about it!' and I'm trying to politely skip that part of the conversation because with an autistic brother and a parent involved in local charity work to do with learning disabled kids I knew quite substantial amounts about it even before I was diagnosed. And then I Read All the Things, as you do with a new diagnosis. And then I grasped that it was just an assortment of NTs with letters after their names trying to accurately describe me, which I could do quite well already thanks, and then it got boring. Substantially over a decade ago. The monthly social group meetings seemed sufficient time to actually be thinking about AS, in general, thanks. Plus it gets tedious when I know more about it than the people allegedly helping me.
... oh, apparently I have bitter. That wasn't today's point. Retry:
Topics are awesome, because instead of everyone sitting talking about things I cannot contribute to, we all have a topic, which we probably read about in advance, and it's about our very favourite thing, and there are alternative topics in settings of varying degrees of formality if we don't want to talk about this topic so anyone there has decided this was the Best thing to be talking about right now, and, we only talk if we have something to say. And we're referring to almost the same texts and having similar opinions but with enough room for discussion and it's really easy to do talking for an hour, instead of really awkward and stuttery and difficult like talking usually is.
... this doesn't stop me from getting home and going over every word I said and the jokes that didn't work (actually outnumbered by the times I wanted people to laugh and the whole room did, that's new) and the opinions I had that might just be wrong wrongity wrong and why am I disagreeing with these clearly sensible people who are probably more competent at life than I am and woe woe again woe I should not make words no no more words for me nope.
... as you can see from this lengthy blog entry.
I hate the idea that I said stupid things and annoyed people, yet I don't tend to recall from one con to the next the times someone was stupid or annoying, because why bother when there were lots of interesting things to recall?
(Plus most of the times I started finding people annoying I counted the hours since my last meal or sleep and thought 'ah' and went back to my room for a bit. It is hard not to keep going until overload when so much *interesting* keeps happening.)
Also if people didn't want to talk to me there were nearly 300 other people to talk to so I think I can assume any conversation they didn't run away from was at least enough interesting to sit still for.
But try telling the other bit of my brain that :eyeroll:
So I think the talking parts of the con are very AS friendly. And how the whole thing is very structured, you can spend all your time doing things that are on a timetable and you can plan them in advance if you want. Or if you don't want you don't have to. And I like that there are disabled rates for paying for the thing and there's lots of other disabled people there and I can be pretty sure if I start telling stories about being stuck on the cold seats because disabled then I will get lots of nods and return stories rather than blank looks and turning backs. I found it welcoming and inclusive, in ways that not all cons are.
Also, I like dancing. There are lots of different sorts of dancing to be doing at Redemption. And I only did the con disco (where my idea of how to dance to con songs was the minority view and I ended up with half a dozen people near the DJ desk doing one version while the rest of the floor did another, and that worked okay.) But I could have done lots of sorts of dancing and had workshops first to learn how. If one sort of dancing didn't work for you, another would be along in a minute. The disco with Marwan had some hours with con tracks and some Air Guitar Band hours. It was fun.
I like dancing partly because it isn't talking. And when people wanted to sit on the table I was using they asked (a) if there was anyone sitting there and (b) if I had planned to be alone, the latter of which is new in my experience. And then when I wasn't talky they were okay with that. Their talky social and my nodding to the music social could co-exist. Con discos are cool like that.
My dancing is not all the sort of dancing that looks like dancing on the outside. Partly because before the end everything hurt zomg and it was a corset for structural reasons weekend already, but also because I'm not always dancing to be social to music, though I like that bit, and I'm not generally dancing to wiggle for an audience that may find me attractive, not least because I'm unlikely to ever notice that bit. I'm dancing to have interesting movement. Like spending ages sitting and rocking or making my hands twirl, only with a soundtrack and sometimes formalised movements that everyone else is doing too.
I like dancing with my earrings. I was trying to think of having read anything ever that sounds even vaguely like that statement or what I mean by it, but I'm coming up short, so is maybe not an NT thing to notice. I have read about earrings as visual experiences, all the glitter, and I like that; also about audio jangly earrings, and my stars ones are very good at that. But earrings have weight and length, and they pull your ears around and drape against your neck and maybe shoulders in patterns, and if you nod and wiggle your head around your earrings dance in counterpoint and it's an interesting tactile experience. I have been trying to figure which word it is for noticing a weight pulling this way and that, it doesn't feel like touch exactly, it might be another word. So I have music for ears and disco lights for eyes and drink for taste and earrings for these other things, and it is excellent fun. And other people are doing much the same things, and fun-together is more fun.
It doesn't seem like dancing that is not con dancing is the same sort of together. Like, con dancing is not generally couples dancing or that bouncing club dancing that's all about bumping parts. Different goals. Music is primarily intertextual, linking to TV shows or themes through lyrics or through being in something fannish, or perhaps just because that song is always on at other cons, I don't know.
... Chumbawumba, Tubthumping, danced to at possibly every con I been to since 1998: Highlander song. "I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never going to keep me down."
I guess other people's musical traditions build up associations too, but these are those of My Tribe, so the music is richer to me. And much of the room. So it's fun-together again.
I also liked when there was Grease and the DJ didn't say 'males one side females the other' but specified 'identified'. I still sat down instead of choosing but it's a nice start.
I also like costumes. Clothes rules are complicated, in far too many ways. Dressing up as sparkly vampires is simples in comparison.
Though there were a lot more zombies this year than I have seen before.
... zombies continue to creep me out. So that was some very effective peeling makeup and props they had there.
I did not like missing the fancy dress and cabaret. That's always a good bit. People put work into that and I remember previous years bits and they were interesting.
But I realised I was at lie down or fall down point and had to give up for a couple hours.
I realise now that the hours I'd previously decided were for having a rest I had instead filled with such fripperies as actually acquiring food this time. Clearly I can skip that next time for more fun bits. ;-)
At the Dead Dog Party I collected a list of what everyone else thought were the best bits of the weekend. Which, since it was mostly bits I hadn't been to, briefly gave me the :-( But then I realised that means there's more than one excellently awesome convention going on in the same building at once, because I'd had a very happy weekend until it occured to me I'd Missed Stuff, and now I'm feeling happy about the stuff I went to again, which was all good, so there was one full weekend of All Good and then this other set of weekend that was also All Good for the people that did that. Which is really very good going.
I booked for next Redemption before I left this one. I may spend much of the intervening time telling everyone what a good idea that is. Because that was fun.
I like structured discussion groups with a moderator better than I like trying to figure out when to talk in a crowded bar. I no so much like the ones at the end of the day when the distinction is eroded due to copious partaking of bar products. I dislike being interrupted. But I like when the panel person notices I've been interrupted and points at me for my turn again. It makes this whole talking thing much simpler if there's turns and waiting and someone to say who is next.
And topics are awesome. They're part of what makes talking at cons and SF club near infinitely easier than at other venues, because everyone is there for something we can all talk about. Random meetings of strangers at college seem to turn into discussions about offspring (or parents, depending on age), partners, and jobs, specifically how much work sucks. I have none of that to discuss, at least not to random persons. And while there are venues where one can just start talking about how much disability sucks, I am really and completely bored with that topic. Really. I keep having appointments with people who think they are going to offer help, and when the latest one heard about my autistic spectrum diagnosis he was all 'and you could learn about it!' and I'm trying to politely skip that part of the conversation because with an autistic brother and a parent involved in local charity work to do with learning disabled kids I knew quite substantial amounts about it even before I was diagnosed. And then I Read All the Things, as you do with a new diagnosis. And then I grasped that it was just an assortment of NTs with letters after their names trying to accurately describe me, which I could do quite well already thanks, and then it got boring. Substantially over a decade ago. The monthly social group meetings seemed sufficient time to actually be thinking about AS, in general, thanks. Plus it gets tedious when I know more about it than the people allegedly helping me.
... oh, apparently I have bitter. That wasn't today's point. Retry:
Topics are awesome, because instead of everyone sitting talking about things I cannot contribute to, we all have a topic, which we probably read about in advance, and it's about our very favourite thing, and there are alternative topics in settings of varying degrees of formality if we don't want to talk about this topic so anyone there has decided this was the Best thing to be talking about right now, and, we only talk if we have something to say. And we're referring to almost the same texts and having similar opinions but with enough room for discussion and it's really easy to do talking for an hour, instead of really awkward and stuttery and difficult like talking usually is.
... this doesn't stop me from getting home and going over every word I said and the jokes that didn't work (actually outnumbered by the times I wanted people to laugh and the whole room did, that's new) and the opinions I had that might just be wrong wrongity wrong and why am I disagreeing with these clearly sensible people who are probably more competent at life than I am and woe woe again woe I should not make words no no more words for me nope.
... as you can see from this lengthy blog entry.
I hate the idea that I said stupid things and annoyed people, yet I don't tend to recall from one con to the next the times someone was stupid or annoying, because why bother when there were lots of interesting things to recall?
(Plus most of the times I started finding people annoying I counted the hours since my last meal or sleep and thought 'ah' and went back to my room for a bit. It is hard not to keep going until overload when so much *interesting* keeps happening.)
Also if people didn't want to talk to me there were nearly 300 other people to talk to so I think I can assume any conversation they didn't run away from was at least enough interesting to sit still for.
But try telling the other bit of my brain that :eyeroll:
So I think the talking parts of the con are very AS friendly. And how the whole thing is very structured, you can spend all your time doing things that are on a timetable and you can plan them in advance if you want. Or if you don't want you don't have to. And I like that there are disabled rates for paying for the thing and there's lots of other disabled people there and I can be pretty sure if I start telling stories about being stuck on the cold seats because disabled then I will get lots of nods and return stories rather than blank looks and turning backs. I found it welcoming and inclusive, in ways that not all cons are.
Also, I like dancing. There are lots of different sorts of dancing to be doing at Redemption. And I only did the con disco (where my idea of how to dance to con songs was the minority view and I ended up with half a dozen people near the DJ desk doing one version while the rest of the floor did another, and that worked okay.) But I could have done lots of sorts of dancing and had workshops first to learn how. If one sort of dancing didn't work for you, another would be along in a minute. The disco with Marwan had some hours with con tracks and some Air Guitar Band hours. It was fun.
I like dancing partly because it isn't talking. And when people wanted to sit on the table I was using they asked (a) if there was anyone sitting there and (b) if I had planned to be alone, the latter of which is new in my experience. And then when I wasn't talky they were okay with that. Their talky social and my nodding to the music social could co-exist. Con discos are cool like that.
My dancing is not all the sort of dancing that looks like dancing on the outside. Partly because before the end everything hurt zomg and it was a corset for structural reasons weekend already, but also because I'm not always dancing to be social to music, though I like that bit, and I'm not generally dancing to wiggle for an audience that may find me attractive, not least because I'm unlikely to ever notice that bit. I'm dancing to have interesting movement. Like spending ages sitting and rocking or making my hands twirl, only with a soundtrack and sometimes formalised movements that everyone else is doing too.
I like dancing with my earrings. I was trying to think of having read anything ever that sounds even vaguely like that statement or what I mean by it, but I'm coming up short, so is maybe not an NT thing to notice. I have read about earrings as visual experiences, all the glitter, and I like that; also about audio jangly earrings, and my stars ones are very good at that. But earrings have weight and length, and they pull your ears around and drape against your neck and maybe shoulders in patterns, and if you nod and wiggle your head around your earrings dance in counterpoint and it's an interesting tactile experience. I have been trying to figure which word it is for noticing a weight pulling this way and that, it doesn't feel like touch exactly, it might be another word. So I have music for ears and disco lights for eyes and drink for taste and earrings for these other things, and it is excellent fun. And other people are doing much the same things, and fun-together is more fun.
It doesn't seem like dancing that is not con dancing is the same sort of together. Like, con dancing is not generally couples dancing or that bouncing club dancing that's all about bumping parts. Different goals. Music is primarily intertextual, linking to TV shows or themes through lyrics or through being in something fannish, or perhaps just because that song is always on at other cons, I don't know.
... Chumbawumba, Tubthumping, danced to at possibly every con I been to since 1998: Highlander song. "I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never going to keep me down."
I guess other people's musical traditions build up associations too, but these are those of My Tribe, so the music is richer to me. And much of the room. So it's fun-together again.
I also liked when there was Grease and the DJ didn't say 'males one side females the other' but specified 'identified'. I still sat down instead of choosing but it's a nice start.
I also like costumes. Clothes rules are complicated, in far too many ways. Dressing up as sparkly vampires is simples in comparison.
Though there were a lot more zombies this year than I have seen before.
... zombies continue to creep me out. So that was some very effective peeling makeup and props they had there.
I did not like missing the fancy dress and cabaret. That's always a good bit. People put work into that and I remember previous years bits and they were interesting.
But I realised I was at lie down or fall down point and had to give up for a couple hours.
I realise now that the hours I'd previously decided were for having a rest I had instead filled with such fripperies as actually acquiring food this time. Clearly I can skip that next time for more fun bits. ;-)
At the Dead Dog Party I collected a list of what everyone else thought were the best bits of the weekend. Which, since it was mostly bits I hadn't been to, briefly gave me the :-( But then I realised that means there's more than one excellently awesome convention going on in the same building at once, because I'd had a very happy weekend until it occured to me I'd Missed Stuff, and now I'm feeling happy about the stuff I went to again, which was all good, so there was one full weekend of All Good and then this other set of weekend that was also All Good for the people that did that. Which is really very good going.
I booked for next Redemption before I left this one. I may spend much of the intervening time telling everyone what a good idea that is. Because that was fun.